


Dark Soul

by EllaBurnella



Series: Dark Reylo Series [2]
Category: Jekyll & Hyde - Wildhorn/Wildhorn & Bricusse & Cuden/Bricusse, Mary Reilly (1996), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde - Robert Louis Stevenson
Genre: 1800s, Blood and Violence, Character Death, Dark Reylo, Dark Romance, Drama & Romance, Eventual Smut, Evil, F/M, Fantasy, Good and Evil, Gothic Romance, Horror, Jekyll and Hyde, Murder, Science Experiments, Tragedy, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:55:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 60,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24598630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllaBurnella/pseuds/EllaBurnella
Summary: Rey's life holds little meaning. No family, barely anyone who even knows her name, and not a single joyous memory of her past. She works comfortably as a maid in the household of the revered Dr. Ben Solo, a man she hardly knows even after her long service to him.But things begin to take a turn when gossip spreads that the doctor is driving himself ill on his new research, research that requires the assistance of a loathsome man named Kylo Ren who is brought into the house and Rey's life to unleash a horrific chain of events.As things start to spiral uncontrollably down a frightful path, Rey finds herself not only drawn to the kind Dr. Solo and his growing gentleness towards her, but also to the menacing advances of Mr. Ren, who seems intent on having her for himself.It will send her on a harrowing journey of death, lust, and heartbreak.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Dark Reylo Series [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1746082
Comments: 64
Kudos: 94





	1. I Need to Know

The days in D’Qar are always cold and grey. Like a saddened wasteland. Or perhaps it’s just the area where the Solo mansion is. Surrounded by sadness as if it were the cause, though the place is probably the most well meaning building within a hundred miles. 

Rey tries not to think in such ways. It does no good to constantly complain about the drab weather or the depressing state of the town. Or all the cruel people in it. 

But it’s hard to keep her mind from wandering when she has nothing to listen to or speak about. She’s assigned work to perform alone quite often, and she honestly prefers it that way, but it has certainly caused her to feel a bit insane at times when she has no one to spout her thoughts to but herself. 

It’s like that this morning, as it is every morning when she rises before the sun can come up and make its half hearted attempt to break through the clouds, and makes her way down to the front steps of the magnificent white mansion, bucket and brush in hand, ready to kneel upon the stone steps for the next couple hours of the early morning. 

The thin rags that serve as clothes do little to shield her against the chilly, foggy morning air, but she’s been doing this for so many years now, she thinks her body has pretty much adapted to it by now. 

It’s almost therapeutic to know that she and maybe two other employees are awake at this hour while everyone else is still unconscious, their day far from beginning. It is especially reassuring to know that Armitage Hux, the loathsome wretch who is in charge of the staff and behaves in a ratlike manner that matches his pompous appearance, isn’t around yet to begin terrorizing everyone within sight. 

After finishing up with the steps and polishing up the plaque beside the front doors, Rey goes to bring firewood in from where it has been stacked neatly in the shed and place it in the fireplaces in all the rooms, starting the fires up again to warm the endlessly cold house. 

She goes to wash up after and begin her inside chores. This would begin with dusting the furniture in the living room, which takes over an hour before being done to satisfaction. Then it is the laundry, helping to wash the dishes from breakfast, back to finish up the laundry, helping to reorganize all the rooms in the house to make them presentable, though it is very rare that the doctor would have any visitors. Hux however feels as though the house should constantly be kept in pristine condition. 

This morning, Rey catches sight of the deplorable man much earlier than she would have liked. 

He stands above her, that smug look on his face when his feelings of superiority are at their highest. His suits are always as straight and unmoving as his posture, as if made of a pale eerie stone. His bright red hair is always slicked back down his head, as if every morning he strived to pull it back so far that it would simply rip out of his head.

It gives Rey a small amount of petty joy that her heartless superior hates his own bright colored hair that contrasts everything he seems to stand for. 

“You are to go up to the doctor’s chambers immediately to make up his bed,” he informs her, the timbre of his voice even matching his strict appearance. 

Forgetting herself entirely, Rey gapes up at the man in surprise at his demand. 

“I… I’m not sure I understand, sir-”

“Quit your blubbering and do as you’re told,” he snaps, his eyes narrowing warningly.

“I’m sorry sir, it’s just… is the doctor comfortable with me-”

“Girl, if you weren’t permitted to do it, I would not have given you the order,” he continues, only becoming more irritable. 

Rey feels a shiver go down her spine at the hateful look he gives her now, and she decides to stop the battle before it can grow any further.

“Yes, sir,” she bows her head, leaving the laundry she had currently been at work on, wiping her dampened hands on her apron. “I’ll go straight away.” 

Hux thankfully walks himself out of the small shack that serves as a laundry room while Rey sets the clothes aside to be attended to later. 

She not only tries to avoid Hux whenever she can just for the reason that he is insufferable. But that scornful look he always gives her… a look that seems to be reserved just for her especially… reminds her so much of the looks she used to get, years ago from the cruel monster that raised her. A look that promised so much pain and hurt whenever he was displeased with her.

Putting up the mental walls that serve to block out all those horrid memories, Rey tries to instead wrap her mind around why on Earth the doctor requires someone to make up his bed this morning. 

Dr. Ben Solo famously made it clear that he is capable of taking care of his own quarters, always keeping everything extremely tidy and clean, at least according to the servant who goes up there every morning to give him his breakfast. All the other staff seemed to think it odd, but Rey supposed he just likes his privacy. She wouldn’t want anyone in her personal quarters if she had any. 

It’s an ominous feeling that Rey senses as she slowly ascends the spiral staircase, her eyes on the half open white door leading into the doctor’s chambers. A room she’s only ever glanced in every now and then when the door is left open. 

Everytime she’s peeked in before, she saw a pretty tidy, yet boring looking room. Nothing inside except a bed and a night table from the look of it. And now, when she steps inside and sees the full picture, she sees there really is not much else. She supposes, him being a doctor, he won’t have most of his life up where he sleeps. He probably spends more hours in his office or his laboratory. 

There does happen to be a heavy looking book with a nondescript brown cover that seems to practically scream for Rey’s attention. Books are probably the most interesting things in her life, though she’s only ever read three in her lifetime. 

She yearns to just reach out and at least open it up to see what it is, but she knows that would be a foolish thing to do here in the doctor’s bedroom where she has been directed to tidy his bed and nothing more. 

Rey has never seen the bed without the covers and pillows completely in order, so seeing it look as if the owner had simply rolled right out and left it as is, has her very thrown off. 

She goes about making up the bed, feeling quite awkward. It’s not as if she’s never made up a bed before, she’d do it sometimes on the rare occasions when a guest would stay the night in the house. But here, in the doctor’s chambers, she feels as if she’s doing something she shouldn’t be. The strange sensation she used to get when she knew she was about to be punished for something as a child. 

She’s just about to start re-organizing the pillows and pushing these silly thoughts to the back of her mind, when she hears footsteps coming up the stairs.

She has been working in the house long enough now to know the familiar ring of Dr. Solo’s footsteps. They are heavy, as if he were stomping around everywhere in weighted shoes, but when watching him walk by every now and then, Rey determined he was just maybe a bit clumsy and didn’t know how to handle himself. She supposed, when one has a mind as brilliant as his, there was no need to learn proper posture. Rey knows her own posture leaves much to be desired. 

Hearing the footsteps now sends a cold spike of fear through her that it never has before, and she hurriedly finishes with organizing the pillows on the bed though probably not as well as they could be, and rushes out just as she hears the heavy footsteps turning the corner. 

Rey leaps down the next hallway and stands against the wall, out of view as Dr. Solo goes into his bedroom. 

She’s about to turn and walk back downstairs and out in the back to finish the laundry, but holds back just a moment. 

Her eyes stay on the entrance as she waits with bated breath. Wondering if he will notice his bed has been made, unsure if he will be angered or grateful. No servant has ever gone into his quarters aside from Hux and the servant who brings him his breakfast, so Rey isn’t sure which reaction to expect, though she’s never heard of him becoming angered with any of the staff. Actually, he never seems to interact with them much at all. That’s Hux’s job. 

This morning isn’t any different. Rey stands a few feet away from the door just to see him exit, holding the brown book in his hand, and descending down the stairs again, not looking as if he noticed anything out of place. 

Rey only catches the back of his short jet black hair, he’s rushing away so fast, and she almost wants to call out to him. As if to say _stop, sir, did you notice I made your bed? ___

__Rey rolls her eyes at herself in disgust and goes down the stairs herself a few seconds after she’s sure the doctor has rushed off to wherever he needs to be._ _

__After finishing up the laundry, it’s quite late in the afternoon, yet of course the sky hardly looks different. Less fog maybe, but still the unyielding shield of clouds blocking any chance of sunlight._ _

__She heads toward the living room to tend to the fire, passing by the cracked open glass doors to the dining room as she does._ _

__Rey stops in her tracks when she notices none other than the doctor himself, leaning over what looks like hundreds of papers lying before him, reading and scribbling things down as if he can’t move fast enough._ _

__Dr. Solo is an incredibly tall and rather imposing looking man at first glance. Rey was actually a bit terrified of him the first time she had briefly met him when first brought to the house to work three years ago. But the doctor’s soft spoken manner and calm looking eyes are enough to assure anyone not to be quite so intimidated. His sharp and unmatched intellect is more threatening._ _

__But Rey is surprised to see him looking a bit disheveled today. His short black hair, usually combed back away from his face, looks as if he maybe didn’t brush it completely, or he got halfway there and gave up._ _

__It also looks like he forgot to button up his shirt all the way, and she at first makes a note to herself that she maybe isn’t ironing his clothes adequately enough, but she recognizes the light blue fabric to be the same shirt he wore yesterday._ _

__Everyone in the house has seen Dr. Solo get into a spell of inspiration when it comes to his research. He’ll often lock himself in his laboratory all hours of the day, forgetting to take his meals and not returning to the house until early hours of the morning. And without a doubt, some great solution for something will have come out of it. Just in the three years Rey has been here, she’s seen the doctor come up with some rather impressive and modern methods for assisting diseases of the mind. Medicines that would help mothers who had lost children feel less tortured inside, simple solutions from nature that could help people hearing voices inside their heads. Rey truly does find his work amazing._ _

__But something about the look on his face now, the slight frenzy she catches in his eyes, gives her an odd feeling. As if perhaps this work is a bit more important to him._ _

__Rey hears voices coming down the hallway, and quickly busies herself with heading to the living room to attend to the dying fire as she was supposed to._ _

__The matter is still on her mind late into the night, when she and Rose, the woman she shares her servant’s quarters with, are getting ready for bed._ _

__“... bringing those disgusting animals in the kitchen while they’re still alive, and expecting us to slaughter them?! How unsanitary and sickening is that?”_ _

__Rose is going on, as she always does, about how disgusting and overbearing she found the day’s work._ _

__“Is it essential for the doctor that we have live fish brought in from the market instead of ones that have already been chopped and diced, not ones that are still flopping about?”_ _

__Rey doesn’t answer as she and Rose turn back the sheets and get ready to crawl in, relieved to get off their feet for the next seven hours._ _

__“And, you think the man could show a little respect toward us,” Rose sighs as she collapses into the shared bed. “Has he ever said one word to you? He’s never spoken to me, not once, and I’m the one cooking up the damn food he eats everyday. He’s a bit of an ungrateful brat, is he not?”_ _

__This isn’t the first time Rose has ranted about Ben Solo._ _

__“I don’t think so,” Rey answers before blowing out the candle on her small bedside table._ _

__Rose snaps her head over to stare at her, probably surprised that Rey had actually answered her._ _

__“You don’t think so,” she states. “Have you had a conversation with the man?”_ _

__“No,” Rey shakes her head. “Of course not, I just… he’s so quiet and… well, he helps a lot of people with his work. Someone like that can’t be so bad.”_ _

__Rose doesn’t say anything for a moment, then eventually sighs and blows out the candle on her table, leaving their tiny bedroom lit only by the bluish light coming in through the window._ _

__“What do you think he’s working on?” Rey asks quietly, almost to herself as she stares blankly at the wall across from her._ _

__“How would I know?”_ _

__“Did you see him today? He looked… sort of different. Like something really important is going on.”_ _

__“Well, all I know is, if he doesn’t care to check in on what we’re doing, then I have no interest in whatever he spends his hours with.”_ _

__Rey doesn’t have an argument for that, so she decides to leave it be for the night and try to get some sleep, eventually able to let her exhaustion outweigh her curiosity._ _


	2. This Is The Moment

The day goes as usual for Rey. Average, but average means smooth and uneventful. Everything is going as it should be, until the early afternoon.

She has always enjoyed the peacefulness of working in the study. Although washing the large windows is far from the most glamorous task, she can at least perform it while being alone and surrounded by books. Every once in a while, when she’s absolutely sure no one will be walking by, she’ll take one off the shelf and just read one page. She’s found that there is a surprising mix of scientific and fictional stories. She wonders if Dr. Solo has read them all, or just keeps them because they’ve been here since his parents owned the estate. 

Rey had expected having to go into the doctor’s private chambers to make his bed would be the most unusual event of the week, but she nearly falls from the stool she’s standing upon when Dr. Solo simply bursts right into the room, loud footsteps showering down upon the carpeted floor as he moves straight toward the desk in the corner of the room, not taking any notice of the woman standing on a stepping stool and washing the windows, his eyes not tearing away for a second from the large book he has opened in his hands.

As he sits down, he opens a drawer and grabs a few papers and files out of it, his brow furrowed in concentration as Rey stands, frozen in place, gazing in horror at her employer who should be either in his office or his laboratory this time of day. 

While he scuffles about at the desk, Rey glances over to the grandfather clock standing against the wall.

Had she come in at the wrong time? Hux had made it very clear she was to clean the windows in here every Thursday between one and four pm. These are the times Dr. Solo would not be working in here, and therefore wouldn’t be bothered by her presence. 

Rey’s heart jumps to her throat when she turns back toward the desk to see him looking directly at her, no doubt taking in her terrified and confused expression. 

“Please,” he speaks, his deep voice calling out clearly across the room, “don’t mind me. You may go along.”

With that, his attention is glued back on the papers in front of him. 

Rey takes a moment to stare between him and the soapy water filled bucket waiting patiently for her beside the stepstool. 

“Excuse me, sir,” she finally forces herself to speak, willing her voice not to quiver with intimidation. 

He looks up, his eyes wide with questioning, but not with annoyance she thankfully notes. 

“I’ll be quite noisy,” she explains. “It would be better if… that I come back later,” she quickly catches herself before nearly telling him that he should be the one to return at a later time. 

He hardly seems affected at all, giving a slight shrug of his broad shoulders that seem to pull at his thin fabric shirt.

“It won’t be a problem,” he decides before leaning back over his work. “You’ll be no bother to me.” 

She doesn’t want to continue standing there like a fool, neglecting her duties, so Rey leans back down, dipping the rag into the bucket once again before stepping upon the stool to continue the windows.

It is by far the most awkward and uncomfortable experience Rey has ever had whilst cleaning. While she knows the doctor is no doubt lost in his work, she can’t help but move stiffly, feeling as if her every movement is under intense scrutiny. It also doesn’t help that she has to try not to make a sound, which is quite impossible, and her attempts at staying silent are thwarted when she starts spilling more water than usual, whether it’s from wetting the rag entirely too much, or accidentally nudging the bucket too harshly every few moments, causing the filthy water to slosh out onto the carpet. 

Rey is just praying Hux stays away from this side of the house today. 

Dr. Solo never seems to take notice, even to her constant spilling. He remains deeply enthralled by whatever it is he’s working on, a glint of excitement in his eyes as he rushes through notes, tears through pages of books, and scribbles down word upon word that Rey can’t help but try to focus her eyes on, even though she is too far from the desk to see any of the papers clearly. 

Eventually, he starts getting up, and she can’t help but stare after him when he does, as he takes a couple strides over to the bookshelves, reaching his hands up to brush his fingers along the countless spines of books until he finally lands on whatever it is he is looking for and rips it from the shelf, throwing it open and not even taking the time to sit back down before his eyes start pouring over whatever is inside. 

Rey tries not to stare in an attempt to find out which books he is choosing, but she eventually falls into a steady pattern of focusing in from the corner of her eye, spying on whatever reading material is in his hands at the moment. In fact, if the doctor took a moment to look up at the young maid, he would notice that she is slowly running the rag up and down on the same spot in the now spotless window. 

It goes on like this for a while, until the sun has moved to this side of the house, now glowing dimly through the mess of clouds through the sparkling clean windows that have probably never looked quite so good before. 

She is down to the final inch of the last window when the doctor suddenly jumps up from his desk, as if he had remembered something suddenly. 

She watches as he gathers up a handful of books and notes until they are practically bursting from his arms. He rushes off across the room as Rey watches with wide eyes, wondering what in the world he could be working on that has him this excitable. 

Before she can turn back and finish up, she freezes in shock when the doctor stops dead in his tracks just before he can pass over the threshold and march off through the hallway to wherever he’s going. 

He turns back toward her, looking her straight in the eye, not seeming at all surprised that she has already been staring at him. 

“You are free to take whatever you’d like,” he tells her. 

His tone is still slightly authoritative as it always is, but Rey feels something friendly behind it, something conversational. As if he were speaking to her just as a man, not her boss. 

“Whatever I’d like, sir?” she questions.

“The books,” he nods toward the tall shelves circling the study. “You may take some if you’d like.” 

She can’t help but continue to simply gaze at him, confused by his gesture. She had never noticed before how kind his eyes looked. Reassuring, especially as they stare back at her now. As if he were trying to tell her to not be afraid of him.   
She supposes that’s a useful trait for a doctor to have. 

“I’m sorry sir, but I… I don’t think I understand.” 

He shifts his feet, his eyes moving away from her, looking as if he doesn’t know if he wants to leave or stay. 

“I’ve seen you reading,” he tells her. “You read the same three books.”

“They’re the only ones I have-”

“I know. I’ve noticed you often take an interest in the books in here. You’re welcome to take any, if you wish.” 

She cocks her head at him, still looking back and forth in between him and the bookcase. 

“Are you well, sir?” she questions, stricken by this most unusual interaction. 

“Quite,” he nods, and a broad smile begins to crack through his lips, sending a bit of a shock through Rey. “I guess… I suppose you could say I’m about to make a most important breakthrough this evening.”

“With your research?” Rey questions, beginning to grin as well. “That’s lovely news, sir. I hope… I hope you are successful.”

“I will be,” he nods surely. “After all this time…”

He stops suddenly, as if remembering himself.

“I am grateful for your wishes. Good day.”

With that, he’s off, leaving her alone in the silent study, still holding the sopping wet rag in her hand as she tries desperately to piece together what had just transpired. 

Rey can’t fathom why Dr. Solo would ever bother noticing how many books she reads in her spare time. 

She’s embarrassed that he also noticed her sneaking in a page or two from the books in here, which would mean he had caught her neglecting her chores. 

Yet instead of scolding her, he offers her pick of any book in the study? 

Maybe he is simply in a generous mood after making this apparent leap in his research. 

Rey can honestly say she is not privy to how doctors and lawyers and bankers and all these high class people act. She hadn’t been brought up as they have, she has hardly spent time around them at all, unless it is to clean up after them. But this behavior from the doctor is certainly the most shocking thing she could have ever expected from someone like him, who has no reason to even take notice of someone like her.

Still, despite her reservations, Rey is happy to spend a small bit of time going through the giant selection of books, pulling out this one and that until she finds one she’s anxious to read.


	3. Transformation

Rey is the first one into bed tonight, the new book she’d gotten from the study open in her hands. It’s a fantasy of course. The three books she has poured over and over her entire life are all fantasies. Princesses, Kings, fairies, demons, and true love’s kiss. Rey figures the point of books is to help you to escape into an unrealistic world, yet a world you can become attached to all the same.

It’s been a while since she’s read one of her books in bed like this, and she hopes Rose doesn’t notice that this one is not one of her usual three. Rey isn’t sure how she could begin explaining how she’d gotten this new book from the doctor’s study. 

Thankfully, Rose is on another one of her rants tonight, this time going in on Hux’s impotence as a supervisor which Rey naturally concurs with. But tonight, her mind is on other things, things even beyond the young maiden in her book who is in the midst of stumbling upon a land of magic. 

Earlier today had reminded her of her one other interaction with Dr. Solo. The reason she continually tries to defend him whenever Rose suggests his cold ignorance. 

It had happened so long ago, maybe only barely a year after Rey had begun working here at the house. She had been spending evenings scrubbing the stone paths that decorate the back side of the house. 

Moving from the bright hot desert of Jakku to the dreary cloud-covered skies of D’Qar had been quite a shock for Rey that first year. But somehow, being alone in the backyard of the house, scrubbing those grey, dry, lifeless stones was the worst of it all. Looking at all the empty, colorless spaces made Rey long for just a splash of brightness. Something she could at least look forward to being around everyday if she was to be out here alone for two hours, scrubbing these pathways. 

So, she made a horribly bold move and went to town one Sunday, taking her bit of money she had saved up from her earnings, and purchased a handful of flower seeds to plant along the empty dirt patches that were sprinkled through the back of the house. 

At the time, she rationalized with herself that no one would notice. She never saw the doctor go out there, or anyone else really. And if they did, surely they wouldn’t take notice or offense to a few simple flowers along the house and the cobblestone walkways. 

And oh, did those small handfuls of daisies and violets ever brighten up her day. It was almost silly how excited she would get to get back out there every other evening, seeing how the little buds would grow and grow, defying the lack of sun. If one were simply passing by, they would think of them as poor excuses for flowers, but to Rey, they were a piece of her life that belonged to her. Something she could take care of on her own, without any interference from anyone. 

Being alone in this new place, it was certainly a great comfort. 

But of course, it did not last forever. 

Hux must have happened to have some business passing through the backyard, and his keen, beady little eyes of course spotted the tiny flowers Rey was trying to grow. 

He had called her out to the back immediately, demanding an explanation.

This wasn’t the first time Hux had berated her. That had happened in the first week of her employment. But this time seemed worse than all the others. Rey knew she had really messed up this time. What was she thinking, taking it upon herself to decorate someone else’s home with whatever she wanted? 

Certain that her foolishness would surely get her thrown out with nowhere to go, Rey had to wait out in the back after Hux had informed her he would be bringing the doctor out to inform him of the disgrace. 

Rey was fairly sure the doctor didn’t even know her name, let along that she worked for him, so it was quite an embarrassing and lengthy moment when her rat of a supervisor brought out the very confused and rather distracted looking doctor, showing him the line of puny little flowers Rey had been caring for all sitting limply along the back wall of the dull grey house. 

She had probably looked like a shivering deer about to be eaten by a lion when the doctor had looked over at the small group of white, blue, and purple flowers, and then back to her.

She had jumped when his intense eyes gazed right into hers, but she couldn’t figure out what he was thinking. Was he angry? Is he going to scold her? Fire her?

His expression seemed almost guarded, like he didn’t want to let anyone see whatever it was he was feeling.

He simply looked between her and the flowers a second more, before nodding in her direction.

“I’ll allow you an extra sum in your pay to continue planting these,” he had told her. “It will be your responsibility to care for the garden.” 

And with that, he had simply walked off, leaving Rey and Hux in quite a state of astonishment. 

From that day forward, Rey had tended and grew that very garden until it was flourishing with an assortment of healthy, colorful flowers. She spends every one of her Sundays surrounded by that brightened part of the house. 

She had spent quite a few days wondering why Dr. Solo would have done that for her. She eventually came to the conclusion that he is an impossibly busy man who probably didn’t want to waste the energy of chewing her out for planting a couple flowers. Easier to just tell her she could do whatever she wants. 

That’s the reason Rey has decided to give him the benefit of the doubt whenever Rose or any of the other employees suggests he’s a selfish, horrid, shrew. After that one interaction with him and the fact that his work truly is brilliant and has no doubt helped many people, she can’t believe he is an entirely ignorant person, despite his rather mysterious nature. 

Her exchange with Dr. Solo today makes her recall that interaction for the first time in a while. 

“I am sorry to say I must disagree with your assumptions,” Rey speaks softly once Rose has finished on her latest complaint, having begun to move off from Hux and back to the doctor. 

“Well I don’t understand why, it’s not as if he’s ever shown you any respect either-”

Rey and Rose both jolt, knocking the tiny bed slightly forward as they sit up straight, their hearts beating madly at the crash that had startled them.

“What in the world was that?” Rose gasps as they both sit still, waiting, until they hear yet another crash, and another.

“Where is it coming from?” Rey wonders aloud, seconds away from getting out of bed completely and going downstairs.

“It’s got to be outside, it would be louder if it were in the house. Right?”

Rose sounds as horrified as Rey feels. 

They both nearly jump into each other’s arms when a terrifying scream breaks out over the crashing. 

The screams are coming from a man, and they are pained, incredibly so, as if someone were slowly burning to death or having their life drained. 

“Good Lord,” Rose breathes in horror as Rey stands from the bed, taking only a few steps toward the door before stopping, hearing more commotion growing, thinking there must be others who hear it, others who will alert the authorities. 

“Rey, please, stay here,” Rose pleads, her voice encapsulating the fearfulness Rey feels for venturing out down where the terror seems to be taking place. “We should stay here, hide… someone will come…”

“But those screams,” Rey whispers, her breath coming in short pants of horror. “Rose, someone… someone may be…”

They both go silent as soon all the crashing goes silent. The screams have vanished as well, though now the dead silence seems even more chilling. 

It lasts so incredibly long, but it feels as if Rey has made a vow not to move an inch until she is sure everything is really alright and no one is being murdered in the night. 

Rey leaps out of her skin once again as one final clang reverberates through the house.

Rose jumps out of bed, stomping over to the window, looking more annoyed now than scared as Rey also glances to where she is looking, seeing that a bit of light is cascading along the dark streets, as if a door to a house nearby had been opened.

“Oh, for God’s sake!” Rose exclaims, throwing her hands up into the air frustratingly before turning on her heel and marching back to bed.

“What?” Rey demands, hopping over to the small window and desperately looking down into the seemingly empty town.

“It’s just a crazy drunk,” Rose huffs, collapsing back into bed. “I saw him, trashed bastard stumbling his way down the street, towards town. He looked as if someone had clobbered him over the head, the way he was dancing about.”

Rey peers closely through the glass, but can’t make out the figure Rose had seen. He must have gone down one of the dark streets, hidden from view of the house.

“Where do you suppose the light’s coming from?” Rey questions, seeing how close the source of light seems to be to the house. “It looks like it could be coming from the laboratory. Do you think someone has broken in again?”

“Probably,” Rose sighs, and Rey can tell she’s grown tired of the subject. “Pay it no mind, we deserve our sleep. Not to be scared out of our wits by a thoughtless drunkard.” 

Rey regretfully returns to bed, somewhat reassured now that there’s no more screaming and Rose seems sure of what she had seen.

But the feeling of uneasiness follows Rey into her sleep.

Rey is assigned to clean up in the kitchen the next morning. It’s not too bad, just putting away dishes, cleaning up after everyone who had made breakfast for this morning. 

“Hear that commotion last night?” Kaydel, one of the maids who works in the kitchens asks her as the two of them work on tidying up the counter where eggs, ham, bacon, and bread had been rigorously prepared an hour or so before.

“I was sure the entire household did,” Rey answers as she carries a handful of used dishes to the tub. “That racket could have woken the dead.” 

“What on Earth was going on?”

“Rose said she saw a drunk running out into the night,” Rey shrugs in reply. “He must have broken into the laboratory, you know like those boys did last year? That’s probably the noises we heard, he was raving mad with-”

“No no, I mean the sound coming from inside the house, around midnight,” Kaydel replies, looking shocked that Rey didn’t know what she was speaking of.

“This house?” Rey asks doubtfully. “I didn’t hear anything.”

“Perhaps you were asleep, it didn’t go on for very long. But… I don’t know, it sounded like someone was thrashing about in one of the upstairs rooms.”

Kaydel’s eyes suddenly narrow.

“Namely, the doctor’s room.”

Rey doesn’t reply to this, but her working slows as she takes in this new information. 

“Have you seen the doctor lately?” Kaydel asks now, sounding more eager to gossip about this matter rather than the events of last night. 

“I saw him yesterday,” Rey nods, happy that someone else has noticed. 

“He must be on the verge of another discovery,” Kaydel continues, giving a slight shake of her head as she scrubs her withered old brush against the wood of the opposite side of the gigantic table. “He always gets all frazzled and discreet like this just weeks before he’s made a new discovery.”

“He’s always behaved mysteriously,” Rey replies, careful to keep her voice low enough so that others will not overhear gossip about the master of the house. “I think perhaps sometimes he just becomes… I don’t know, obsessed with his work. I suppose you’d have to be a bit crazed about your practice to produce that sort of work.”

Kaydel seems to wait a moment as another servant rushes through the kitchen, stopping to return some trays to their proper place in the cabinet before walking off, leaving the two temporarily alone again.

“Well, this time seems different,” she whispers as she and Rey head over to the wash basin to clean out the rags and brush they’d used to clean off the counter. “He’s skipping entire meals, we haven’t had any guests at the house in days. And you know how he always manages to compose himself in a presentable manner, no matter what state his research is in.” 

Rey doesn’t say anything as she kneels next to Kaydel at the basin, ritually moving through the steps of washing out the dirtied rags. 

Rey had in fact noticed that Dr. Solo looked a bit disheveled in the past couple of days. His shirts wouldn’t be buttoned up all the way, his clothes looked as if he hadn’t changed them. Strands of his hair were out of place, and Rey hadn’t recalled a day when all his jet black hair wasn’t combed back down his head. 

She wonders if she should bring up what had happened in the study yesterday, but she really isn’t in the mood to explain all of that now as they’re on their knees cleaning rags. 

“We shouldn’t speak of him in such ways,” Rey insists, wishing they could just start discussing the weather or something. She’s almost positive Hux is snooping around somewhere and could overhear them at any moment. “He’s our employer and a renowned doctor.”

“Him being our employer gives us every right to be concerned about his mental state,” Kaydel argues. “Do you want to live in a house with an erratic man? His behavior can directly affect our wages, you know.”

Before Rey can dispute Kaydel’s claim of the doctor being an unstable madman who will cut everyone’s pay in his lunacy, the two are distracted when someone comes bustling into the kitchen, dropping a handful of items onto the floor and the counter, causing a sharp clang to ring through the air that makes Rey jump in fright. 

It takes Rey only a few seconds to recognize the man who had just burst in as the servant who usually takes breakfast up to Dr. Solo’s room every morning. 

She watches him with stunned curiosity as he quickly gathers up the cup and silverware he had dropped and shuffles over toward the sink to drop them all in.

He looks pale, his eyes are wide, and he keeps chewing on his lip, as if he had just seen something he’d rather not have. 

Kaydel looks at Rey, seeming almost excited by this occurrence, as if it proved what she had just been saying. Honestly, Rey isn’t too sure that it doesn’t. 

“You,” a loud voice suddenly cuts across the room, making Rey jump again, this time leaping up to her feet when she sees Hux standing at the side entrance of the kitchen, beady eyes staring daggers into her as she attempts to straighten herself out. 

“Yes, sir?” 

“Go up to the doctor’s chambers and start tidying everything up,” he directs, his expression the same, irritated glare that it always is, but maybe perhaps even more disgusted looking. “I expect you to be finished within the hour and continue on with your regular chores without delay.”

He turns and walks briskly out of the room, leaving Rey to gape after him, not wanting to turn and see what kind of look is on Kaydel’s face.

She does however catch the servant at the sink looking directly at her, that same expression on his face that makes it appear he has seen a ghost somewhere in the manor. 

Without saying a word to either of them, Rey sets her rag down beside the basin and heads straight out of the kitchen, down the hallway towards the main entrance room of the house, and up the large spiral staircase. 

She tries not to imagine scenarios that would explain what is going on, but it’s hard not to. It was highly unusual for her to have to go in and tidy up the bed before, and now having to tidy up the entire room? 

Rey is left first of all questioning why the doctor is suddenly in need of the servants cleaning in his personal quarters. What’s next, his laboratory? But secondly, she can’t possibly determine why on Earth she is the one chosen for this odd assignment. 

She supposes it is simply luck of the draw. 

Rey is slow to enter the doctor’s chambers, unsure if perhaps he is still in there, though it is unlikely. 

After quietly pushing open the door, Rey is greeted by the sight of a terribly ravaged bedroom. 

Ravaged doesn’t even seem to be the right description for it. It looks more like some sort of thunderstorm had wreaked havoc on the poor room and upturned every inch of the place, not one piece of furniture or scrap of paper left unscathed. 

Rey doesn’t know whether to be horrified at the sight of it all, or of the fact that she has to somehow get it all straightened up in less than an hour with no help. 

She decides to start with the bed, which has been completely taken apart, sheets blankets and pillows thrown all over every inch of the room. She even swears she can see scratches and small chunks taken out of the bedposts, but honestly, she could very well be making it worse than it is in her mind. It all looks like a terror in her eyes.

None of the bedding has been destroyed thankfully, but even after she has putten it all back together, Rey decides it would be best just to put an entirely new set on the bed and let all of these ones be washed. She knows she wouldn’t fancy sleeping in sheets that have been thrown to the floor and covered with a matter of debris from the bedroom. 

After the bed has been put back to a relatively normal state, she goes about turning all the tables, cabinets, and dressers back upright. There are even logs from the fireplace that seem to have found their way out onto the floor. 

The papers on the floor she tries not to study too hard, not wanting to intrude on any of the doctor’s personal work, but she begins to notice that they seem to be pages torn from books rather than papers covered with the doctor’s own scribbly handwriting. 

Rey isn’t exactly savvy on scientific terms and pictures, but she catches diagrams of a human brain on a few of the pages before setting them all in a neat pile on the bedside table. She isn’t sure if that is their place, but she remembers that is where he had a book placed the other day when she had come in to make the bed, so she assumes that is the most reasonable place for them for now. 

She wonders if she should also send all of his clothes down to be washed, but since it seems that every piece of clothing in his closet has been tossed to the floor, he would have no clothes to wear at all if she did that. Though, given the fact that he seems to be wearing the same clothes for a couple days in a row, Rey isn’t sure if that is a concern for him at the moment. 

So, she decides to just gather up the shirts and trousers that seem to have caught the most distress and send them down to the laundry room.

The last step is to go through and sweep up the floor, dust the furniture, and make sure everything is organized efficiently, though since no one is usually allowed in to this part of the house, it’s difficult for her to determine how everything is normally placed. She spends nearly ten minutes going back and forth between placing the oil lamp on the left and right side of the round table beside the window, since she can’t remember where it was placed the last time she was in here.

She has finished her abnormal assignment within the time frame, and she is thankfully only a few minutes behind on her next chore, which is to sweep and dust in the dining room, though it is impossible to properly focus her mind on such a task given all the excitement that has happened in the last twenty four hours.

Rey avoids everyone as much as she can for the rest of the day. She prays rumors haven’t started to circulate about her being asked to tidy in the doctor’s chambers twice now. She assumes people musn’t know, because no one comes up to her and inquires about it. But she can tell everyone must know something is amiss. There is an odd buzz in the air, but not the eager or excited kind. More the sense that everyone is waiting for something crazy to happen. Like a calm before a storm, but no one really is sure what storm they should be expecting.

Dr. Solo has never done anything rash before, at least that anyone has seen. Lord only knows what goes on in that laboratory. When he gets into a fix like this, it usually lasts a couple weeks, and soon enough there are hoards of other doctors and professors coming in and out of the house day and night, listening in on whatever amazing new cure he has found for something. 

This time just feels… odd.

Which is why the entire staff is bubbling anxiously once they are all called into the dining room that evening with news that the doctor has an announcement to make. 

Rey tries to hide herself in the back as everyone stands in ordered lines once they’ve stepped into the dining room. Dr. Solo is standing in front of the long dining table, looking like his usual self, at least. 

Hux is of course standing beside him, his expression showing that he thinks he looks pretty important standing there. 

“I don’t wish to keep you all long,” the doctor begins as Rey’s attention is suddenly locked at the seriousness of his voice. She had gotten too used to the softer tone he had used with her yesterday, she’d nearly forgotten what he sounded like when he put on this professional boss-like voice. 

“I’m sure you’ve noticed I have begun to become very involved in my next line of research,” he continues as the two lines of workers stand and listen intently. 

His hands clasp behind his back, and his eyes seem to glance at the ground briefly, riddled with concern, and Rey wonders if he is simply struggling with how to say what he wants to say, or if it’s something else that is on his mind. 

“I can safely say my studies are becoming more serious, and I plan to perform multiple experiments that will require outside help. Therefore, I will be calling on an old colleague of mine to assist me. He will be staying in the laboratory, and will be aiding me in this research until further notice.” 

There is a silent murmur through the staff, as if they want to whisper amongst one another, but limit themselves to simply turning their heads and glancing briefly to each other. 

“His name is Kylo Ren,” Dr. Solo announces. “I can’t tell you the exact moment he will be arriving, but it will certainly be in the next few days. You may or may not have any encounter with him, so keep in mind that he is my guest and shall be treated as such. That is all.”

The servants begin to disperse immediately, all shuffling out the double glass doors that lead back out into the entrance room and off to wherever they have been assigned for the evening. 

Rey is the last one out of the room, still trying to keep herself hidden among a handful of other bodies, but sneaking a long glance back at the doctor. 

She sees now, as she studies his eyes that are back to staring off into nothing, that he might not be as put together as he appears. 

His eyes look slightly frazzled, matching his appearance the last couple of days, and there’s something else behind his stare as well. Something that looks spooked. 

Something feels so terribly wrong. That hopeful look that was in his eyes yesterday is gone, replaced by a look so despairing, it troubles her greatly. 

As if feeling her stare, his eyes suddenly crawl right towards her, catching her gaze with his for just a second before she snaps her head forward and follows the others out of the room.


	4. Possessed

Rey isn’t sure if she is supposed to make much of the news of Dr. Solo’s new assistant. He’s never taken an assistant before, at least never one who had stayed with them long term like this. She doesn’t expect to have much interaction with him since she never has much interaction with any of the doctor’s associates. 

Truthfully, Rey had foolishly wished for a far more detailed explanation last night from the doctor, though she’s not sure why she would expect something like that from a man that has always refused to let even those in his own home know about what he is working on until it is all but finished. But perhaps she had hoped for some level of reassurance that everything was alright with him, and therefore, everything will continue as normal in the house. 

She isn’t quite sure what disturbs her so much about the prospect of going into the doctor’s chambers, but perhaps she feels slightly awkward about such a task when it was made clear to her from her very first day working here that Dr. Solo preferred no one to intrude upon his personal space. 

Thankfully, this morning, no one seems to be talking about the matter much anymore, as if the news of an assistant and the admittance that he is indeed in the midst of something brilliant, was enough to settle everyone about the doctor’s strange attitude. 

Rey is grateful to go about her morning’s chores without being bothered by any gossip of the doctor. Or gossip of any kind, really. She certainly prefers to go about her duties quietly, mostly because, having never been brought up and taught proper social behavior, she finds herself nervous around others, even those who she has spent a number of months with now. 

In fact, she nearly stumbles right into someone while simply trying to carry in wood from the shed. 

“I’m so sorry,” she mumbles, keeping her eyes down, her arms still gripping around the logs of wood. 

She begins to walk on, but whoever she had almost toppled over suddenly reaches out and two large hands lock over arms, stopping her in her tracks.

Rey now looks up at whoever has grabbed her in such a way, her heart racing slightly in fear, and then in shock when she looks directly into the eyes of her employer.

She had never been so near Dr. Solo before, but he seems all the more intense and rather intimidating up close. Rey feels small as he grips her arms in his strong hands and looks down at her with those soft colored eyes that stare sharply into hers, making her freeze.

“I was looking for you,” he speaks, his hands releasing her as she wobbles slightly on her feet. 

“I… sir, I’m sorry… I didn’t-”

“It’s alright,” he shakes his head. “Rey, correct?”

She just nods, now beginning to wonder if she perhaps did something wrong re-organizing his bedroom. 

“Could you follow me into my office?” he asks, already stepping away and heading in the direction of the east hallway, where his office would be. 

He glances back at her as she slowly starts following him, already planning her apology in her head for whatever it is she’s done. 

“You may put those away first,” he suggests, and she can swear she sees a hint of a grin on his lips. 

Rey stares down at the logs still cradled in her arms and quickly turns and shuffles off to the living room, her face turning a bit red. 

After she’s put the firewood in its proper place, she follows behind Dr. Solo down the east hallway into his office.

This is a part of the house Rey has hardly been assigned to in her time here. It’s quite smaller than anywhere else, although she wonders if she simply feels small with being so close to the doctor alone. He really does tower over most. 

His office is also a lot smaller than she expected. There is nothing but a desk, a shelf filled with books and notes, and a small table with a lamp by the window that overlooks the back of the house. 

He steps behind the desk, sitting at the chair behind it as she stares at him, her hands wringing together. 

“You may have a seat,” he offers, gesturing to the chair in front of his desk. 

She plops down in the chair, clumsily trying to properly adjust her legs and her posture. 

Rey prepares for him to begin his beratement, keeping her focus down at her feet, but she looks back up at him after a few seconds pass and he doesn’t say anything. 

Immediately, she feels an awfully strong tension in the air as they both momentarily sit in silence, each one looking incredibly awkward, as if they don’t know what to do next. 

“Have you… chosen a book from the library?” he asks her, his tone sounding a bit odd, like he doesn’t know how he wants his voice to sound. 

She blinks at him, once again completely thrown off by his words. 

“I did,” she answers, her voice much more timid than she intended it to be.

He nods, his eyes looking anywhere else but at her. He seems… nervous? 

“Have you been enjoying it?” 

She doesn’t hide her confusion this time, nodding slowly as her eyes narrow questioningly. 

“Very much. Thank you, it was kind of you, sir.” 

He just nods silently again, his eyes now staring down at the desk, a flicker of irritation going through them. 

“Of course,” he answers, opening a drawer from the desk and grabbing something from it. “I’m glad you are appreciating it. There are plenty of books here that are left unread, so you may continue to take whatever you please.” 

He stands up from his desk, walking around to the front as Rey focuses her eyes on the item he had gotten from the drawer that looks to be some kind of letter. 

“If you wouldn’t mind Rey, I have a favor to ask of you.” 

She sits up straighter, her eyes still on the letter in his hand. 

“I’m afraid I will be indisposed for most of the day greeting Mr. Ren and getting him adjusted to his living quarters. I need this letter to be delivered today to a businessman across town, Mr. Snoke. He is currently funding my research and this letter contains some vital information that I need someone honest to trust with it.”

She stares up at him, her mouth slightly agape as she wonders how on Earth he decided that she was the most trustworthy of his staff. 

“You’d be excused from your duties for the next hour, of course,” he asserts, holding the letter out towards her. 

Rey swallows down her nerves, nodding her head and reaching out to accept the letter. 

“Of course, I’d be…”

She stops after her fingers have grasped the envelope, but the doctor’s hand suddenly closes around her wrist. 

He’s gentle as he pulls her arm towards him, turning it slightly as he stares at something on her upper arm. 

The half circle shaped red mark that covers about three inches of the skin on her arm that she usually keeps covered, is suddenly peeking out from behind the scathed white fabric of her sleeve. 

“What’s this?” he asks, reaching up to push her sleeve back further, still holding her wrist in one hand. 

She wants to flinch away at first until she looks at how closely his eyes seem to be studying the mark on her arm, his fingers slowly brushing across it as if he were analyzing some ancient artifact. 

Never in a million years would she think she would feel anything but disgusted by anyone looking at this scar that will be with her for the rest of her life, but the way he holds her is almost reassuring.

“It’s nothing,” she shakes her head, trying to pull away. 

“It looks like you were burned,” he deduces, looking over the red marks permanently embedded into her skin. “How old is this?”

“It’s… I’ve had it awhile,” she answers, still hoping to deflect his curiosity, but he persists.

“Have you done anything to treat it? It looks like it wasn’t properly tended to.” 

His eyes look up at her now, searching for an explanation. 

Rey feels a flush of self consciousness. She hasn’t spoken of this to anyone in her life, and for good reason. It isn’t exactly an attractive fact of her personal life. 

But this is a doctor. Perhaps this is something he is curious about for his research. Something he could use to help prevent it from happening to anyone else.

“It wasn’t treated,” she answers him, looking down at the horrid mark. “It wasn’t meant to be treated. It was given intentionally.” 

He doesn’t say anything, so she assumes he wants her to continue. 

“I got it when I was a teenager. I’m sorry, I don’t know… I don’t know how old I was, exactly.”

The doctor’s eyes seem to study her face now, as if he’s clinging onto her every word. 

“Where did it come from?” he asks, his voice quieter. 

“It’s a brand, sir,” Rey answers, trying to ignore her reservations. This is something she would rather not reveal about herself to anyone. “It was… I’m sorry, I don’t know, some sort of iron tool. I can’t quite remember.” 

It’s silent now, and Rey avoids the doctor’s gaze, cringing internally, wondering if perhaps she had gotten too personal with the details. 

She waits for him to ask more questions about the scar, but she is quite surprised at what he chooses to ask instead.

“Are you alright?” 

His voice is soft, even more so than it usually is when he’s speaking quietly. Almost tender, as if he is trying to comfort her. 

Her first thought is, why would he care? It’s been years since the incident and, thanks to him accepting her into the house, she’s not in any danger of it happening again. 

But when she finally looks at him directly, she is overwhelmed by the concern in his eyes. Not with the mark on her arm, but with her. As if wondering if she is still in pain.

“I’m quite alright, sir,” she answers confidently, letting her arm fall away from his grasp and reaching up to tug her sleeve back down. “And I would be obliged to deliver your letter.”

He blinks, his expression slowly changing back to what it was before.

“Oh… yes, of course,” he clears his throat, suddenly looking more assertive, his hands moving to his hips. “I am grateful for your help.”

Rey allows a sliver of a smile to escape her as she bows her head.

“You will find Mr. Snoke’s office across town between the book shop and the realtor office,” he directs, moving toward the door to open it for her. “I trust you will allow no one to handle the letter but yourself until you deliver it directly into Snoke’s hands. You needn't worry about rushing, but I would appreciate it if you could leave as soon as you can.”

Rey is able to change into her torn brown fabric dress she wears when she’s not working and throw a shawl on before rushing off toward the front door, but not before being stopped by Hux, who seems to sweep in out of nowhere as always, blocking her path just before she can step into the entrance room. 

“And where on Earth do you think you are going?” he asks, looking completely appalled at her appearance and the fact that she isn’t bringing in wood for the fireplace. “Do you think this is your house? That you can just choose to attend to your duties whenever you please, and go galavanting off when it suits your fancy?”

“The doctor’s asked me to deliver a letter,” she answers, her eyes wide with fear as she innocently holds up the envelope she’d been given. “You can ask him yourself, he’s dismissed me from my chores for the next hour.” 

It’s deathly quiet as Hux sneers down at her before moving his gaze toward the letter. 

He looks like he could strangle her when she pulls her hand away once he reaches for the envelope.

“The doctor made it perfectly clear no one else is to handle the letter but me,” Rey speaks, flinching as she does in preparation for the reaction this will provoke from Hux. 

If there is one thing he hates more than people not doing as he asks of him, it’s someone being in a higher position than he is. And at this moment, Rey is exactly that. 

The look he gives her makes her think that fire is about to shoot from his eyes. She even sees him shaking slightly as he lowers his hand before taking a breath to calm himself down. 

Rey expects him to march her straight to Dr. Solo’s office, eager to try and prove that she is lying. 

But he says nothing. He simply takes his gaze off her and walks right past her, as if he hadn’t even seen her. 

Rey doesn’t waste another moment before walking straight off towards the front door.

She has been to town many times, usually because she is tired of being around the house and wants to simply be surrounded by different scenery on her Sundays off. She’s only been specifically sent out for something perhaps a handful of times in her few years working at the house, but she knows her way around fairly well. 

However, this particular area of town she finds herself in today, is one she despises.

She’s only visited here once after accidentally coming upon it when she was first exploring the area, and vowed to never return again. Most parts of town are quite normal, filled with normal people going about their daily business, paying each other no mind. But this part, where Mr. Snoke’s office seems to be, is a strange pocket of dark buildings and seedy streets that are filled with minimal people, as if the town had suddenly cut off into a graveyard-like atmosphere where the only humans milling about are mere ghosts.

Rey is careful to keep her eyes strictly on the ground, desperate not to come upon any trouble by looking someone in the eye who is surely up to no good. 

The book shop and realtor office that sit on either side of the building she is headed for don’t look as if they see much business. The doors are firmly shut and the windows darkened, as if there isn’t a soul inside.

Snoke’s office however looks to have a few dim lights coming from inside that at least give Rey a sliver of reassurance. 

The rest of the exterior of the office doesn’t look nearly as comforting.

The building looms like an ominous shadow, sitting there crookedly beside the street. An equally shadowy and crooked sign just out from above the single glass window, creaking lightly as if it has hung for centuries. 

_First Order Scientific and Health Foundation _it reads, the dark black letters barely legible.__

__Rey thinks the sign hanging here to be somewhat amusing since there is nothing scientific or healthy looking about this place._ _

__She takes a calming breath as she walks up to the office, clutching her shawl and the letter in one hand as she reaches out to open the rattling door, repeating to herself a few times that she is simply here to deliver a letter and will proceed to leave immediately. She realizes now that she really has no business being here._ _

__It’s thankfully not as quiet as it is outside within the office. There are quite a number of employees milling about the room, which is much larger than one would have guessed from looking in from the outside._ _

__A few of them pause and stare at her as if she were an animal that had accidentally wandered in. She’s not surprised, given her appearance, it’s obvious she hasn’t money or status enough to even be in here._ _

__She walks up to the desk closest to her where a small, meek looking man with shiny slicked back hair sits, working away at a pile of papers._ _

__“Excuse me,” she asks softly, doing her best to act as lady-like as possible. “I was sent to deliver something to Mr. Snoke.”_ _

__The man looks confused at first, and Rey worries that perhaps this Snoke person isn’t even here and she’ll have to return at a later date._ _

__“And… who has sent you, miss?” he questions, looking her over now as if she were a speck of dust that had flown onto his desk._ _

__Rey bites her tongue as she starts to become annoyed, but keeps her composure._ _

__“Dr. Ben Solo wishes this to be delivered to him,” she speaks, raising her hand out of her shawl to hold up the letter. “I have strict instructions to deliver it into his hands only.”_ _

__The man suddenly has a new disposition after hearing Dr. Solo’s name mentioned, and he finally nods before standing from his desk._ _

__“Of course, forgive me, ma’am,” he bows his head slightly, something Rey can’t recall anyone ever doing for her. “If you will follow me, just this way…”_ _

__She trails behind the man as he walks briskly past rows of other desks filled with people at work, some of them turning their heads to stare off at the two people walking by. Rey tries not to stare back in return, but she’s never really been in a place like this before, so it’s quite difficult not to get distracted by trying to see what they are all jotting down or typing away at on their typewriters. Rey had never even touched a typewriter before in her life._ _

She and the man eventually arrive at, what looks to be a small room at the back of the office. Rey glances at a small sign in the window covered by shades that reads _Personal Office of Mr. S. Snoke._

______The man seems to take a nervous gulp before gently rapping his knuckles against the heavy wooden door._ _ _ _ _ _

____It swings open after a few moments, and a tall, slender looking figure fills up the doorway._ _ _ _

____If Rey had thought Hux resembles a snake, this man certainly takes that top position hands down._ _ _ _

____“Mr. Snoke,” the man speaks quietly as Rey tries not to stare at the chilling man. “This woman claims to have a letter from Dr. Ben Solo. I’m assuming you’ll want to-”_ _ _ _

____“Leave us,” the man suddenly speaks in a voice that feels like an ice cold hand wrapping around Rey’s spine. He turns, walking back into his office but leaving the door open as the other man steps aside, giving her a pointed look before walking back off to his desk. “You may enter, my dear.”_ _ _ _

____Rey is hesitant as she steps into the dark office that immediately makes her feel like she has to wrap her arms around herself, especially when she hears the door fall closed behind her._ _ _ _

____The man slithers over toward his desk while Rey hangs back by the door, already hating the feeling of being alone in a darkened space with him._ _ _ _

____“So Ben Solo has sent you,” he begins, turning back towards her, his eyes glinting while his lips spread into an eerie smile. “I’m assuming you’re a servant in his household.”_ _ _ _

____“I am,” Rey nods, trying to keep her eyes anywhere but on him. “He asked me to deliver this to you as soon as possible.”_ _ _ _

____She holds out the letter to him, still not looking him in the eye._ _ _ _

____He walks forward slowly, and she can feel his serpentine eyes on her as he reaches forward and takes the envelope from her hand. His skin looks rotted away, almost as if it were a skeleton standing across from her._ _ _ _

____She slowly looks up to see him now focused on the letter, tearing the envelope open and pulling out a single piece of paper that he begins to look over._ _ _ _

____Rey backs away until she’s practically up against the door, reaching back to grasp the handle, hoping to make a swift and silent exit while the man is distracted._ _ _ _

____“Are you close to him?” Snoke grins, his eyes slowly crawling back toward her as her blood freezes when she tries twisting the handle to find it locked._ _ _ _

____“Close to him?” she questions, trying to keep her tone and her mannar as neutral as possible. “I’m not sure what you mean sir, I’m just… I just work for him.”_ _ _ _

____He moves closer to her as she speaks, looking at her in a way that makes her want to retch._ _ _ _

“I need you to let the good doctor know,” he speaks, staring at her as if she were something to eat, “that he will have to pay up _generously _for what I have done for him this time.”__

________Rey narrows her eyes at him in confusion._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______“What you’ve done for him?” she asks, noticing that he has moved close enough to her that there’s little to no way for her to step away from him._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Wouldn’t you like to know,” he speaks, his eyes still crawling over her, though Rey’s mind is suddenly pulled to the mystery in his tone._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I know you are funding his research,” she tells him. “Whatever he’s working on… it’s something affecting him. I mean more than usual. Something seems… different.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Are you suggesting I have something to do with that?” he chuckles darkly._ _ _ _ _ _

______She reels away in horror when his ice cold, bony hand suddenly reaches up to curl against the side of her face._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Have you come here as his little spy?” he asks her, his other hand moving to paw at her chest._ _ _ _ _ _

______Rey uses both hands to shove as hard as she can against his chest, but he only stumbles back a couple steps, still with that horrid smile on his face, as if her reaction had merely amused him._ _ _ _ _ _

______She turns toward the door, tugging at the unmoving door handle, her heart beginning to race._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I’m meant to be back within the hour,” she explains quickly, turning back and attempting to put a confident look on her face. “The doctor will be incredibly angry if I don’t return and finish my chores.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Snoke simply smirks back at her and walks closer to her again._ _ _ _ _ _

______“He knows I’m here,” Rey continues, pressing herself against the door and wondering how she will be able to fight this man off when she’s never had to fight off anyone like this before. “And my supervisor knows as well, they know I wouldn’t have gone anywhere else-”_ _ _ _ _ _

______She jumps away when he leans forward, but his skeletal hand instead reaches toward the doorknob, unlatching some weird lock that had fallen shut above it that Rey hadn’t even seen._ _ _ _ _ _

______She curses herself, knowing she could have gotten out of here sooner._ _ _ _ _ _

______Pushing past him, she runs back out into the main office, not caring that everyone is now staring at her as she makes a break for the door, and doesn’t stop running until she is outside and that seedy, haunted, miserable part of town is behind her._ _ _ _ _ _


	5. Alive

By the time she returns to the house, Rey has had enough time to become more than irritated with Dr. Solo. Her anger and disgust with that revolting Snoke person easily transitioned into outrage that the doctor would even send her over there in the first place. 

She isn’t sure if it’s some sort of sickening joke, or if perhaps the doctor really is that ignorant that he would send her to such a place and to such a nauseating man. 

Once she is safely back inside and is about to go marching off to the servant’s quarters to change, she is determined to completely ignore the doctor when she sees him coming out of the laboratory and heading back toward the house. 

He of course must see her through the window, so he comes rushing off after her eagerly.

“Has the letter been delivered?” he calls after her as she tries marching up the hidden staircase that leads up to her rooms. 

She stops halfway up the steps, grimacing in anger, but knowing that berating her employer won’t have desirable consequences.

Turning on her heel, she stares as blankly as she can at Dr. Solo, who looks ready to follow her right up the stairs into her rooms, desperate to hear her report. 

“I followed your instructions just as you have requested,” Rey tells him, her shortened temper coming out in her tone. “He asked me to tell you that you owe him significantly for what he has done for you this time.” 

His brow furrows in confusion, either at her attitude or the message she has relayed to him. 

He looks as if he’s about to say something else, but Rey doesn’t waste another second.

Before he can question her further, she turns and ascends the remaining stairs as briskly as she can, leaving the doctor standing at the foot of the staircase behind her.

Rey goes through the rest of her daily routine almost mechanically, not paying the slightest bit of attention to whatever it is she does, instead completely enraptured by her thoughts. 

She’s confused by the excitable events that have taken place in the past few days, most of which involved her directly, something that has never happened for as long as she can remember. A part of her was a bit thrilled at first, but now she’s beginning to prefer blending in with the wallpaper while watching everything else happen without her. 

Eventually, she begins to wonder if perhaps she has been wrong all this time. Is the doctor a cruel, distant man? Had he sent her to Snoke out of contempt for her, or has he no consideration for anyone at all? 

She thinks of what he did for her with the garden, the books, and finally the brand on her arm. How the look he gave her earlier was out of genuine worry for her, when it should have been simple curiosity about the scar itself. 

By the time Rey has washed up for the night and prepares for bed, she begins to rationalize in her mind that Dr. Solo could never have sent her to Snoke with the intention of hurting or scaring her. Perhaps he has never even met Snoke. It’s quite possible they’ve only ever spoken through letters. Rey is certain that a person as evil and conniving as Snoke could certainly have no problem coming across cordial in a letter. 

She lies awake in bed for hours, long after Rose is fast asleep beside her, going back and forth in her head. Is the doctor’s strange behavior towards her simply a side effect of this phase he goes through whenever he begins to get deep in his research like this? Why is he suddenly so interested in her when he surely hasn’t even been familiar with her name in all the time she’s been here?

And why does she care so much?

When Rey’s eyes open the next morning after feeling Rose shuffling around to get out of bed, she breathes a quiet sigh of relief. 

_Sunday. ___

__Rey certainly isn’t one to mind all the early hours and the non stop flow of chores. Whatever it takes to allow her to continue to live comfortably with a roof over her head, she will gladly oblige._ _

__Still, it is quite a beautiful feeling to have this one day every week that is almost entirely her own._ _

__Technically, she could just lie here in bed all day if she wished. There have been many Sundays when she had deeply considered the option. But of course, she could never go through with laying immobile in a bed all hours of the day._ _

__Despite the lack of sun in D’Qar, Rey is still happiest when she is at least outside in the fresh air._ _

__So, she does roll out of bed a good number of hours later than usual, and eventually dresses in her brown dress she wears every Sunday, the only other clothes she owns aside from her two maids outfits, and pins her hair into an easy low bun, rather than the strict three buns she wears it in while working._ _

__She takes the book she’d gotten from the study out into the garden in the back, sitting in her same old spot against the wall, surrounded by a luscious, pillowy assortment of bright green grass and every color flower one can think of._ _

__Reading and working in the garden consumes most of her Sundays when she’s not going into town. After what happened yesterday, Rey isn’t exactly jumping to head right back into town at the moment. Actually, after the events of the whole week, it would be nice to have a normal day off._ _

__Seeing as she is the only one who tends to this garden, she’s come to think of it as her own. In all honesty, she is probably the only one who cares about it, and that’s perfectly fine with her. She’s sure that Hux probably despises how much it has flourished and how she continues to care for it to this day. Rey gets the feeling he probably hates anything to do with happiness or bright colors, so this colorful patch of flowers and grass is no doubt horrifying for him to look at, all the more so because he had been adamant about getting her punished for it, only to have it backfire in his pinched up face._ _

__Sometimes, she swears she can feel eyes on her while she’s out here, reading or tending to the flowers, and she knows it’s Hux, plotting some way to take this away from her._ _

__If that’s the case, she will fight tooth and nail against him, even if it does get her thrown out of the house without a job._ _

__By the grace of God, the day finally goes by smoothly. No gossip about the doctor, no destroyed bedrooms, no mortifying run-ins with Hux. Just a normal, relaxing day off. Rey is even able to finish her book, though she is a bit reluctant about going back into the study and retrieving another one. She might not be on such good terms with Dr. Solo at this point after pretty much dismissing herself from her report to him yesterday._ _

__She almost makes it all the way through the night with it being a completely normal and peaceful Sunday. But it seems that, once again, it was not meant to be._ _

__Rey had just dozed off into a blissful sleep, ready to be well rested for the next week lying ahead, when she is harshly jerked back into consciousness with the hair-raising sound of a woman’s scream piercing sharply somewhere from outside, but echoing in through the small glass window of the bedroom._ _

__Rey is upright immediately, any tiredness completely shocked away as she gazes towards the window where the frightful sound had come from._ _

__“What are you doing?” Rose asks sleepily, turning over at Rey’s sudden movement that had jostled her out of sleep._ _

__“What was that?” Rey whispers, her voice laced with horror as her ears strain to hear something else, another scream from the woman or people shouting and trying to help her. But there is nothing._ _

__“What are you talking about?” Rose asks, sighing discontentedly. “C’mon, go back to sleep, you’re just dreaming.”_ _

__WIthout another word, Rose slumps back over, having no trouble closing her eyes and acting as if nothing had happened at all._ _

__“Didn’t you hear it?” Rey asks desperately, positive that the sound she had heard hadn’t come from her own mind._ _

__Rose just grunts in annoyance, obviously trying to get back to sleep._ _

__Rey looks back toward the window, her blood still cold from the sound of the scream that had shrieked out from somewhere in the night._ _

__After sitting absolutely still for what has to be at least five minutes, she creeps silently out of bed, walking over to the window to look down into the streets that surround the house._ _

__Though she stares for some time, she doesn’t detect a single bit of movement._ _

__The rational part of her mind tells her she probably did just have some sort of nightmare, and there couldn’t possibly be anything wrong because obviously, no one else heard a blood curdling scream, or else everyone in the house and the area would be rushing out of bed to see what is going on._ _

__But in the back of her mind, Rey remembers when she was just a girl, frightened to death whenever Unkar Plutt had beat or cut her. She had screamed too, so bad that her lungs nearly gave out, and no one cared then. She had prayed for the day someone would finally come out of their house or look over their shoulder and help her._ _

__This woman could be praying the same way if she is being hurt._ _

__Just when Rey is about to turn and run down the stairs, prepared to run out into the night, she sees something._ _

__Jerking movement, through the streets. An animal, she thinks it must be at first. But as she peers closer, her eyes nearer to the glass, she sees it is a figure walking on two legs. More like bounding, flying on two legs._ _

__Whatever it is seems to be relishing something with its movement, as if intent on taking in each stride, as if it were a man who had been imprisoned for years, finally released, free to roam about how he chooses._ _

__But the way it moves… it looks so horrifying from so far away, down in the streets, leaping, barreling past this building and that._ _

__Did this thing harm that woman who screamed?_ _

__Without putting anymore thought to it, Rey grabs her shawl, and quickly sneaks out of the servant’s quarters and heads downstairs into the house._ _

__It’s as silent as a tomb down here, so obviously everyone is still in bed, completely undisturbed. She has to be careful not to make a sound as she tries making her way to the back door, the only light coming from the moonlight shining through the thin curtains of the windows._ _

__Once she’s out in the back, she gazes around, still listening intently for even the slightest breath of wind._ _

__She contemplates calling out to whoever had screamed, but realizes that might not be such a good idea if this woman does indeed have an attacker who is prowling around close by._ _

__Just as she’s about to circle back to the front of the house and look around there, she nearly jumps out of her skin when she hears a distant crashing noise, as if something heavy had gotten knocked over._ _

__She turns her head in the direction the noise came from, completely frozen in place. She doesn’t hear any screaming or voices, but she does eventually hear more crashing, though less violent than the first one._ _

__Rey begins walking off toward the side of the house where the noises are coming from, knowing that is where the laboratory is._ _

__When she finally rounds the corner and takes in the small structure, it is confirmed that is where the racket is originating._ _

__She starts to feel a bit weary getting closer to the windows that show many odd shadows through the light coming from inside. She worries it could be an intruder, some thief who had broken in to steal something from the doctor’s work. Perhaps it is the same assailant who had attacked the woman and made her scream before moving on to the doctor’s laboratory._ _

__But Rey then thinks of Dr. Solo. The impossibly late nights he spends in the laboratory whenever he’s deep in his research, as he obviously has been lately. What if he is being attacked?_ _

__If he is being hurt, running to get help might take too long. She could scare the attacker off, or at least distract him enough for the doctor to escape, or get the upper hand._ _

__Against her better judgement, Rey creeps closer to the smudged windows, having to lean down to get a proper vantage point, since the laboratory was built to be slightly below ground level._ _

__The windows of course were chosen for the laboratory because they are so hard to see through, but Rey is just able to make out the outline of someone moving inside._ _

__She leans closer up to the window, huddling closer until her nose is practically touching against the cold glass._ _

__There seems to be only one figure moving around inside. The silhouette is completely black, as if the person inside isn’t a person at all, but a shadow. Or something even darker than a shadow._ _

__She can’t make out what he’s doing because he’s moving in such rapid ways about the room, as if in a crazed excitement._ _

__In fact, the longer Rey watches the figure, the more disturbed she becomes._ _

__The silhouette looks to be jerking around grotesquely, as if it were inhuman. An animal. A creature._ _

__The figure she had seen in the streets, just moments ago._ _

__She wants to turn away and run back to her room, get into bed and pretend she never heard anything, or she never woke up in the first place._ _

__Suddenly she remembers what the doctor had told her yesterday. Why he had to have her take the letter to Snoke._ _

__The only person who would be in the laboratory at this hour, the only other one who is allowed in, would be the doctor’s new assistant._ _

__Just as she remembers this, she sees the figure jerk sharply and stop._ _

__She squints at it, wondering why it has frozen so suddenly. But she feels her heart nearly stop in her chest and her breath catch in her throat when she realizes the figure is staring directly at her._ _

__As if a river of adrenaline had been shot into her, she jumps up, gasping in horror as she sees the figure begin to move toward the door._ _

__She runs all the way back to the door she came out from, feeling a horrid grip of fear seizing every inch of her body as she hears the laboratory door swing open and footsteps sounding as if they are marching across the yard._ _

__Rey preys she is only in a terrible dream, the ones she has when she knows she has to run away from something, but her body only seems to grow heavier and heavier until she can hardly run anymore._ _

__She doesn’t think, just runs wherever she can, not even seeing where she’s going. She runs all about the house, wanting to scream when she hears the back door opening again, and the footsteps thumping against the wooden floor._ _

__Rey feels as if she runs through a maze of rooms, an endless dimension of dark places filled with tall, shadowy objects._ _

__She reaches her hands out until they fall onto some kind of table that she throws herself under before curling herself into as small a ball as she can, hoping that whatever it is that’s chasing her didn’t hear her come into this room, that she expects is the study, but she honestly doesn’t have the capability to decipher._ _

__The footsteps are distant at first, and Rey thinks that they will eventually fade away once the person or thing thinks he’s lost her._ _

__But the footsteps inch closer and closer, getting louder as they start walking down the hall she must have come down._ _

__A part of her wants to hide her face in her hands, but she is petrified as she keeps her eyes straight ahead in the direction of the doorway, where she can only see as much as the dim light coming through the windows allows._ _

__Some darkly humorous part of her is glad when she remembers how well she washed those windows the other day which is why so much moonlight is able to shine through now._ _

__She waits, shaking slightly as she holds her breath, watching as the figure slowly steps around the room, almost with deliberate slowness, reminding her of a parent playing hide and seek with a child, knowing full well where the child is hiding, but simply playing around to tease them._ _

__The thought makes her shrink into herself even more as her body shivers in fright._ _

__The footsteps continue across the room, around the table until they fade away from Rey’s sight. They eventually fade from her hearing as well, pausing quite abruptly as her heart leaps in fear._ _

__Just as she’s wondering how long she will have to stay crouched and unmoving like this before the figure leaves the room, an arm reaches right under the table, a hand grabbing her upper arm with a firm, unyielding grip._ _

__Rey hardly has time to even let out a shriek before she is yanked out from under the table, thinking of a million ways to beg for her life as she is held up against the wall, feeling the warmth of someone or something standing close in front of her, like a wolf that had just pounced on its prey._ _

__A small light flickers on from one of the stands near the bookshelf, casting a shadowy illumination as Rey sees the figure reaching over to light the lamp beside them._ _

__The man’s eyes are the first things that she sees. They look almost completely black, like anything warm or happy had been sucked out of them. They ring with a delicious evilness as he looks her over, enjoying the fear he is inflicting._ _

__Long, mangled black hair surrounds his head, looking as if it hasn’t been brushed or trimmed in years. His face holds a pattern of long, thin scars that run down in a way that makes it look as if some animal had clawed right along his face._ _

__But behind the mess of jet black hair and scars, what strikes Rey as the most alarming aspect about this stranger is that she swears, just for a second, that she can make out the face of Ben Solo himself._ _

__She knows it must be a trick of the light, the shadows framing him in just the right way perhaps. Because the man standing before her and holding her against the wall is anyone but the tender hearted doctor._ _

__This man looks crazed, savage. Evil._ _

__Even as his lips break into a wide smile, it is more akin to a grin from the devil rather than a friendly greeting._ _

__“Now what are you doing sneaking around down here, Rey?” he asks, his voice sounding like a dark grip that wraps like a cold hand around her throat as he leans casually over her, using one hand to hold onto her shoulder, and the other resting just above her head, keeping her pinned against the wall._ _

__Her eyes widen in horror when he speaks her name, letting it drip from his mouth in a prolonged, threatening way that makes her chest tighten._ _

__“I… I’m…”_ _

__“Have you found anything interesting, my dear?”_ _

__Rey quickly shakes her head, wondering why on Earth she hadn’t just stayed in bed and gone back to sleep._ _

__“I’m sorry,” she finally chokes out, blinking back the tears that threaten to come forward. “I shouldn’t have been down there, I… I’m just a maid, I’m not… I should be in bed…”_ _

__He seems to ignore her blabbering, his eyes dragging slowly up and down her body as he continues holding her in his strong grip._ _

__Rey begins to feel an odd wave of something go through her as the man studies her all over, his body so close, only centimeters away from hers._ _

__He makes a sighing noise in his throat as his hand on her shoulder suddenly begins moving down, touching against her torso and then slowly trailing down her ribs all the way to her waist._ _

__The movement makes her press against the wall firmly, feeling fire spread over every inch that he touches._ _

__“I think you’ve had enough excitement for one night,” he tells her as his hand drops away from her body. “You’d better run off back to bed.”_ _

__He only steps an inch away from her, not giving her much room to move around him._ _

__But that doesn’t stop her from pushing around him anyway, brushing up against him as she runs off, eager to not waste a second in following his suggestion._ _

__Once she is free to run back to the servant’s quarters, she can’t get far enough away from the terrifying man._ _


	6. Sympathy, Tenderness

Rey is nearly convinced the whole thing was a nightmare once she wakes up the next morning. Rose seems to think she was dreaming, since she isn’t at all concerned about why Rey had woken her ranting about a screaming woman last night. 

It’s almost surreal when Rey heads down into the house, seeing everything operating as normal after thinking she wasn’t going to live to see another day last night. The world seems to have moved on as if nothing had happened at all. 

And yet, there is still excitement to be had, so it seems. 

When she goes down into the supply closet to get her tools to start cleaning the steps, Rey overhears a few servants whispering to each other from the laundry room. 

She isn’t sure if she is concerned given everything that’s happened in the past few days, or just nosy, but either way, she takes her time gathering her things.

“... I told them not to bring him up his breakfast this morning,” a woman who sounds like one of the cooks is whispering. “The doctor needs rest. Have you seen him this morning? He must be ill.”

“Do you think he’s finally beginning to snap?” a younger woman who sounds like the maid who usually cleans in the living room and study, asks in return. “I mean… all this mysterious work he’s been doing… all the late hours, staying up all hours of the night.”

“Well, there’s no one to tell him to slow down. He refused to stay in bed this morning, even though it looked as if he’s gotten no sleep… I tell you Mary, I don’t care if he comes up with a cure for death itself, nothing is worth risking your health in that way.” 

Rey is unable to hear anymore once she hears footsteps on their way towards the room and, knowing it’s probably Hux, she quickly makes herself scarce.

Her eyes stay on the ground as she tries to process what she just overheard. 

So the doctor is ill. She can’t say she’s surprised. The way he works, it’s a wonder this hasn’t happened before. But perhaps something about whatever’s he’s working on this time is finally starting to break him. She can’t imagine having to endure all the pressure he has on his shoulders, with everyone constantly expecting him to produce miracle after miracle. It must take a toll on a person after too long. 

Once she gets outside, she is prepared to get to work and become lost in her thoughts as always, comforted by the cool, foggy morning air. There is complete silence this early, as usual, until she suddenly hears a noise from the side of the house. 

She looks off toward the direction of the laboratory, feeling an awful sense of deja vu. 

She’s close to doing what she should have done last night by just ignoring it and going back to what she was doing, but she hears what sounds like someone grunting in pain and a door slamming closed. 

Once again, unwisely ignoring her instincts, she takes a deep breath and drops her rag to the ground, walking off towards the side of the house.

She is cautious this time as she peeks around toward the laboratory, though she knows whoever that man from last night was couldn’t possibly cause a scene in broad daylight. If he was even real.

Instead, she sees a figure on the ground, looking as if they had just fallen over. 

Upon closer inspection, Rey is shocked to find it’s the doctor. 

“Dr. Solo?” she calls out as she quickly runs down along the side of the house to where he is struggling to get up from where he had seemingly fallen outside the entrance to the laboratory. 

He turns and looks up at her, looking startled, but then relieved once he recognizes her. 

“You’re hurt,” she breathes in alarm, kneeling down beside him and seeing a long gash in his left leg. She reaches her hands out, as if to help in some way, but realizes she has no idea what to do. 

She is able to get a good look at the rest of him, and it’s not much better than his sliced up leg.

His eyes have deep circles underneath them and his face is a shocking pale shade that really does make him look like he’s ill. His clothes also look ravished, as if he’d just been in a scuffle with someone and lost. 

“It’s not as bad as it looks,” he speaks, sounding as if he’s trying to keep his voice the calm, unemotional tone it usually is, but Rey can easily detect a grimace of pain in his words. 

“What happened?” Rey asks, her arms still outstretched awkwardly as he turns onto his knees in an effort to get up. 

“Just an accident in the lab,” he answers, wobbling as he stands up again, but is obviously unable to put any weight on his injured leg. 

Rey moves forward and quickly catches him before he can topple back over. The man really does have an awful sense of balance, even without an injured leg. Rey has caught him running into a table or two and nearly go crashing to the ground in her time here. 

His arms grip around her as well as she stops his fall, and her breathing becomes slightly hitched as her chest touches against his in an effort to get him steady on his one good foot again. 

“Maybe… I should go and get someone…” 

“No,” he shakes his head as his face contorts in pain. “I assume the entire staff is already concerned about me.”

Rey finds herself smiling a bit in sympathy. 

“I suppose there’s no need to give them something else to gossip about,” she says before thinking it through. 

Thankfully, he breaks into a small grin as well. 

“I suppose not,” he agrees as the two of them readjust so that he has one arm slung over her shoulders. “Would it trouble you to help me up to my office? If it won’t interfere with your work, of course.”

“Certainly not,” Rey assures him, before awkwardly grabbing the doctor’s hand and letting him lean on her instead of his wounded leg.

It turns out to be quite a difficult task, seeing as Dr. Solo is definitely a bit bigger than her and Rey is the smallest person she knows, so trying to hold him up while walking back to the house is no easy challenge. 

But of course, before they can even get close to reaching the door, Rey has to suppress a groan of disgust when the devil himself suddenly appears, as if summoned by the opportunity to catch Rey doing something she shouldn’t be.

“What in the world is going on here?!” Hux demands, as if the scene he is witnessing before him is the most outrageous, grotesque thing he’s ever encountered. 

He seems to remember himself once the doctor meets his gaze. 

“Sir, you’ve been injured,” he wisely gathers as he moves forward, purposefully ignoring Rey’s presence. “I will send for help-”

“We have everything under control, Hux,” the doctor assures him. “No use in alerting the entire household. Rey is helping me to my office where I am perfectly capable of treating the wound myself.”

Hux’s lips set into a thin line, and Rey can tell he’s trying incredibly hard to hold in his rage. 

“Sir,” he speaks slowly. “I can retrieve other men from inside, this… _child _, shouldn’t be in charge of-”__

__“I am entirely comfortable with her assisting me, if she is content to,” the doctor speaks, his tone firm with no room for further discussion._ _

__Not wanting to stick around in case Hux explodes with fury, Rey is quick to help the doctor along back to the house, careful to avoid the hateful gaze from her supervisor as they pass him._ _

__“Are you sure you’ll be alright, sir?” Rey asks him once they are inside and heading towards the hallway that will lead to his office. “Perhaps I should take you up to your room so you can lie down.”_ _

__He slows down, making her come to a stop as well as she sees a look of consideration go over him as he looks at his leg that is now beginning to drip blood on the floor. Rey makes a mental note to clean that up later before anyone sees it._ _

__“You seem very tired, sir,” she continues, suddenly feeling eager to get through to him, to be the one that finally gets him to rest and start getting back to normal. “I can bring you whatever you need to fix your leg, but… I really think you should rest a while.”_ _

__He looks like he wants to refuse, but no doubt realizes that she’s right. And he really does look like he wouldn’t mind at least laying down for a few hours._ _

__He nods, suddenly looking down at her, making her blood go hot once his face is only inches from hers._ _

__“Perhaps you’re right,” he allows, much to her surprise and relief._ _

__She isn’t sure what to say in response, so she turns them in the direction of the stairs, looking out to make sure no servants are passing by, before leading him out toward the staircase and up to his room._ _

__On their way up, he describes to her what he needs from his office, which turns out to be a kit full of certain medical supplies in the bottom left drawer of his desk._ _

__Once she gets him into his room and laying down on the bed, he hands her the key to the door of the office, and she goes back downstairs to retrieve what he has asked for and mop away the small trail of blood they had left on their journey upstairs._ _

__“Thank you, Rey,” he says to her after she has brought everything back up to him and he has begun taking out the tools he needs to stitch his wound._ _

__“Of course, sir,” she replies, watching curiously while she hangs by the door and he begins dousing a kerchief with some sort of liquid from a small glass bottle and applying it to the gash in his skin. “Will you be needing anything else?”_ _

__He pauses for a moment without looking up at her._ _

__“No,” he shakes his head before continuing with what he’s doing. “You… you’ll probably be wanting to get back to work. I wouldn’t want to put you off schedule.”_ _

__She supposes that’s his polite way of saying he would like her to carry on with her chores, so she bows her head and wastes no time exiting the room to leave him in peace._ _

__She just catches his head quickly turn toward her as she turns and rushes off, as if he hadn’t expected her to leave so quickly, but she doesn’t hang back._ _

__By the time Rey has gotten back downstairs and outside to where she had begun working on her usual morning duty of cleaning the front steps, she has become so completely lost in replaying everything that had just happen in her mind, that she almost falls over in surprise when Hux’s hand grabs onto her arm, yanking her back before she can kneel down and begin working._ _

__Her heart beats in fear and frustration when she realizes she is going to have to deal with whatever punishment Hux thinks will fit her for daring to interact with the injured doctor this morning._ _

__“You’d do best not to think you are so smart, you little desert rat,” he hisses at her as his eyes burn fire into her skin. “Do you think I am so clueless that I have no idea what you’re trying to do? I’ve seen it time and time again.”_ _

__She can only stare back at him helplessly, completely at a loss._ _

__“I’m sorry sir, but I don’t know what-”_ _

__“There’s always one,” he shakes his head, his eyes now roaming over her in disgust. “One of you greedy little wretches in the batch. Little poor girls who think they can woo the master of the house so that he may rescue them from their oh so horrid lives.”_ _

__Rey doesn’t know what to say. She can only be horrified and embarrassed that anyone would think she would ever do such a thing, but she knows there is no way Hux will ever believe her if she tries defending herself._ _

__“Let me allow this warning, because it will be the only one you will receive,” he speaks, his fingers gripping her arm tighter to make sure he has her full attention. “You will stop this little endeavor of yours immediately. There will be no special relationship between the doctor and you. There is nothing special about you, and there never will be. You are a maid. Nothing more. You will do your job and nothing more. And if the doctor continues to refuse to acknowledge your childish behavior, I will take it upon myself to dismiss you without a reference. Is that understood?”_ _

__Rey has heard Hux threaten to dismiss people time and time again. He rarely ever does, perhaps once or twice that she has seen. She honestly believes that’s because it’s quite a bit of work to dismiss someone in that way._ _

__But she hears nothing but rage and truthfulness in his voice now. Never has he spoken to her in such a way, a way that makes her surprised he didn’t dismiss her on the spot._ _

__Of course she knows she’s not in the wrong. But that doesn’t matter now. She can’t be thrown out. She has nowhere to go. This is her only home._ _

__“I understand, sir,” she nods quickly, making sure to look him in the eye with all the raw honesty she can muster. “I’m dreadfully sorry to upset you. It will never happen again.”_ _

__It takes a couple of seconds, but Hux eventually seems reluctantly pleased with this response and he finally releases her arm and allows her to get back to work._ _

__She wants to curse him. To be able to safely confirm to herself that he is completely wrong in what he thinks of her._ _

__Someone like her would never have a chance with a man like Ben Solo anyhow. He will no doubt wed a rich woman, some old friend of the family that will come to the house to stay one of these months before a happy engagement is announced._ _

__Yet Rey can’t help the feeling of dread in her heart when thinking of this very real and looming possibility. Because as much as she would like to scoff at Hux’s assumption that she would ever consider lying in the doctor’s arms, she can not. Because the thought of it sends a warm, tender feeling through her body that makes her ache to do just that._ _

__Something in his eyes, the kindness he shows, not only to her but with others, his patients. It is a kindness Rey has seen so little of in her life. She would like very much to have that kindness showered upon her more often than she deserves._ _

__Therefore, Hux is half right in his presumptions of what is in her mind._ _

__Rey determines that the realization of this fact, and the events of this past hour, makes this the worst possible way to start a week, let alone a morning._ _


	7. Take Me As I Am

Rey is ever so close to finishing out the day without breaking her word to Hux. 

Of course, in the past, it would have been the easiest thing in the world to follow orders that directed her to have little to no contact with the doctor. He seemed to have little contact with any servant. But seeing as things are determined to take a turn for the unusual in almost every aspect of her everyday routine, Rey finds that it is a strangely difficult task to follow. At least tonight.

She had decided to sweep some of the rooms upstairs since she still had a couple of hours before she would be tired enough to go to bed. After the beratement from Hux, she had worked lightning fast through all her chores for the rest of the day, leaving her schedule completely cleared just an hour or so after dinner. 

Everyone’s main concerns surrounded the kitchen and living room during the later half of the evening, so Rey was looking forward to having practically the entire second floor to herself, just for a bit of quiet. 

It’s times like these where she feels like a complete outsider from all the other servants in the house who seem to despise their work from day to day. Rey finds peace in it, even if, as the others put it, she is keeping a house clean day and night for someone who really could care less how spotless it is. 

It is truly believed by most that Hux is far more prideful about the Solo mansion looking it’s absolute best than the doctor himself is. 

Rey truthfully doesn’t mind at all. As long as she has a job and a relatively safe place to live, she will be forever thankful and willing to do everything that is asked of her.

Almost everything. 

She didn’t realize when she first came up, since everyone pretty much ignores the doctor’s bedroom, whether the door is open or not. But after she hears sounds of soft shouting coming from behind the closed door, she realizes the doctor never left his room since she helped him there this morning. 

She’s alarmed at first that he is being attacked, so she freezes while in the midst of sweeping out the sitting room that is only two doors away from Dr. Solo’s room, her ears straining to hear if the shouting will continue. 

Only a moment later, she hears more sound coming from his room, sounding as if he is crying out in fear, but the noise sounds odd, like he is drunk or groggy. 

After a moment of listening to it, she figures he must be having a nightmare. 

Stepping out into the hall, she glances around to see if anyone else has heard and is going to try and do something. Nothing like this has ever happened before, that Rey can remember at least. 

The yelling isn’t quite loud enough to be heard downstairs, so she assumes no one will be coming up. 

She wants so desperately to just leave it alone. She’s had enough trouble for one day. And how stupid would it be to completely disregard Hux’s cryptic warning that she will definitely be sacked if he catches her with the doctor again?

But she knows she can’t just stand here and continue sweeping while he’s howling in the next room. He sounds terrified. 

Rey recalls having her fair share of horrid dreams, and how heavenly it would have been to have someone wake her out of them. 

Setting her broom against the wall and gritting her teeth in frustration at herself, she walks toward Dr. Solo’s room, hearing his yelping become louder as she leans her ear against the door. 

As much as she knows she should just turn away, the flutter of worry that goes through her chest is enough to make her reach down, turn the handle, and slowly open the door. 

Peeking her head into the darkened bedroom, Rey is able to see the doctor sprawled out on top of the bed, still in his clothes from this morning, the covers tossed this way and that.

Her worry grows when he suddenly jerks his body as if he’d been shocked, another strangled cry coming from his throat, making her jump and quickly close the door behind her. 

She rushes over to light the lamp on the bedside table as the doctor continues tossing and turning.

Not knowing whether to sit on the bed or kneel beside it, Rey settles for bending her knees slightly and hovering over his sleeping form, her hands outstretched as she prepares to attempt to wake him.

She keeps her touch gentle as she slowly places her hands on his shoulders, ignoring his jerking movements. 

Willing him to open his eyes, she tries shaking him awake, being extra careful not to grip him too hard or move him too roughly so as not to alarm him once he does wake. She’s sure that if he panics thinking someone is attacking him, a slug to the face from him isn’t going to feel too fantastic. 

“Ben?” she whispers, thinking of no other way to calm him. 

His eyes open and he flings himself back away from her while she quickly takes her hands off him. 

His heavy breathing now fills the room as Rey lingers near the bed, still unsure if he’s alright. 

He sits up, his hands going up to quickly comb through his short black hair that looks quite a bit messier than Rey has ever seen it before. 

“Thank you,” he whispers to her just as she is about to turn and slowly creep out of the room and pray that he hadn’t noticed she was the one who woke him. 

She freezes, her hands beginning to shake nervously.

“Of course, sir,” she answers before turning away, her eyes on the half open door.

“Wait,” he suddenly speaks in a clear voice that makes him sound as if he’s been entirely awake and conscious for hours. 

Rey looks back at him, prepared for him to give her directions to get something for him from somewhere, but instead finds him staring at her for a long few seconds, as if she had something he wants desperately but doesn't know how to ask for.

“Could you… would it trouble you to stay for a moment or two? Just until I get my bearings.” 

Rey begins to regret ever coming in here in the first place. She’s practically screaming to be caught at this point, knowing it would be too easy for Hux to come up here to ask the doctor about something and find her here in his bedroom with him, and throw her out before she could blink.

But there’s no way she’s going to leave him alone now. 

It’s quiet for a while as Dr. Solo leans back against the bed, his hands covering his face as he continues trying to calm his breathing. 

His nightmare must have been awful. Rey can recall a time where it would take her a long while to calm down after a horrid dream, and she knows how it feels to want to have someone around. Just in case you’re not fully awake yet. 

After she has tentatively sat herself on the edge of the bed, he reaches over to wrap his fingers around her wrist, his eyes staring up her arm tiredly, but with intense curiosity. 

“I know you said you don’t remember much,” he begins talking before Rey can ask him if he is alright, “but… can you tell me anything more about… how you got this?”

His hands moves up her arm, pulling up her sleeve to reveal the red scar on her arm. 

Rey slowly shakes her head, but doesn’t lean away from his touch. 

“I really can’t recall exactly what happened,” she insists. “I don’t know how… what tool it was, I can’t really remember how I managed to heal it, or what it looked like before, so-”

“That’s not what I mean,” he stops her. “I meant… why did it happen? Who did this to you?”

Rey finds herself incredibly put on the spot as the doctor stares at her with serious, if slightly drowsy eyes, waiting for her response. 

“I guess I didn’t have a particularly lovely childhood,” she answers, offering a small, lifeless smile. 

She hopes he will leave it at that, but he doesn’t seem satisfied yet.

“What happened? Was it your parents?”

Parents. Perhaps she wouldn’t even be here now if her parents had given a damn about her. 

“Let’s just say I’m sure my upbringing wasn’t half as joyous as yours,” she assures him, trying to give him a comforting grin that will let him know there is nothing further to discuss about the topic. 

He drops his hand from her arm, but still stares at the mark until Rey reaches to pull her sleeve back over it. 

“You’re so gentle,” he says, making Rey nearly laugh in surprise. “I see you sometimes, around the house… I’ve never seen you be cruel to anything. I don’t understand why anyone would want to hurt someone so kind…”

Rey is now certain the man is delirious and much too tired. 

“You have a calming presence, Rey. It is quite a relief after… after working so long.”

He suddenly reaches out, lazily grasping her hand in his. 

“Will you always be here?” he asks, his words becoming a bit mumbled now, confirming to her that he is probably in a half-dream state.

“You’ve been working too hard,” she tells him, suddenly having to restrain an odd urge to brush her hand along his head. “You should really get some sleep.” 

As if the mere mention of sleep triggered something inside him, his eyes start to droop closed and he sighs deeply, sinking back into a lying position and dropping her hand. 

She thinks she hears him mutter something else to her, but she can tell he’s falling back asleep, so she doesn’t try speaking to him further. 

After dousing the lamp, she tiptoes back out into the hallway once she has briefly glanced out to make sure Hux isn’t gearing up for a surprise attack, and closes the door quietly behind her, before turning and whispering towards the now closed bedroom door. 

"Goodnight, Ben."


	8. Bring on the Men

Rey is not surprised the next morning when one of the servants comes to her just as she’s finishing up with the laundry to inform her Dr. Solo wishes to see her in his office. 

While on her way down the hall to the heavy oak door that leads to the doctor’s private office, a part of her is wondering if she will walk in to find Hux waiting for her, keeping up on his promise that he will take the responsibility of dismissing her. Lord knows she’s asked for it by now. 

Thankfully, the only person she sees once she steps into the small room is the very distracted looking doctor. 

“Rey,” he greets her, his expression looking relieved as he looks up from whatever kind of book he was studying. 

“You asked for me, sir,” she begins, glancing over at his desk that seems to be overflowing with books and papers. 

“Yes,” he nods, setting down his book and beginning to dig through the mess of papers. “I have another favor to ask of you, if you fancy getting out of the house again.”

Rey stares down silently at the ground, a flicker of worry sparking through her at his suggestion.

“Another message you have to deliver?” she asks hesitantly as he continues fussing about the mess for whatever he’s looking for. 

“Yes,” he nods, breathing in reassurance once he pulls out some kind of envelope from the clutter. 

“Is it… are you wanting it to be delivered to Mr. Snoke?”

“No,” he shakes his head, reaching over to hand her the letter, which she takes with a wave of ease. “It’s for a Ms. Holdo… do you know of her?”

Rey shakes her head, narrowing her eyes inquisitively when she sees the slightly unsure look that comes upon the doctor’s face now. 

“Should I have heard of her, sir?” 

“No, not necessarily. She is… she owns a brothel in town.”

Rey isn’t quite sure what a brothel is, but judging from the good doctor’s rather embarrassed expression, she can guess it must be something of ill repute.

“It’s perfectly safe for you, I can assure you,” he promises once he sees her bewildered expression. “I’ve been there before, as long as you simply deliver the message to Ms. Holdo and be on your way, you’ll have no trouble. But to be perfectly honest… I thought I might ask you because anyone else would be too doubtful of going to such a place.”

Rey wonders if she should be offended by his insinuation, but she can’t help but laugh a bit to herself. 

“I suppose, of everyone in the house sir, I have the littlest reputation to uphold,” she offers, giving a small grin. 

Dr. Solo’s eyes now grow wide, looking positively horrified. 

“That isn’t what I meant… I didn’t mean to imply that… Rey, I certainly meant no offense to your status,” he stutters fearfully, looking truly panicked that he might have insulted her. 

Why should he care so much for insulting a maid?

“I only meant that… you seem… well, you’re much more clever than anyone else around here,” he explains to her. “I think you know how to handle yourself.” 

Surprised by the compliment, Rey bows her head in gratitude. 

“I can, sir,” she replies, feeling an odd surge of confidence at his suggestion. 

Is this why he had sent her to Snoke? Because he thought her strong enough to handle herself against his brutishness? 

“I’m sure of it,” he nods respectfully. “You may leave whenever you are ready. She’s no doubt expecting to hear from me eventually, so you should be admitted immediately once you explain yourself.” 

He’s back to milling about the mess of papers and books, scooping a few up in his hands before reaching over to grab his coat from the stand by the door.

“I will be indisposed the remainder of the day, so there will be no need to report back to me, unless something goes awry.”

If Rey had thought Snoke’s office had been in a seedy part of town, it was nothing compared to where this brothel is located.

Granted, this small corner doesn’t exactly qualify as being a part of town. More like an indentation of town that has begun rotting away, so no one pays it any mind. 

Thankfully, there are at least no ghoulish figures stalking around like there are near Snoke’s office. It doesn’t feel as if she’s stepped into a ghost world. 

Before stepping up the stairs that lead to the front door, Rey looks up to see the black cat curled around the words _Sailor’s Delight _on the sign hanging above the door that the doctor had described before she left.__

__Rey can’t help but smirk a bit at the entire situation as she knocks on the door, completely unknowing of what she is going to find once she is inside this place._ _

__An incredibly short woman with pointy looking ears and wiry red hair answers the door, squinting up at her as if she has no idea what she was._ _

__“An what you think you doin’ ‘ere, missy?” she questions, as if Rey were a child that got caught sneaking around somewhere she ought not to be._ _

__“I’m here to see… Ms. Holdo,” Rey answers, getting slightly distracted by the loud noises of what sounds like people laughing and celebrating something inside._ _

__The short woman seems intent on blocking her way as she tries leaning forward to get a look at what in the world is going on inside._ _

__“What you want with tha madam?” she asks, her eyes still squinting at her with mistrust._ _

__“I have a letter for her from Dr. Ben Solo. It is to be delivered to her as soon as possible, and only to her.”_ _

__The woman’s expression changes just a bit at this information, and though she looks as if she really doesn’t want to, she steps aside and nods her in._ _

__Rey steps forward eagerly at the silent invitation, her eyes wide with curiosity as she finally gets a look inside this odd little tavern._ _

__She almost gasps out loud at the sight of numerous scantily clad women who are either sitting on men’s laps, or up on tables, their curls flowing down around their heads, their bodies showcasing more skin than cloth._ _

__Everyone looks drunk, laughing and slurring their words, glasses toppled over with liquid spilling this way and that. The men’s clothes look torn and ragged, as if they’d just gotten off work and decided to try and tear off their uniforms as quickly as possible, but then gave up halfway through._ _

__Music rings loudly through the entire room, seeming to encourage every patron to be even more rowdy._ _

__Some of the women don’t look as drunkenly joyful as the others, actually looking a bit annoyed with multiple men clawing and garbling at them._ _

__Rey is sure she is a sight, her eyes wider than ever, her mouth hanging open in shock at the scene displayed before her._ _

__She has certainly heard of prostitutes before, but in her mind, they were about as common as four leaved clovers. Heard about, but only seen by a rare few._ _

__Never had she ever imagined she would ever come across a slew of them right in front of her, going about their business without a concern in the world of the naive young girl watching them in utter disbelief._ _

__“So what are you, one of his kitchen maids?” a sharp voice drawls from behind her, causing her to snap out of her shocked trance and turn to face the tall, bored looking woman now standing behind her._ _

__Ms. Holdo, as Rey assumes this to be, is an older woman, at least older than all the women in the pub. She wears an exotic, tacky looking black fur coat and holds a cigarette in one hand that she has smoked most of, from the looks of it._ _

__“Dr. Solo asked me to deliver this to you,” Rey replies, remembering the doctor’s advice that she will avoid any trouble as long as she does what she came to do and leaves without any delay._ _

__Ms. Holdo looks rather annoyed at something, her eyes roaming Rey up and down as if she were a rat off the street that had stumbled into her brothel._ _

__She reaches out and snatches the letter from her, not even glancing at it before crossing her arms and continuing to stare at Rey in disgust._ _

__“You’re just going to have to tell the doctor that he will have to wait.”_ _

__The woman takes another puff from her cigarette while Rey gazes at her in confusion._ _

__“Wait for what?”_ _

__Rey jumps when she hears commotion behind her, turning just in time to see one of the women get slapped across the face so hard, she nearly falls straight to the ground._ _

__The man who had struck her grabs her roughly, yanking her back up and shaking her in anger, cursing and raving at her while continuing to paw at what little clothing covers her body._ _

__Rey turns back to Ms. Holdo, expecting her to run off and assist the girl, but she stands exactly as she is, as if the scene hasn’t affected her at all._ _

__Rey doesn’t hesitate to give her a judgmental glare._ _

__Nothing but an amused look crosses Ms. Holdo’s eyes as she chuckles humorously, still keeping her focus on Rey._ _

__“I see,” she speaks as she continues looking Rey up and down. “So he didn’t tell you anything, did he? You’re just the messenger. Completely unaware of what you are even delivering?”_ _

__“It’s my job, ma’am,” Rey answers, beginning to be angered by the woman’s superiority. She wonders if she should inform her to go and help the girl being attacked, but she remembers just how out of her element she is in a place like this._ _

__The woman then suddenly takes a large step closer to Rey, making her jump back and nearly leap out of her skin when she sees the deep seated anger that seems to swim through this woman’s eyes._ _

__“Well, then you tell the doctor he will have to wait for what he is asking for,” she commands as she furiously gazes down at the young woman. “Now get the hell out of my establishment.”_ _

__They both turn as a door from somewhere upstairs suddenly bangs open, and a young woman, clad in nothing but a sheet she holds around herself, comes tearing down the stairs, her face a mess of tears and red marks, as if she too had just been struck._ _

__“I can’t!” she screams, throwing herself at Ms. Holdo, she shoves her back so hard, the poor girl’s spine collides against the wooden banister of the staircase. “He’s a beast, ma’am, you can’t make me-”_ _

__“If you don’t remove yourself from my sight and get back up into that room, you will be begging on the streets for your dinner tonight!” Ms. Holdo fires back at the helpless woman as Rey begins moving back towards the front door._ _

__She wants to help the girl. She wants to help all of these people. She would like to set fire to this horrid place with Ms. Holdo and her monsterish customers in it._ _

__But she remembers the doctor’s warning. No trouble. Get in and get out._ _

__Rey certainly isn’t in a position to where she can do anything for these poor girls. She is just barely getting by on her own._ _

__So, without waiting another second, she is dashing out through the front door, bounding down the steps back onto the street, and melding herself with the crowd busying their way through town, as if that little corner of hell doesn’t exist at all._ _


	9. It's a Dangerous Game

Rey tries, but she can’t stop going over it all in her head. Perhaps if she hadn’t been so specifically involved in all of this, it wouldn’t bother her so much. But she’s grown so weary of all this mystery.

What in the world can the doctor be working on? What is making him act this way? Why would he ever become so desperate to associate with a shady business man and a brothel owner? 

She spends all day trying to do what she always does, throw herself into her chores, muting out the rest of the world and living within her head, but she can’t stand it any longer. She can’t even wait another day.

Once it’s late into the evening, when most of the servants have gone to bed and the house has fallen into numb silence, Rey makes sure no one is around before sneaking into the hallway that leads to the doctor’s private office. 

She has a hairpin prepared to pick the lock, something she hasn’t done in years, but she remembers being rather good at when forced to get herself out of a locked closet or shed. 

In order to keep herself from feeling horribly guilty about doing this after the doctor has been so kind to her, she reminds herself that he was the one who brought her into all of this, so he can’t expect her to just sit back and not try to figure out what’s going on. 

To her surprise, she finds the door is unlocked, so her hairpin and lock picking skills are unneeded tonight. 

Silently pushing the door open, Rey peeks her head inside slowly, nervous that perhaps the doctor is still in here, even though she made sure to watch him until he went up into his room and didn’t come out for over an hour. 

She was hoping he had enjoyed that sleep he had gotten the other night and decided to get some more tonight. 

The room is completely dark, so she moves in, closing the door quietly behind her and going to light the lamp on the desk. 

Another wave of guilt goes through her when she moves toward the desk, beginning to dig through the papers, slowly at first with mistrust, but once she begins looking, she moves faster, eager to find something she understands.

Most of it looks like graphs, charts, all things she can’t even hope to comprehend. Her schooling had stopped just after she had learned basic reading skills.

After finding nothing from the few piles of papers, she begins opening the drawers in the desk, careful to slide them open slowly so that they won’t make much noise. 

The first thing she finds buried in here is a brown leather bound notebook that has the doctor’s name etched out in small cursive letters. 

It’s incredibly worn, as if he’s had it for years. 

It feels heavy in her hands as she raises it up to inspect it, imagining all the things it could tell her, perhaps not just about the doctor’s experiments, but the doctor himself. 

She sets it down within the next few seconds, keeping it out of her field of vision for the time being so that it does not tempt her.

She’s not here to discover every secret of Dr. Solo’s life. She just wants to make sure he is alright. At least that is how she’s thinking of it. 

Rey continues gingerly searching through the drawers in the desk, hoping to find just a specific book, an envelope, or anything indicating what he is spending his time on. But at this point, it almost seems as if the doctor was prepared for someone to come snooping through his office and had removed anything having to do with what he’s working on and just left piles of meaningless papers of graphs and books about the dullest things, like mathematical theorems and harmonic analysis. Whatever those are.

After about two minutes, she’s ready to give up. This entire idea was horrid to begin with. It’s such a sneaky and disgusting thing for a worker to sneak around in her employer’s private business and belongings, particularly when he has been nothing but cordial to her, and all it would take is one other employee catching her sneaking around this area to get her shamed and thrown out. 

She begins gathering all the papers and placing them back in their proper place. She was sure to keep everything organized so that she could put them back in the correct drawer and in the correct order. 

As she’s leaning down with the next stack of papers in her hands, a flash of red catches her eye. 

She peers down into the open drawer, seeing something that has been shoved all the way to the back, where she had missed it when she had been going through the drawer at first.

Setting down the papers, Rey kneels down to the drawer and reaches back to pull out what turns out to be a bright red notebook, much like the doctor’s personal journal she had previously found. 

This one is much more tattered than the other, to the point where pages are sticking out and the cover is scratched and torn in a few places. 

Unlike the other however, there is no name on the front of this one.

It must belong to the doctor, but what could it be? 

She stands still for what feels like a very long time before she finally decides to open it, feeling her chest grow heavy with guilt in the first few seconds as she pulls back the leather bound cover, but her guilt is very quickly overridden with curiosity once her eyes start to scan the pages before her.

She can tell immediately that this notebook does not belong to the doctor for two very obvious reasons. One being that the handwriting looks frantic, possibly even psychotic. The black ink looks splattered across the yellowish paper, as if the author had been in some sort of craze, jotting everything down as quickly as they could, not caring for how nearly unreadable the writing came out.

The second reason is the violent content of the writing.

Every sentence, every stroke of the pen seems pent on going into vicious descriptions of how despicable and wretched the people mentioned are.

Rey doesn’t immediately recognize many names, though she swears a few of them sound familiar and wonders if perhaps they have been visitors in the house, since that is the only way she would be able to come into contact with people of this prestige. And according to whoever wrote this, these people are certainly of that stature. 

Most of the writings just consist of the author expressing hatred over these supposedly deplorable human beings. The words “stuck up”, “snobbish”, “miserable”, and “scum” come up the most. 

Rey begins skipping through most of it, an uncomfortable sense of disgust forming in her throat when reading some of the words. Especially when she comes across a couple of sentences depicting what the author would like to do to these people in response to their unbearable existence. 

It’s on the seventh or so page when Rey finally stumbles upon a name she knows.

Ms. Holdo. 

_A disgraceful old hag who thinks herself a proud owner of a lavish business. She enjoys having people of high status in the palm of her hand. Someone ought to treat her as her workers are treated or maybe worse… ___

__Rey can’t say she necessarily disagrees with any of the accusations, but she doesn’t want to side with anything that the psychopath who wrote this has to say._ _

__Unable to read another word, she closes the book, eager to never look upon those words or that horrifying handwriting ever again._ _

__She supposes this is what she deserves for snooping around someone’s private business._ _

__Just as she is working to shove the monstrous notebook back in its rightfully deserved place at the back of the drawer and wondering how something like this would even get into the doctor’s things in the first place, she feels her heart freeze in her chest when she sees from the corner of her eye a figure standing in the doorway of the office._ _

__A figure who has been standing there for Lord knows how long that she somehow didn’t even hear or notice._ _

__A silly part of her stupidly hopes the figure won’t notice that she has become aware of it and will simply move on if she continues ignoring it._ _

__“Did you enjoy what you read, my dear?”_ _

__Now her blood really goes cold as she recognizes the voice as the same from the man who had chased her from the laboratory that night she was sure had been a dream._ _

__She finally looks up, confirming that it is the same man._ _

__His black eyes grin at her darkly as he moves slowly from the doorway over to her while she stands stagnant behind the desk._ _

__“Do you know who I am, love?” he questions as he gets closer and closer, Rey staring up at him with overwhelmed fear._ _

__Something about the man seems to carry a wave of terror around him, like a dark power._ _

__Finally, she nods, forcing her voice to speak as steadily as possible._ _

__“Yes,” she answers as he moves behind her. “You’re Kylo Ren. You’re the doctor’s assistant.”_ _

__“Smart girl,” he chuckles, pressing himself against her. His arm casually wraps around her waist, holding her still when she tries jumping away from his sudden invasion._ _

__He reaches down to snatch the book out from where she had shoved it back, dropping it down on the desk in front of them._ _

__He rests his free hand against the desk, trapping Rey between him and the desk as he leans his face down beside hers, looking down at the disturbed notebook as if with pride._ _

__“Did you get to my favorite part?” he asks, his voice ringing with sick excitement as he rips open the book and tears through the pages with violent eagerness before he stops suddenly and brings his hand back to rest against the desk._ _

__Rey is unable to keep from looking down, her eyes gazing at the scribbled writing once again._ _

__She doesn’t want to look at it too closely anymore, but she is able to catch Snoke’s name mixed in the scrambled words._ _

__“You’ve met that repulsive pig, haven’t you?” he asks her, his warm breath falling on her neck, his lips brushing her skin, making her shiver as her heart beats uncontrollably._ _

__“Why would you write such horrid things?” she asks him, wondering why in the hell her body seems intent on leaning into his hold._ _

__He laughs softly, his long hair sliding across her face as he turns to look at her._ _

__“Do you disagree with any of it?”_ _

__She is about to answer that she would never agree with anything of his, but she stops herself when she thinks of Snoke cornering her in his office, or Ms. Holdo’s cruel treatment of the poor girl asking her for help._ _

__Does she not agree with his words about them?_ _

__“It’s not healthy to restrain your thoughts, Rey,” he tells her, the hand on her waist moving up her torso, almost up to her breasts._ _

__She is beyond shocked, not only at his behavior, but how her body seems to be responding._ _

__Never has she experienced someone acting in such a way, least of all towards her. And yet, Kylo’s touch doesn’t feel as brutish or disgusting as someone like Snoke. It feels almost… gentle in a way. As if he simply wants to caress her._ _

__That still doesn’t mean he’s acting like anything less than a beast._ _

__“I suppose you don’t believe in restraining your hands either,” she suggests, her tone short as she tries to roughly pull away from him, but honestly, she’s a bit fearful of what he’ll do._ _

__Given the entries in this journal, Kylo Ren might not be a stranger to violence._ _

__He just laughs again, keeping his arm locked around her middle, his other hand leaving the desk to join in softly resting against her body as well._ _

__“It’s dangerous to hold back your desire, Rey,” he tells her, his voice seeming to echo in her mind, as if this man were some horrid spirit designed specifically to haunt her. “Just like it’s dangerous to hold back your hatred.”_ _

__“Tell me,” he speaks slowly as one of his hands reaches up to brush back some strands of her hair that had fallen loose from her three buns, “when was the last time you ever let anyone see you, my dear?”_ _

__“See me?” she questions, trying to ignore the chills that shoot down her spine when his bare fingers drag against her scalp as he brushes her hair back._ _

__“You seem like someone who… shall I say, hides from the world.”_ _

__Before Rey can answer, she gasps as Kylo suddenly pulls her back with him as he collapses into the chair sitting behind the desk, holding her on his lap, her squirming this way and that while he simply sits comfortably, as if he does this everyday._ _

__She turns her head to glare at him, but she’s afraid her stare comes out as more like gaping in wonder than gazing in anger and annoyance._ _

__Being so close to him again, she’s surprised to be hit by a flicker of familiarity when gazing at Kylo Ren’s face._ _

__His features really do resemble the doctor’s, though the wild look in his dark eyes and the crazed aura about him sets him far apart from Ben Solo._ _

__Something about this man frightens her deeply. There is something that seems so wrong about him, so off. And yet she can’t help but also be a bit… curious._ _

__That, and she’s horrified and confused at why she is beginning to feel so comforted by his warm hands on her waist as she sits rather intimately on his lap._ _

__“Would you like to come into town with me tomorrow?” he asks her, his playful black eyes smiling into hers._ _

__“Town?” she questions, not sure whether to be bewildered or irritated at the question._ _

__“Yes, town,” he answers, looking amused by her reaction._ _

__His hand begins slowly moving about her waist once again, making her tense up._ _

__“I’m sure the doctor would greatly appreciate it if you accompanied me,” he tells her, his lips turning upwards in a teasing grin, as if taunting her with a secret he knows._ _

__Gathering her courage, Rey finally rips away from the man, standing up straight and running out of the room, back into the hallway, and towards the stairs leading up to her room, not looking back once and refusing to think about Kylo Ren’s hands touching and manipulating her, even as she hears his laugh reverberating behind her, a dark laugh that seems to promise she has not seen the last of that wicked man._ _


	10. The World Has Gone Insane

Rey knows before the day begins that she will see Kylo again. As much as she would prefer to not have another interaction with him or the doctor for a long amount of time, but of course that is not what fate has in store for her. 

It’s almost jarring to see him not shrouded in darkness for once. She had almost become convinced that Kylo Ren was some sort of vampire, always stalking around the house at night, cornering her with his devilish stare and his hands roaming all over. 

It’s strange, seeing him now standing over her in the daylight as she’s scrubbing the stone path outside in the back. 

She swears she sees a shadow cast over the whole yard before she even raises her head to look up at him, a blanket of darkness that falls over her.

_Can’t you just leave me alone _she wants to spit at him, but all she can do is stare up, feeling herself shrink into the ground as he towers over her.__

__“My offer still stands,” he speaks down to her as she quickly stands up so as not to have to gaze up at him from the ground. “Will you be accompanying me into town?”_ _

__Rey simply keeps her face blank as she reaches down to collect her supplies._ _

__She has no idea what Mr. Ren is playing at, but she has decided she will not play along any further._ _

__“Come now, no need to be unpleasant, my dear,” he fake pouts, though his eyes still gloat with a teasing nature that makes her blood boil. “Don’t you want to get away from this old house?”_ _

__“I’ve had about enough of getting out of the house to last me a year,” she informs him as she marches off toward the shed, Kylo keeping perfect pace with her._ _

__“Oh, but I have a feeling you might find this particular journey incredibly rewarding,” he proposes mysteriously._ _

__Rey knows he’s just trying to get her attention, but she can’t help but be curious at what he has to offer._ _

__“What exactly are you doing that could be so interesting?” she asks, only half sarcastically._ _

__“I’ve been assigned to pick up a few items for the doctor. Very essential items for his studies.”_ _

__Now Rey pauses, coming to a stop just before reaching the shed. She hates that Kylo can now fully see how intrigued she is, but she isn’t able to hold back her interest._ _

__“Where are you going?” she inquires._ _

__He grins pridefully now, taking his time with his answer now that he knows he has her attentiveness._ _

__“Wouldn’t you like to know?” he smirks at her as she glares up at him in annoyance. “I suppose the only way you’ll ever find out is if you come along with me.”_ _

__Rey doesn’t like one bit how he makes this sound. She knows this brute only wants to toy with her. But perhaps… if she does go along with him, she will get that much closer to finding out what Dr. Solo is becoming so distressed over._ _

__And maybe even how to help him._ _

__Besides, to be perfectly honest, she does enjoy the walks through town. Even if the past two destinations have been less than desirable._ _

__Taking a deep, quite irritated breath, she looks Kylo Ren directly in the eye, straightening her posture out as much as she can._ _

__“Alright then, Mr. Ren. When are you leaving?”_ _

__Rey soon finds it is extremely hard to keep up with Kylo’s pace when walking through town. Not only is his walking jagged and rapid, as if he were some animal bounding down the street, and people look at him as if he is just that. But she also has to dodge through the crowd of people zipping this way and that while struggling to keep Kylo’s tall, dark form in her sights, which turns out to be even more difficult when he seems to be pushing his way through anyone who is in front of him, leaving Rey in a crowd of very offended people stopping to stare off at the rude man._ _

__They had left in such a hurry, Rey only had time to grab her shawl before Kylo was pulling her out the door, before she even had a chance to find Hux or the doctor to let them know where she was going._ _

__She has no clue what their destination will be until she finally follows him toward an old hospital that she doesn’t even have time to read the name off before Kylo goes barging in and she scurries in behind him._ _

__Only after they have entered the surprisingly busy hospital does Kylo finally turn back to see if she is still there behind him._ _

__Rey narrows her eyes in question at him while tons of people dressed in white nurse uniforms or doctor’s gear rush around this way and that, carrying piles of forms and tools she doesn’t remotely recognize._ _

__The entire place is much colder and uninviting than she expected a hospital to seem like. She would think a place people go when they’re hurt or sick would seem more warm and comforting._ _

__As she’s standing in the middle of all this commotion, Kylo walks up to her and grabs ahold of her arm, dragging her sharply towards the direction he wants to go._ _

__“Have you ever been in a place like this before, Rey?” he asks her as he pushes his way down the hallway while she tries to give everyone staring at them an apologetic look._ _

__“Of course not,” she replies, her voice ripe with annoyance. “I’ve never been ill or injured, and I doubt anyone would care much if I was.”_ _

__Kylo seems to chuckle humorlessly at her comment._ _

__He stops suddenly once they get to a row of wooden double doors that look so thin, it would probably take only one stroke from a club to completely shatter the wood._ _

__“Perhaps this will put you in better spirits,” Kylo tells her, that dark excitement glinting through his eyes once again._ _

__He reaches forward and shoves his palm against the double doors, flinging them open with ease, exactly as Rey expected them to._ _

__She is in the middle of wondering what operation in a hospital could be so unimportant as to allow for such flimsy doors, but before she can ponder that matter any further, she is left standing in stunned silence as her eyes take in the sight laying on the other side of the doors._ _

__There is a group of men all standing in a circle, a few of them in fine suits taking notes in large books they have with them, while others have on protective sheets covering them, which have become splattered with dark blood._ _

__The table they are all surrounding holds a cold dead body with its chest wide open, picked apart by the array of sharp instruments the men in white sheets are all holding._ _

__Rey chokes in surprise and disgust as she quickly turns and shields her face, while Kylo simply laughs, his hands holding her shoulders as if he thought she might try to run off._ _

__“If you would excuse us, gentlemen,” his voice booms out as he drags Rey into the room despite her trying to plant her feet into the ground. “We have someone who would like to visit!”_ _

__Rey gnashes her teeth together, now trying to block out the horrid aroma that is circling through the room as well as trying to block out the image._ _

“Come my dear, I brought you here so you could _see _,” Kylo hisses in her ear like a deranged beast.__

______“Are you so heartless that you can expect me to stare at something so horrid?” Rey asks, refusing to bring her hands away from her face, feeling as if his hands on her shoulders are searing into her skin._ _ _ _ _ _

____“You might not think it so terrible when you see who it is,” he challenges, the wicked playfulness now completely dropped from his tone. “I should think you would want to take one last look at someone who was so important in your life before they send him and his rotten innards off to the fire.”_ _ _ _

____Now Rey is startled enough to slowly raise her head a bit from her hands._ _ _ _

____She’s half thinking this could be just some sort of cruel trick Kylo is attempting just to get her to look, but she can’t imagine him bringing her here just for that._ _ _ _

____Her eyes inch back towards the body on the table, where the men have stepped back a bit to give her room to study the face of the unfortunate soul laying cut open before them._ _ _ _

____It only takes seconds for the horror of seeing a corpse’s face to wear off before Rey recognizes the features of Unkar Plutt, her old foster father._ _ _ _

____His skin has seemed to turn grey, as if he had died from all the life being drained from him. His blood and insides look as black as Rey always imagined them to be._ _ _ _

____Fearing she may be sick, Rey stumbles back out of the room, desperate to get away from the nightmarish vision that she knows will now haunt her for a long time._ _ _ _

____Kylo follows her out smiling and laughing quietly, as if he found this all to be simply delightful._ _ _ _

____“How could you be so joyful?” Rey picks one question out of the dozens that she has for him, the hand that had once covered her eyes now covering her mouth. “Does a lifeless, cut up corpse not sicken you?”_ _ _ _

____“Not his corpse,” Kylo shrugs carelessly, as if this man he doesn’t even know could be nothing less than dirt on his shoe. “He was a pig. Only fitting he should be sliced up like one after his pitiful death.”_ _ _ _

____“You can just speak that way of a man you don’t know? How is it possible you ever met him, how… how can it be that you even know he was…”_ _ _ _

____Kylo seems to revel in her bafflement._ _ _ _

____“It’s quite easy, being a close companion of the doctor, to look through the records of his employees.”_ _ _ _

____He steps closer to her until she has bumped against the opposite wall, invading her with his stare and his words._ _ _ _

____“I’ve read things about you that I’m sure you didn’t even know were given to your dear doctor.”_ _ _ _

____Rey can only glare back at Kylo, feeling angered that he had broken into the records to look into her personal life, but also feeling a sting of betrayal toward Dr. Solo, who had obviously made it easy enough for Kylo to do so._ _ _ _

____“I must say my love, I can’t understand how you aren’t more pleased,” he muses, studying her closely while still keeping her backed against the wall. “After all he did to you, I’m surprised you didn’t just kill the old slug yourself.”_ _ _ _

____Rey considers his words briefly, wondering why she doesn’t feel a sense of relief at the cruel bastard’s death. He had done unspeakable things to her. Her childhood was lost to him and she still has the scars years later, even now that she is an adult._ _ _ _

____But she’s already escaped from him. She has lived in a place where he couldn’t touch her for years now. There’s no reason for her to want him dead._ _ _ _

____Is there?_ _ _ _

____“He abused you, Rey,” Kylo seems to want to egg her on, as the man already being dead isn’t enough._ _ _ _

____What does he want from her?_ _ _ _

____“After everything he’s done to you, don’t you believe he got what he deserved?”_ _ _ _

____She refuses to answer._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____Kylo grabs a sack full of body parts from some sort of freezing room at the back of the hospital before they are on their way back to the mansion. Rey would have been extremely curious about what the doctor needs body parts from the hospital for concerning his experiments, but she’s a bit distracted with the events that just took place moments ago._ _ _ _

____On their silent walk home, where Kylo’s odd, rageful pace seems slightly subdued, Rey can’t help but remember the notebook she had found with his writing in it. How it had described Kylo’s rage, his desire to harm, even kill these people who seemed to anger him._ _ _ _

____Did he have a hand in Unkar Plutt’s death?_ _ _ _

____She hates herself for having the thought. Kylo Ren is a horrible brute with a sick sense of humor perhaps. And he may certainly have a temper. But to think him a murderer… that seems a bit ridiculous._ _ _ _

____Rey is slowly making her way towards the house while Kylo stomps off to the laboratory, but just before she is about to go inside, she glances over to see him staring at her from the back door to the lab._ _ _ _

____His eyes narrow challengingly, as if he’s daring her to follow him, knowing her curiosity and dangling it in front of her._ _ _ _

____After he’s disappeared inside, she takes a moment to look around and make sure Hux isn’t watching her, before running off towards the door Kylo had disappeared through._ _ _ _

____Rey has caught brief glances of the laboratory every now and then, but this is the first time she’s actually set foot inside._ _ _ _

____It’s mostly just a large round room filled with tables of bottles, tubes, and crazy looking equipment that Rey wouldn’t know the first thing about operating._ _ _ _

____Kylo maneuvers his way around the room easily without gawking at his surroundings like she is, and he slams his bag full of body parts from the hospital down onto an empty table._ _ _ _

____“Why would Dr. Solo allow you to see my personal information?” Rey asks him while keeping her distance as she sees Kylo pull a pair of leather gloves on before beginning to unwrap all the frozen human parts and do Lord knows what with them._ _ _ _

____He chuckles to himself, shaking his head as he goes about his gruesome job._ _ _ _

____“It’s quite charming how you think the doctor to be such a pure and perfect man,” Kylo muses, a spit of bitterness in his words. “You and everyone else idolizes him as if he’s the greatest thing to ever grace your pathetic lives.”_ _ _ _

____Rey is shocked to hear such harsh words coming from someone who works personally with the man._ _ _ _

____“Dr. Solo has done brilliant work…” she begins to respond before Kylo cuts her off, uninterested with her defense of the man._ _ _ _

____“You think him so genuine and righteous, but do you have any idea how much he yearns to have you for himself?”_ _ _ _

____Rey is unable to proceed with her next argument because she is so incredibly astounded at what she has just heard._ _ _ _

____“He craves to touch you everytime he sees you, my dear. Does that sound like a modest gentleman to you?”_ _ _ _

____Rey dismisses the preposterous idea immediately._ _ _ _

____“You have a demented sense of humor, Mr. Ren,” she replies accusingly._ _ _ _

____He doesn’t say anything back, but she is sure he is grinning while his back is facing her and he continues about with the body parts._ _ _ _

____“Why in God’s name do you need frozen body parts for an experiment?” Rey asks him, wanting to change the subject._ _ _ _

____“I’m sure I don’t know, dear,” he sighs as he reaches down underneath the table to retrieve some kind of bucket filled with liquid that he starts depositing the parts in. “I simply do what the doctor asks of me and retrieve whatever he orders.”_ _ _ _

____“I don’t believe that,” Rey informs him, indeed not buying the lie for a second._ _ _ _

____He turns toward her slightly, laughing a bit in surprise._ _ _ _

____“Oh, pardon me,” he drawls sarcastically._ _ _ _

____“You’re the doctor’s assistant. If there’s anyone who would know anything about what he’s working on, it’s you. He would certainly tell you what he’s working on if he trusts you enough to give you this position.”_ _ _ _

____Kylo goes about his work instead of answering, hauling the bucket over towards some kind of machine, dropping it on top with a clang that makes Rey jump, ripping off his gloves and tossing them away, and then bounding over towards her, causing her to take a few steps back._ _ _ _

____“There’s a fiery little spirit hidden beneath you, isn’t there?” he asks as he approaches until his face is inches from hers. “I knew there was something about you I liked.”_ _ _ _

____Before even another second can pass, Kylo’s hand has reached up as pressed against the back of her head, his fingers gripping through her hair as he presses his lips against hers, his mouth moving violently against hers in a rough kiss._ _ _ _

____Rey can do nothing at first but stand still, her eyes falling closed in shock as she feels a man’s lips on hers for the first time in her life._ _ _ _

____Any thoughts of pushing him away, slapping him across the face, kicking him in the leg, or even being disgusted of the fact he has just finished handling human body parts, are all buried within seconds as she focuses on Kylo’s lips devouring hers, his tongue pushing into her mouth while she simply stands and lets him, mesmerized by the sensation fluttering through her body._ _ _ _

She’s _enjoying _this.__

________She gasps, flinging herself away from him, wincing slightly as her hair pulls a bit when she whips herself out of his grasp._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______He isn’t grinning smugly as she thought he would be._ _ _ _ _ _

______The look in his eyes now is much more intense. Wild, hungry, like kissing her had set something aflame inside of him, and he is ready to pounce on her any second now._ _ _ _ _ _

______Before he can look at her another moment, Rey has turned and run out the back door, nearly tripping over her feet on her way back to the sanctuary of the house._ _ _ _ _ _


	11. Reflections

It is early the next morning when Dr. Solo once again finds Rey, this time as she’s returning dishes to the kitchen, and asks her to his office.

Rey’s first reaction is extreme panic, since there are a couple other servants in the kitchen cleaning up, and they certainly take notice of the doctor pulling Rey aside, since the sight of the master of the house being in the kitchen is definitely a matter that would turn a few heads. 

However, there is nothing much she can do. She can’t exactly refuse him, as much as she wants to. She’ll just have to pray that Hux will believe her that she isn’t the one who is following the doctor around, if all this gets back to him. 

Rey rushes out ahead of the doctor as fast as she can, not wishing to waste a second of the other servants staring and wondering what could be going on between them. 

She has already set her jaw, her eyes narrowed in anger as she enters the doctor’s private office, opening the door herself and walking in, not waiting for him.

Naturally, he seems a bit startled by her sudden change in behavior. 

“Is everything alright, Rey?” he questions as he eyes her with concern while she glares coldly back at him. 

“Why does your assistant know so much about me?” she asks in a demanding tone that she is sure she’s never used toward anyone in her life, much less her employer. “How do you allow your staff’s records to be so poorly protected that someone like Kylo Ren can see them?” 

She watches his reaction carefully, seeing his confusion slowly melt into understanding, and then guilt as he takes in her words. 

It’s now, as she’s studying him more closely, that she realizes he’s looking a bit better than he has the past few days. His clothes are perfectly pressed and straightened, his hair is all pulled back with not a strand out of place, like it always used to be. 

“I’m sorry, Rey,” he says with a slight shake of his head, as if he were caught off guard by the fact that she had found out her personal life had been showcased for anyone to read about. “I… do you want to sit down?”

“No.”

He sighs, stepping around until he is standing in front of the desk and Rey is before him, not taking her glare off him until he answers her question. 

“I’ve always kept records of the well being of my staff,” he tells her, leaning up against the desk casually. “I am a doctor after all. In your case, it probably included details about your childhood. I’m assuming that’s what Mr. Ren… brought up.”

“So you know then,” she states. “You know about me and… my childhood.”

“No,” he shakes his head, an honest look in his eyes. “I never look through any of the records unless there is a reason for me to. They are given to me by the government or law enforcement officers. But I don’t simply read through people’s personal business for fun.” 

Some of her anger simmers down, feeling a bit embarrassed that she had assumed the doctor to be a fool.

“Well obviously that’s what your assistant likes to do,” she replies, still with noted irritability though she is much less heated. 

Now the doctor’s eyes start to ring with the same annoyance that is in hers. 

“I know,” he nods apologetically. “He must have found a way into the safe and…”

“Then why in the hell is he still here?” Rey asks, no longer caring about holding her tongue in front of her employer. “If he’s doing things like that, you need to send him away!”

“It’s not that easy, Rey. He’s… he’s an incredibly essential part of my study, and we’re far too deep into it now for me to simply send him away.”

Rey nearly laughs in disbelief.

“I don’t understand how you could just-”

“I don’t expect you to,” the doctor answers. “All of this is… I know it’s very unusual, but you have to trust me that everything is going to work out eventually.”

“Well, if you’re keeping records of anyone’s mental health, then it should be his,” she accuses, feeling her anger bubble up again. “He’s the one who seems to be unstable. He acts like he has no feelings or kindness towards anything, he is completely ignorant of anyone but himself and his own desires, he writes these crazy horrid fantasies about people he dislikes…”

Rey pauses, finding herself unable to go on before hearing the doctor’s input on any of this. 

He just sits as he has been, looking completely unsurprised and unaffected by anything she just told him. 

“You have nothing to fear from him, Rey,” Dr. Solo tells her, looking directly into her eyes, as if he had been able to decipher the real question she has in the back of her mind. “He’d never do anything to hurt you. He’s quite fond of you.”

She’s surprised at the earnesty with which he says this to her, as if he really is trying to reassure her. 

Once again, Rey recalls what Kylo had said to her yesterday. How the doctor secretly lusts after her… all nonsense of course, but she still can’t help feeling almost comforted by it.

It reminds her of how the doctor is speaking now, insisting that Kylo cares for her. 

“We must stop meeting like this,” Rey speaks firmly, moving off from the topic of Kylo’s possible affection toward her. If that’s what Dr. Solo wants to call it. “You must stop calling me aside to do these errands for you.”

“Rey, if you didn’t wish to go, you were never required to-”

“I’m sorry doctor, but you really must be quite daft if you think it’s easy for someone like me to simply refuse a request from the master of the house,” Rey suddenly snaps. 

She begins feeling an entire different level of stress and anger coming forth that mostly doesn’t even have anything to do with the doctor himself. 

“Apparently you are completely oblivious to all the trouble you’ve been causing me in the past couple of weeks, speaking to me all of a sudden as if we’ve been close friends for some time, inviting me to read the books in your study, sending me off to do things you say you “trust me” with, causing Mr. Hux to think I’m the one conducting all of this and acting like I'm some kind of trollop, and you sending me to someone like Mr. Snoke who has got to be the most disgusting and fearsome creature I’ve ever-”

“Snoke?” the doctor suddenly stops her before she can continue on her rant. 

Rey actually stops to take a breath while Dr. Solo leans away from his desk, now standing at his full height, towering over her as concern riddles his expression.

“Did he do something to you?” he asks as Rey begins coming off of her tirade, now starting to feel terribly guilty about everything she had just said to this man. 

“Rey,” he speaks, reaching out to gently curl his hand around her arm before she can begin turning away from him. “What happened?” 

She considers telling him for a moment, but decides it’s pointless now.

“It doesn’t matter,” she replies. “He’s a pig. That’s all you need to know.” 

It’s quiet and still in the room as the doctor’s gaze sinks to the ground, his hand dropping away from her arm.

“I’m so sorry, Rey,” he speaks, their eyes meeting again. “I shouldn’t have sent you there alone. I didn’t… I should have known he’d try something like… like that.”

He puts his hand on his forehead, and Rey is genuinely surprised at how much he seems to care, even when she just acted the way she did towards him seconds ago. 

“So it sounds like you have met him in person then,” Rey determines. “You’ve been to that horrid place he calls his office.”

“Yes, I have met him before, but I’ve never gone to his office personally. Which is why I shouldn’t have sent you down there. But I just… I figured if he knew you were a part of my staff, my household, that he wouldn’t try anything. I thought that would keep you safe.” 

Rey stares at him, getting an odd feeling hearing it being stated like that. That Dr. Solo really did think about her safety before sending her. 

“But you’re right,” he nods to her, “I have been far too ignorant.”

He seems to take a short breath before speaking again, though he keeps his eyes carefully blank, as if he is trying to hide something.

“And if you are uncomfortable with our… acquaintanceship, I understand completely.”

“You consider us acquaintances?” Rey asks, surprised when she feels herself trying to repress a grin.

“Of course,” he answers, cocking his head slightly as if it is news to him that she wasn’t aware of this. 

Rey takes a moment to allow this new information to register, finding that she is more than willing to accept it.

“I’m sorry for my behavior, doctor,” she expresses, praying she hadn’t just destroyed his decent opinion of her. “I shouldn’t have said any of it, I believe you are a great man, and you certainly don’t deserve someone like me berating you for…”

“Nothing you said was untrue,” he responds, sounding completely indifferent. “In fact, I’m rather glad to hear you have a voice of your own, rather than just listening and taking orders from everyone else.” 

In a way Rey can not understand, this compliment feels like the best he could have given her.

After returning to her duties, Rey finds herself in quite a good mood for the rest of the day. She’s not sure why she should ever care about needing validation from anyone, but hearing that Dr. Solo considers her good enough to at least care about a little, makes her feel as if she is doing something right for the first time in her life, or at least doing something that makes someone in the world grateful towards her. 

Even having a run in with Hux can’t dampen her mood on this day. 

But something that does cause her heart to jump into her throat is when she is in the middle of hanging laundry to dry outside and she begins to listen in on the conversation two maids are having while sweeping around the laboratory and hears her name clearly mentioned. 

“I swear it Alice, Margaret saw it with her own eyes,” one of them is saying excitedly. “That girl Rey came absolutely _sprinting _out of this back door yesterday, her cheeks flushed as ever. And that absolute brute of a man walked out not long after her, looking pretty pleased with himself and like he was looking to get a bit more, if you know what I’m saying.”__

“You can’t be serious,” the other maid laughs in disbelief, as if this is the most interesting thing she’s ever heard, and to be honest, gossip like this is equivalent to a Christmas feast amongst servants. “That girl is the biggest prude I have ever seen! There’s no way she could have.”

“Well she did Alice, in this very room. I’m sure the doctor wouldn’t approve of one of his maids and his assistant carrying on an affair in _his _house, let alone his laboratory…”__

______“Rose!” Rey tries quietly whispering over to her friend once she sees her bustling out the backdoor with a tub of water from the kitchen to dump out._ _ _ _ _ _

____Rey gestures her over once Rose looks up, and she quickly comes rushing over to where Rey is standing and listening._ _ _ _

____“What is it?”_ _ _ _

____“Have you been hearing… well, do you know of any…”_ _ _ _

____“Do I know of your secret liaison with the doctor’s assistant?” Rose asks, grinning smugly. “Why I believe half the staff knows of it by now.”_ _ _ _

____“How?” Rey asks with horror, nearly dropping all the clean laundry to the ground._ _ _ _

____“Well I don’t know, Margaret claims she was upstairs cleaning the windows yesterday and saw you rush out of the laboratory looking all hot and bothered or something. You know it’s all just talk Rey, you’re simply the exciting topic of the week. Remember that awful story that went around for awhile about Martha and Jonathan in the shed-”_ _ _ _

____“Is this really all anyone’s talking about? What if someone overhears, what if the doctor…”_ _ _ _

____“Well, according to some of the stories, you’re having a heated love affair with the doctor as well,” Rose shrugs, thinking this entire thing as absolutely harmless fun._ _ _ _

____“That is outrageous!” Rey exclaims, forgetting to keep her tone hushed._ _ _ _

____“Everyone’s been taking notice of how much time you seem to be spending with him,” Rose nudges her teasingly. “And everyone thinks Mr. Ren is jealous because he harbors affections for you as well.”_ _ _ _

____Rey feels as if she could faint._ _ _ _

____“Don’t take it all to heart Rey, it’s all just stories and rumors we all have to make up to keep ourselves entertained,” Rose chuckles, giving Rey a comforting pat on the shoulder. “I mean, imagine if all we had to talk about around here was the chores!”_ _ _ _

____“And I suppose it’s no matter if all these stories and rumors get back to Mr. Hux,” Rey replies back heatedly, not thinking any of this to be amusing one bit._ _ _ _

____She is sure to be thrown out now. Hux is able to pick up on the smallest of rumors, so if this sort of story is flittering about the house, there is no way he won’t hear of it._ _ _ _

____“Oh, he won’t hear a thing,” Rose denies. “Listen, far worse stories have circulated about all of us, and we haven’t been sacked yet.”_ _ _ _

____Rey supposes this is true, but Hux doesn’t seem as dead set on firing anyone else more than her._ _ _ _

____“Have you even met that Kylo Ren fellow?” Rose asks as Rey reluctantly picks up with the laundry once again._ _ _ _

____“Only briefly,” Rey lies._ _ _ _

____“I’ve seen him walking about once or twice. He is just a complete scoundrel, is he not? I’ve never seen anyone so rude and upfront in my life.”_ _ _ _

____“Is that so?”_ _ _ _

____“I wonder where Dr. Solo ever dug him up. He certainly doesn’t seem the type to hang about that kind of man.”_ _ _ _

____“Perhaps they were childhood friends or something,” Rey offers, having wondered the same thing herself many times before._ _ _ _

____“Yes, or perhaps Mr. Ren has fallen from grace,” Rose suggests, an eager glint in her eye. “Think of it, he might have been some sort of outstanding, brilliant student, comparable to Dr. Solo at one time, and then came crashing down a spiral of bad luck and bad decisions.”_ _ _ _

____“The people in this house certainly enjoy coming up with the wildest of stories,” Rey muses._ _ _ _

____She decides now to bring up something else that has been bothering her, since they are on the topic of their crude new guest._ _ _ _

____“Have you noticed how similar Mr. Ren and the doctor look?” Rey asks, intensely curious to know Rose’s opinion. “I swear they could be brothers at times when I look at them.”_ _ _ _

____“Are you quite mad?” Rose laughs. “They couldn’t be further apart! I’d sooner compare a stone with a daisy before I’d notice similarities between those two.”_ _ _ _

____“You really don’t see anything alike at all?”_ _ _ _

____“Rey, you must be playing with me. The only thing those men have in common is that they are both working on the same mysterious experiment we all don’t know about.”_ _ _ _

____Rey is at first thrown off by the fact Rose seriously hasn’t noticed a single thing about the somewhat similar look the two incredibly tall and domineering share, even if their mannerisms are utterly opposite._ _ _ _

____But ultimately, Rey is sure this is yet more proof that she is simply far too suspicious of this entire situation._ _ _ _


	12. A New Life

Rey can only remember one other time when she left the house at night. It was maybe a year or so after she first arrived. She had just recovered from a horrid fever and felt so stifled by the closed-in quarters she had been forced into and swore she would die if she were to spend another minute in them.

So, instead of sleeping, she very foolishly snuck out into the dead of night, walking about the streets by herself.

She does the same tonight.

Hugging a thin shawl around herself, she steps out from the side entrance of the house, the one near the servant’s quarters. It’s late, probably past midnight, but she simply wasn’t going to be able to get any sleep anyway, laying wide awake in her bed, feeling Rose sleeping soundly inches from her. 

So, here she is, moving further and further from the safety of the Solo estate, and further into the darkness of the streets, nothing but a very occasional street lamp to light her way. 

She of course isn’t as fearful as she was the first time she had done this. It’s been a couple of years, but she still recalls the route she had taken, a relatively safe one that she wouldn’t get lost in. One that would keep her walking for hours, enough to hopefully wear her out so that she may return to bed and sleep. 

Rey assumes, since she has been ever so stressed over the matter, that her thoughts in these hours spent walking will be no doubt consumed by wondering about the doctor, his experiments, the rumors circulating about her, and why Kylo is such a heartless brute. 

But instead, as her soft footsteps patter peacefully against the cobblestone streets, echoing through the empty shops and small buildings, Rey finds herself thinking more about her own life. 

She remembers moments, as a child, having a sense of hope, that one day everything would change for her. Someone would gallantly rescue her from her dreadful life, take her away to a beautiful castle where she would become a princess and live happily ever after.

Once Unkar Plutt had beaten the last shred of that hope out of her, it was a long hard few months as she grew into a young woman, realizing nothing will ever change for her. This is how she is to live for the rest of her life. 

The fact that she has no money of her own, a poor station, and about the lowest upbringing you could ever have isn’t what bothers her. She would happily live with all of that if she could just have someone to live it with.

That is what her new form of hope has become. Hope that someone, someday might understand her. Her loneliness, all she’s been through. How frightening it is to be a young, poor woman in this world with no one to turn to for help or comfort. Not even family of her own, let alone someone completely unrelated to her willing to share in her troubles. 

After hearing so many tales of triumph, people overcoming the worst and finding happiness, Rey wonders why she shouldn’t be allowed to live such a life. 

This walk that was supposed to clear her mind and put her thoughts at peace has now begun to thoroughly depress her, as she feels even more alone than ever with nothing but a gentle fog glowing through an otherwise empty world that is currently devoid of life. 

She is at first sure that the distant sound of tapping is coming from her own footsteps, perhaps sending an echo down the next street. Or maybe her own ears are making up the noise amidst the uncomfortable, tomb-like silence of the night. 

But the tapping grows louder, and Rey eventually slows her own walking to a stop, now only hearing the sound of her heart pounding and the clattering of steps growing closer by the second.

It sounds much too uneven to be footsteps. More like someone is hopping or limping, but at an impossible pace. 

Movement against the fog ahead of her sends Rey backing away, closer to the merciful streetlamp she has stopped beside, though as the shadow from the fog moves closer, she suddenly wishes she had chosen a spot that allowed her to be concealed in the darkness.

A tall, black figure emerges from the fog as if propelled forward, moving at a disturbing pace that makes Rey’s spine go absolutely rigid, her hands curled into fists around her shawl as the figure swoops toward her, like a hawk going in for its prey.

Kylo Ren stands in front of her, pushing her up against the metal gate that is behind her, a wild, hungry grin on his face as he breathes heavily. 

He looks exhilarated, as if he’d been on the ride of his life just now.

“Well, look who I found sneaking about out of bed,” he hums with content while Rey tries her best to unfreeze herself so she can push his wandering hands away. “That’s very naughty of you, my dear. You’ll have to be punished.”

Her breath is stuck in her throat as Kylo’s hips press roughly against hers, pushing her harder against the gate as his hands crawl up her sides.

“What do you think that loathsome red-haired rat will do to you if he finds out you’ve snuck away into the night rather than stay put in your chambers?” Kylo muses, his face leaning closer to hers. “Do you think he’ll have you whipped?”

She finds a bit of regained strength, shoving herself forward to try and push him off, but he only grabs onto the long iron spikes making up the gate behind her, trapping her in his embrace, his body now connecting even more firmly with hers as he pushes her right back where he wants her.

“Perhaps I should whip you myself,” he offers, bringing a gloved finger up to stroke along her throat, his lips an inch from hers. “You might like it.”

“Leave me be, you savage!” she grunts, finally able to unlock her arms from being frozen in front of her chest and pushing him back with all her might. 

He stumbles back a bit, but doesn’t look perturbed in the slightest. 

She wants to run off, to sprint down the dark streets, get as far away from him as possible. 

But he simply stands in front of her, making no further advance, but almost daring her to try and get away. 

“You wouldn’t dare to harm me here,” she speaks, trying to harden her voice to sound threatening, or at least authoritative. 

“Actually my dear, you very foolishly have cornered yourself,” he informs her, the timbre of his voice sending a deep chill through her that is no result from the cold air. “You are completely alone, here on a dark, empty street, with no one nearby who would see a thing happen to you.”

Rey takes another step back from him, desperately trying to ignore the fright in her heart as she readies herself for a possible attack, considering briefly that she very possibly will be forced to fight for her life.

“Oh, you needn’t be so terrified of me,” Kylo scoffs, moving closer to her, cornering her against the gate again, but gently brushing his hands along her arms this time. “I only intend to bring you the utmost pleasure.”

“Why do you pursue me like this?” she asks, her heart now burning with anger. “Surely there’s other lone, defenseless women you should enjoy terrorizing more than me.”

“No,” he answers flatly, his gaze turning from playful to serious in the blink of an eye, which startles her greatly. 

“No?” she questions. “Was it not you who made that woman scream the night I discovered you in the laboratory?”

Kylo seems amused at her accusation.

“That poor widow coming out of her shop late at night? I merely frightened her a bit while walking back through town. While I enjoyed her reaction, it surely wasn’t… intentional.”

Rey is about to tell him what a beastly, unrefined swine he is, when she suddenly feels something covering her hand.

She looks down, raising her hand towards her face, rubbing her fingers together to feel something warm, sticky on them. 

There are stains of red now painting over her left hand, splotched along her skin as if she had stuck her hand against a wall of red paint that had not yet dried. 

Her eyes slowly trail to where she had pushed Kylo away, and to where patches of the same red dye stain clearly, even on his black clothing. 

Gasping in horror, she dodges away from him, shoving into his shoulder with hers as she backs quickly away down the street. 

He just stands, looking patient, as if he were waiting for her to put something together.

“Is this… have you been injured?” she asks with a layer of hopefulness in her tone. 

“Perhaps I have,” he sighs, looking down at himself. “I did come across some rather… dire action in the laboratory this evening.”

These words send a wave of relief through her.

“Or… perhaps I’ve just returned from running across a frightful widow once again. Only this time I didn’t give her the chance to scream.” 

The way Kylo says this, the way he revels in how disgusted she looks at his words, somehow gives Rey the knowledge that this can’t be true. He is simply trying to scare her, as he apparently always will be. 

“It’s quite dangerous for a lovely, respectable young lady to be walking about dark streets at late hours,” he speaks, stepping closer and suddenly offering his hand, as if he were a gentleman. “Do you trust me enough to allow me to escort you back?”

Her eyes narrow with incredulity at his offer. 

“Or would you be curious to see where I’d like to escort you to instead?” 

Rey has had enough of these crude games. Of course Kylo would never do anything to harm her. He just enjoys the sickening power he holds over any frightened soul.

Tugging her shawl tightly around her, she brushes past him, not casting him a second glance, even as she hears his unsettling laughter echo after her as she strides away from the dim glow of the streetlamp, and back into the pitch black night.


	13. Murder, Murder!

The next morning, once Rey is downstairs and there is an excited buzz through the air with servants rushing here and there to gossip with each other about whatever news there is, she is sure it is more horrible rumors about her and her apparent love affair with the doctor and his assistant. 

However, once she catches the words ringing about the house from the hoard of gossipers, she finds the topic of her and the two men couldn’t be further from everyone’s minds. 

She hears it whispered among the servants before actually getting a chance to see the newspaper being passed around all over the house. 

Snoke had been violently murdered in the night. He was found outside his office, his body broken and bloodied to the point where the police can’t even determine if he had been stabbed or beaten to death with a sharp object. 

The papers say that it is suspected to be some sort of revenge murder for a failed business deal, since Snoke apparently had many enemies in his field. 

Rey is ready to believe the man might have simply had many enemies in general. 

“He was always a shady fellow,” people chatter, as if they knew him personally. “It’s no surprise he finally got his comeuppance… not too great a loss to the world, I suppose… I wonder who could have done it… did you hear what the state of him was when they found him…”

It doesn’t take long for Rey to suspect Kylo Ren of the crime. 

She realizes it’s a horrid thought, but all she can think about whenever hearing the details of the grisly murder, is all those horrid writings she had found that included fantasies about murdering Snoke. 

The blood that was on him last night when he had encountered her… 

But it might just be more of her paranoia making the coincidences seem more suspicious than they are. 

Amidst all the commotion, it is easy for Rey to sneak away from the small crowds of gossiping people and her chores in order to hide herself discreetly between a corridor and a shelf full of china near the dining room where Dr. Solo and Mr. Dameron, the man who helps handle the doctor’s money, are conversing vigorously about this sudden event. 

“I’ve gone through the numbers multiple times this morning, Ben,” Mr. Dameron is saying when Rey starts listening in. “You won’t be ruined, but your finances will definitely take a hit if you insist on continuing this experiment as you say.” 

“Nothing is going to change,” the doctor answers, and Rey can see the silhouette of him pacing back and forth through the thin lace curtains that cover the glass walls looking into the dining room. 

“Well then this research of yours had better be the biggest revelation of your career, because now that you’ve lost your biggest sponsor, you’re going to have to dig into all your accounts, including your family fortune.” 

It’s silent for a moment as Rey considers the fact that the doctor seems hardly surprised or saddened by the fact that a life was taken horribly. He seems more irritated than anything else. Then again, she isn’t mourning over the loss either. 

“Are you sure you want to continue with this, Ben?” Mr. Dameron asks. “You know… there is no one else who will fund you.”

“We still have money coming in from Ms. Holdo.”

“It won’t be close to enough. You’ll be putting your entire life on the line, practically. For this research that every expert in this area is sure will fail.”

There is a pause in the conversation, and Rey’s own breath ceases as she listens intently.

“Are you alright, Ben?” Mr. Dameron inquires, concern obvious in his tone. “I’ve never seen you like this before. You used to be… so hopeful about this endeavor. Now I fear you’ve lost something. Something in yourself. Is it because of all the things the Board said to you?”

“People’s opinions of my work have never affected my decisions, Poe. If we need to dig in deeper to my personal accounts, so be it.”

Rey has to quickly leap out of her hiding spot when she hears people coming down the hallway.

She can’t help but wonder about the conversation even hours after she hears it. 

Everyone knows that the Solo family has been blessed with an incredible fortune for generations now. Rey can’t begin to imagine what kind of research the doctor is doing that would require him to knock out a serious amount of his own money. She always figured that doctors had some kind of set of money to use whenever it came to experiments and all of that, money that came from sponsors.

How is no one sponsoring the famous Dr. Ben Solo? He’s never had a failure with any of the medicines he’s invented, at least that Rey knows of. How could someone as seedy and horrid as Snoke be one of the only big sources of value for the doctor’s research?

The day continues down it’s awful spiral when Ms. Holdo shows up in the afternoon. And if Rey had thought the doctor looked annoyed this morning, it’s nothing compared to how he looks when he is informed that Ms. Holdo has arrived and wishes to speak with him. 

Rey herself is shocked to say the least to see Ms. Holdo slinking past the front door, still cloaked in that bizarre fur shawl, looking smug as ever once she sees the doctor. 

“Blessed day, Dr. Solo,” she greets him with her complacent grin.

“We will converse outdoors, Ms. Holdo,” the doctor replies coldly.

The group of servants standing around pretending to work, including Rey, all glance at each other as the two move off towards the back door of the house.

Thinking quickly, Rey decides to rush into the laundry room and quickly fill a basket with laundry, even though this chore isn’t really supposed to be done for another hour or two. 

She jogs outside with the basket of clothes, making sure to keep her head down and trying to look as casual as possible once she’s outside.

She just catches the door to the laboratory closing, where the two must have gone in.

Rey curses under her breath, though she really didn’t expect the two of them to simply discuss important matters concerning the doctor’s research out in the open for anyone like her to overhear. 

Her mind working quickly again, she runs over to the clothesline, setting the basket down.

There’s only a few feet distance between the clothesline and the side wall of the laboratory, so Rey figures that if she goes over and kneels next to one of the windows, she will have enough time to run back over and pretend she’s hanging up the clothes if someone comes outside.

As she kneels down and scoots along the bottom of the windows, keeping her eyes on the silhouettes on the other side, she finds the smallest hole in the glass on the edge of one of the panes.

She presses her ear against it and finds she can just barely make out what the voices inside are saying.

“... so it looks like you’ll be needing me more than you thought you would,” Ms. Holdo is saying. “And I think, since my fellow sponsor has checked out early, I deserve a bit of what his share was going to be.”

“Not unless you plan on putting in more of your own money,” the doctor replies, his tone harsher than Rey thinks she has ever heard it. 

Ms. Holdo laughs slowly in response. Her chuckle sounds almost taunting, as if she knows a secret and is teasing him with it.

“Do you really think you’re the one in charge here, my dear doctor?” she asks him, sounding undaunted by the doctor’s attitude. “I’m sorry to tell you, but for once in your perfect, pristine little life, you are not the one in control of this situation.”

It’s deathly quiet for a few seconds, and Rey finds herself gripping the window pane so hard, her knuckles have turned white. 

“I don’t know who you think you are threatening me-”

“Oh, that wasn’t a threat dear, but I will give you one. I know about much more than I think you’d like me to, and if you aren’t willing to comply with what I demand, I will not be afraid to go to the papers, and even perhaps the authorities and relay all the information I have gathered in the time of this so called research you’ve been doing.” 

“If you don’t even believe in what I’m trying to do, why would you waste your money on it?” he challenges. 

“Because you came to me!” she reminds him, her tone cutting sharp across the air, so loud even Rey jumps a bit. “No one else was going to support your little experiment, and you needed to have Snoke go through all his contacts to drag me up so I could pay for your study, and since you seem to be more than comfortable living by yourself in your big fancy house, I believe you are more than capable of paying me back double, especially now that Snoke is effectively out of the running.”

“Careful, madam,” the doctor replies, keeping his tone controlled, yet with an undertone of hatred cursing through it. “You sound like you have the most motive to get him out of the way. Perhaps the authorities would like to know that.” 

“Oh please, go ahead and try it,” she scoffs. “I have way more on you than you will ever have on me. And if you continue letting your sweet little maid listen in through the window, she’s going to end up with quite a bit of information herself.” 

Rey feels her throat close as her blood seems to freeze in her veins. 

Her first instinct is to race back to the house, but she is frozen, like a statue clinging to the window pane as if it would save her.

She hears the door open to the laboratory and someone take a step out.

“Rey?”

The doctor’s voice is surprisingly calming, causing her body to relax a bit, allowing her to slowly stand up from her perch on the side of the wall.

She wants to bow her head in shame once she approaches the doorway to the laboratory where Dr. Solo is standing, one hand placed on the door frame, the other holding the heavy wooden door open. 

But the look he gives her is not angry or reprimanding. It seems more… gentle. Relieved even. 

Rey isn’t sure what she is supposed to say to him, so she waits to let him speak. 

“Did you need something, Rey?” he asks, as if pretending to be clueless to the fact that she had obviously been sneaking about trying to listen in on his business. 

“If you’re looking for someone to pin this murder on, I’d start with this little rat before you jump in on me,” Ms. Holdo calls out from where she’s standing back in the laboratory. “I think this one’s sneakier than any whore I’ve dealt with in my lifetime.”

For the first time in her life, Rey actually feels like lunging at the woman and attacking her, but she doesn’t dare move an inch, not wanting her or Dr. Solo to see any cruel words get the better of her. 

Instead, she keeps her gaze trained on the doctor, seeing a flicker of something go through his eyes as well before he quickly blinks it away, nodding across the courtyard.

“Perhaps you should get those clothes hung up,” he suggests, ignoring Ms. Holdo’s scoffing behind him. 

“Yes sir,” Rey obeys quickly, not wanting to cause any more trouble than she already has. 

He nods at her, his expression blank before he turns back inside, closing the door behind him. 

Rey berates herself as she mindlessly hangs up the wet clothes to dry, too far from the laboratory to overhear anything now. 

She doesn’t stick around a second later after she has done, hating that her curiosity and possible nosiness had gotten the better of her, and all because she claims to herself that she is simply worried about the doctor. 

Even still, as she goes about the rest of her chores for the day, she can’t help but make sure she is close to a window looking out the side of the house, down where the laboratory is, waiting for the two to finally come out, wondering the state they will be in since they seem beyond hateful towards each other. 

Hours pass, and there is no sign of either of them. Rey wonders if perhaps they had left while she was distracted, but she hasn’t seen the doctor around the house at all, so she is sure he hasn’t come back inside. 

It’s late evening when Rey decides to go see if perhaps the doctor has returned to his office, knowing that by now, the two can’t possibly still be in the laboratory arguing. 

She wants to apologize for her behavior and perhaps try and explain why she was eavesdropping on him and Ms. Holdo, at least that is what she is going to say to him. Really, she wants to just see him, since he looked fairly shaken up when she had left him hours ago. 

Once again, making sure no one is around, Rey goes down the corridor leading to Dr. Solo’s private office, gently knocking on the closed door after taking a deep breath. 

There is no answer, so she knocks slightly harder this time, in case he hadn’t heard her timid rapping.

Still there is no response.

She waits a moment before turning on her heel and preparing to return to her duties, thinking this entire thing ridiculous anyway. 

“Giving up already?” a voice from inside the office calls out. “My, that’s not like you. What happened to sneaking your way in here?”

Rey freezes before she’s taken two steps, recognizing the goading voice coming from the other side of the closed door. 

She slowly turns back, reaching for the door handle and opening the door to the quiet, dimly lit office, where Kylo Ren is perched near the small window looking out over the back of the mansion, right above where her garden lies. 

He looks different than he usually does. Calmer, she’d like to think, even though there is still that dark look about him, as if a shadow constantly accompanies him wherever he goes. 

Rey lets the door close behind her.

“What are you doing here?” she questions him. “Where is the doctor?”

“The doctor is out trying to set his money straight,” Kylo replies, still leaning back casually against the window and keeping his gaze looking down through the glass. “Fool. He should have known trusting a brothel owner to be an honest business partner would come close to ruining him.” 

Rey briefly remembers that Ms. Holdo had been written about in that horrid journal Kylo keeps.

“Have you heard of the murder?” she decides to ask him next. 

“Haven’t we all?” 

He turns his head to look over at where she stands, still close to the door. 

“I’ve not the slightest drop of sympathy for the pig, if that’s what you’re trying to get out of me,” he tells her cooly. “And you shouldn’t either, after what he tried to do with you.” 

“As opposed to what you did with me the other day in the laboratory?” she tries to fire back heatedly, but her voice comes out sounding much more weak than she would have liked once she remembers the intense kiss.

Kylo seems to smile to himself as she stares down at the ground before his eyes slowly melt up towards hers. 

“You never tried pushing me away,” he reminds her. 

“Would you have stopped even if I did?”

“Rey, if the confession you want from me is that my intention is to rape you, you’re not going to get it.”

She is once again shocked to her core at this man’s crude way of speaking. 

He says nothing else, and she keeps her eyes on the wall, away from him.

“I’m not much sorry about it either,” she says honestly. “Snoke, I mean. I know it’s horrid, but I’m not so sorry that he is gone.” 

Sneaking a glance back at Kylo, she sees him nod once, as if impressed with her admission. 

Just as she’s wondering if she should turn around and leave now, he speaks at her again.

“I think I should apologize to you,” he says, and Rey is at first sure that he is joking, but when she looks back at him, she sees a true struggle in his eyes. As if he really is attempting to ask for some kind of forgiveness. “Perhaps I shouldn’t have taken you to the hospital that day. Though I’m not sorry about what happened to that miserable oaf, maybe it was not wise of me to… display it to you in that way.” 

She can tell this apology is killing him, as if it goes against every one of his morals, but Rey can’t help but appreciate his efforts. 

“Thank you,” she expresses gratefully. “Though I… I feel I must admit, I do not feel much sadness for his death. But I did not yearn to see it for myself.” 

“I shouldn’t think you could feel any remorse for such a creature,” he tells her. “With what he did to you.”

Rey doesn’t want to pursue what is peaking her curiosity, but she must get it off her mind.

“Mr. Ren, I… I feel I must ask you… you didn’t have anything to do with his death. Did you?” 

He seems rather taken aback by her question. 

“I did not,” he admits, “though I must say I wish I had. He deserves the cruelty of my hand after what he forced you to endure.” 

“Am I meant to be charmed by your words, Mr. Ren? In reality, they make me quite uneasy.”

He doesn’t say anything, and Rey decides she no longer wants to discuss the topic anyway, even though she also would like to ask him if he perhaps had a hand in Snoke's death. 

“Mr. Ren, may I ask… how exactly are you acquainted with the doctor?” 

Kylo smirks at her. 

“I’m his assistant.” 

“I know that,” she sighs sharply in frustration as he chuckles to himself. “I mean how do you know him, how did you become his assistant?” 

Kylo seems to narrow his eyes at her before answering, as if challenging her.

“We attended the same medical school, for a time. At least until I dropped out to pursue more interesting endeavors. It was awfully boring with the most uppity people.” 

Rey finds herself amused at his response. 

“I was always glad I never had the chance to attend finishing school,” she confesses. “I always thought the people who came from it seemed to be highly irritating. Not unlike your fellow privileged school mates, I’m sure.” 

“A woman like you doesn’t belong in finishing school, surrounded by such careless people.” 

Rey grins as she stares at the ground, suddenly feeling incredibly self conscious, almost bashful. 

Kylo stands up from where he had been perched by the window, walking closer to her now, and she once again feels his overwhelmingly dark presence threatening to overshadow her. 

But there is something far less evil in his eyes than there usually is. Intense, yes, but not evil. 

“I told you of the doctor’s feelings,” he begins as his black eyes burn through hers, making her heart race. “But you must know my own feelings as well.”

Rey’s heart stills at this, her body already frozen in place as Kylo descends closer and closer upon her. 

“I want you, Rey,” he continues after pausing briefly. “I want you for myself. And if I can’t have you, well I think… I think I just might be driven to madness.”

He says this last part with a teasing grin, and Rey isn’t completely sure the man isn’t mad already. 

But something inside her glows at his words. Despite all her reservations about this cruel, dangerous seeming man, she can’t help the pull she feels towards him, especially now when he has spoken these words to her that no one has spoken to her in her life.

She can’t remember ever being wanted by anyone. She’s always been a secondary thing, something extra that is always around. Something that people simply had to deal with. 

But this man wants her. For whatever reason, he is fascinated with her. 

Rey doesn’t know what to say to this. Thank him? Tell him she feels something for him as well? 

She must look like a fool, just standing in front of him with her mouth hanging open in surprise, and with a loss of what to say. 

Kylo looks pleased with this. 

“I don’t know what to say,” she finally admits.

He laughs at this, that dark teasing look glimmering in his eyes once again. 

“Have I really rendered you speechless, my dear?”

His hand reaches up toward her head, his leather gloved fingers lacing through her hair, pulling it painfully. 

His body is so close to her now, their chests hugged against each other. 

“I think you know exactly how you feel about me, but you’re far too afraid to admit it,” he whispers to her in a snake-like voice. “But I want you to know that I _will _have you, Rey. You should know by now that nothing stops me from getting what I want.”__

__Before she can react to this, Kylo is leaning all the way forward and pressing his lips to her again, but only for a moment this time before he releases her._ _

__Rey isn’t sure if he is waiting for a response or not, but feeling panic rise in her just as it had before, she stumbles back to the door, clumsily explaining she has chores to finish, before turning and rushing back out into the hallway, though this time with a much more excited feeling in her chest than before as she hears him laughing after her._ _

__

__She dreams of him that night._ _

__She is alone at first, in a sea of darkness that her and Rose’s bedroom had slowly melted into as she slipped into unconsciousness. Her hands caress a cloud made of cold black silk against her body that has replaced her rough ivory bed sheets she’s usually sleeping on every night._ _

__He appears out of nowhere, as if rising from the darkness itself until he’s suddenly beside her, his black gloved hand slowly closing around her neck, turning her towards him._ _

__She is lost in the abyss of his black eyes, his fingers putting a gentle pressure on her throat that feels more comforting than threatening._ _

__Something between her legs begins to throb almost painfully as Kylo crawls on top of her, his hand leaving her throat and trailing down between her breasts where his fingers curl around the neckline of her nightdress._ _

__Both of his hands begin to make quick work of her gown, tearing it to shreds as Rey lays back on the bed of black silk, unable to take her eyes from the man kneeling above her._ _

__His gloved hands roam all over her naked body, the leather rubbing against her skin in a way that makes her writhe against his touch._ _

__He lays himself on top of her now, his lips crushing against hers, one of his hands pushing against her breast, the other hands slowly rubbing down between her legs._ _

__She moans against his lips, her hips moving to grind against his hand, wanting more._ _

__He chuckles at her desperation, the sound echoing through her head as if she were in a daze._ _

__She soon finds herself laughing as well, a dark laugh that matches his._ _

__Rey wishes she could be lost forever in this, here alone with him, feeling this overwhelming pleasure she’s never experienced before._ _

__Instead, she soon feels herself falling, as if the black silk keeping her suspended before had dropped away in an instant, sending her back down to Earth where she awakens in her own crowded bed, feeling incredibly hot and bothered while Rose sits snickering beside her._ _

__“Having a pleasant dream?” she asks, unable to control her laughter as Rey feels her face heat up. “Good Lord, you were making sounds I didn’t know were possible! I guess all those stories everyone’s making up about you have you all worked up.”_ _

__Rey, instead of answering her, turns over onto her side, yanking the covers up over her, feeling beyond irritated as she presses her thighs together and feels that wonderful feeling sink away faster and faster until it is completely out of reach._ _

__Rose just continues laughing as she too lies back down on her side of the bed, while Rey hopes against hope that she will be transported back to the dream she had been having, feeling slightly delirious after being so suddenly woken up._ _


	14. His Work, and Nothing More

Things are calm for the remainder of the week, but there is an odd feeling in the air. Even when Rey is trying to relax on her day off, she can’t help but feel tense. Not in the sense that she is always looking over her shoulder, but more like the feeling that something is about to happen. 

Come Monday morning, she is sure the horrid event she’s been predicting might be beginning once Thomas, one of the servants, informs her that Hux wants to see her in his office. 

She is positive this is it. Hux has somehow found out that she didn’t heed his warning and she is about to be thrown out. She knew all those rumors would get back to him eventually. 

Her hands are wringing together madly as she takes the treacherous walk to Hux’s private office. His office is far smaller than the doctor’s of course, and far more intimidating, especially now that Rey has been in Dr. Solo’s office multiple times now. 

She almost considers just running away once she arrives at the door and extends her hand to knock softly, but has to proceed through the door once Hux’s irritable voice calls out for her to enter. 

He is sitting at his desk, though she is surprised that he is not immediately glaring up at her once she passes over the threshold. He seems to instead be incredibly busy with the papers in front of him. 

“Can you explain what happened Saturday afternoon?” he demands blandly, not even taking his attention from whatever it is he’s working on. 

Rey tries quickly thinking back to Saturday afternoon. 

It had been unusually normal, if she recalls correctly. Thursday was the day the commotion with the doctor and Ms. Holdo had happened, and then of course her run in with Kylo. 

“I’m… I’m sorry sir, but I’m not sure-”

“The cup,” he clarifies, his goblin-like eyes creeping up to sneer at her. “A cup was broken in the dining room while someone was serving the doctor’s assistant. According to everyone I’ve asked, you’re the one who was in there attending to him.” 

Rey is baffled at the accusation. In a way, she wants to laugh. A month ago she might have been fearful at this beratement, but after thinking she was brought in here to be sacked for having affairs with the doctor and his assistant, this broken cup is the best news she’s ever received. 

“Ah… oh, yes,” she sighs in mock distress. “I’m so sorry sir, I was being awfully thoughtless, and I just…”

“You were clumsy and careless,” he finishes for her sharply. 

He stacks a group of papers against the desk so loudly, Rey actually jumps a bit. 

“I will be speaking with the doctor later this evening to decide how much shall be docked from your wages. That is all.”

Rey has never left a confrontation with Hux feeling happier than this. 

In fact, the entire ridiculous thing has actually lifted her worries a bit. She goes about the rest of her day as if everything is how it was before three weeks ago. Not a single thing odd or out of place, just her going about her duties through the house, her mind completely free of any stress.

The day turns out to be rather enjoyable, if mundane. But Rey adores mundane nowadays. 

It’s late in the evening when the doctor finds her straightening out everything in the dining room (careful to not drop any cups) and asks to speak with her.

He leads her into the study, closing the doors behind them as Rey begins to run her hands down her skirt, even though the ragged old thing will hardly ever come close to looking presentable. 

He stands near the door, crossing his arms before looking up at her as if he’s trying to figure out an extremely hard puzzle, while she stands awkwardly across from him, nothing between them but the comforting silence.

“Why did you tell Hux you broke that cup?” he finally asks, his eyes narrowing a bit. 

“I didn’t tell him, he told me.”

“You didn’t correct him.”

“Why would you think I didn’t do it?” she asks him, cocking her head slightly. She assumed this was going to be a discussion of what her punishment would be, not a debate on whether or not she actually did the crime. 

“You didn’t,” he answers unflinchingly. “Ren broke it.”

Rey is taken aback at his certainty.

“You weren’t even there,” she points out. “Hux said that Ky- Mr. Ren was the only one there. I was serving him.”

“I know he broke it,” the doctor replies. “You are the one that wasn’t around.” 

Rey is unable to argue this, since he obviously somehow knows the truth. So she says nothing more. 

“So why did you take the blame for it?” the doctor pushes, as if the answer is incredibly important to him. 

Rey just shrugs, feeling at a loss.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t know what you want me to say, sir. I didn’t want to cause any more trouble than I already have.”

Now it’s his turn to look caught off guard.

“You haven’t caused any trouble,” he disagrees. Rey can’t help but smile humorously at this. 

“I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but Mr. Hux doesn’t quite care for me. It wouldn’t be wise of me to argue with him about something so trivial.” 

Dr. Solo doesn’t reply to this, instead sighing and moving across the room, until he reaches his arm and leans on one of the bookshelves, still looking as if he’s pondering something deeply.

He looks so distressed. Tired. Like he hasn’t slept well in many nights. 

But most of all, his eyes look so sorrowful. So much that it almost hurts her heart to look at them for too long. 

Unsure of what she’s supposed to do, she simply stands awkwardly in the middle of the room, waiting to be dismissed. 

“Have you grown attracted to Mr. Ren?”

Of all the things she thought he might say next, this is the farthest from her expectations. 

“Sir,” she stutters after a few seconds of not knowing how she is supposed to answer.

“I realize it’s not any of my business, but I have to ask,” he continues, as if that explains it all. “Do you find yourself attracted to him? Or is… does his cruel manner offend you?”

“Why would you ever be curious about such a thing?” she asks back, momentarily forgetting her place. “If you’ll excuse me, sir.”

“I don’t know,” he answers, seeming genuine. “I suppose I just… it’s hard to determine how you feel about him. If I may, it’s quite difficult to determine how you feel about anyone.”

“I’m sorry sir, I’m afraid I don’t understand-”

“You always just go along, doing what’s asked of you,” he goes on, much to Rey’s confusion. “I can never guess what your true feelings are about anything. It’s rather… it’s rather maddening at times.”

Rey isn’t sure if she is supposed to apologize or explain herself. She’s never heard of such a complaint about her before. 

“Sir, I… I’m just one of your maids,” she reminds him. “Of course I have feelings and opinions of my own. But I’m assuming that is not why I was brought to this house.”

The doctor reaches a hand up his forehead, closing his eyes as if suddenly overcome with exhaustion, and Rey nearly walks over to him to make sure nothing is wrong. 

“Of course,” he speaks, his hand running down through his hair. “I didn’t mean to accuse you. You do excellent work here. If you would forgive me, I… haven’t been myself lately.”

Deciding to take her chances, Rey moves a few steps closer to him. 

“There’s no need to apologize, doctor,” she assures him. “Not to me, anyway.”

The doctor, to her surprise, breaks into a small smile at this, for whatever reason, but it is certainly not a joyous one, and it is soon gone from his face, as if the man can’t allow whatever stresses on his mind to be gone for more than a few fleeting seconds.

She wishes she could comfort him somehow, but she has no way of knowing what kind of worries rest in his mind. 

“Doctor… I hope I am not too bold in asking, but… are you alright?”

She tries to get the words out quickly before she has time to hesitate. 

“You haven’t seemed yourself for so long now, I just… you seem sad. You were so hopeful, that day in the study when you…”

He doesn’t look at her, but she can tell he is taking in her words. She sees more pain flicker in his eyes. He wants to tell her something. 

“I suppose I may be throwing myself into my work a bit too much lately,” he replies, but this answer seems like the poorest excuse.

Yet still, Rey isn’t brave enough to push further.

“It’s probably just all in your mind,” she nods in agreement. “Perhaps you should take a few days off. And if you ever are in need of anything…”

She really tries to say it, but she isn’t brave enough for that either. SO instead, she slips easily back into her role of a dutiful servant. 

“I am happy to serve you with anything you should need, sir.”

He just stares at her, and she can’t tell what is behind his eyes. Disappointment maybe, or confusion at her odd actions. 

“Are you afraid of anything, Rey?” he suddenly asks her, sounding more as if he’s talking out loud to himself. 

She senses worriedly that this question is pushing more towards getting her to talk about her past. In truth, that is where most of her fear lies, even though any horrors from her childhood are too far gone to ever reach her now.

Yet there is still something, buried within the terror of her childhood that has continued to be held over her head like a neverending axe that will someday come swinging down upon her.

She is afraid of her future. 

“Nowadays, there is only one thing that scares me like no other,” she begins explaining to him.

He looks down at her now, his eyes taking her in as he seems to listen intently to her every word.

“I’ve always been terrified of the day I die,” she starts. “I know, it’s silly to be so frightened of things that will happen after I am no longer even on this Earth. But… something about the thought of it has always filled me with the coldest feeling. I fear I will die just as I am now. Alone, with nothing. No one will care, and I will simply be a nameless body tossed out that no one should ever think of again.”

She pauses for a moment as that vision comes back, that memory of the moment this horrid fear had begun. 

She was sure she would never share it with anybody, but now she supposes, someone might as well know.

“I remember when I was a young girl… Unkar Plutt, my foster father, would always take me to these strange, horrid places where he had dealings with people I suppose. We went to this house where a woman had just died.”

Rey is startled to feel her spine stiffen as the image comes back to her, clear and precise just as the day she had seen it.

“Her body was stuffed in a closet. It was cold and withered… they were going to leave her there until she all but melted away, because she had no one to claim her, no one to pay for a proper funeral.” 

Rey almost becomes lost in her memory, forgetting who she is talking to, where she is. 

“I’m not sure how old I was at the time, but old enough to understand what it all meant. Anyway, I guess… that is what my greatest fear is.” 

She finds herself almost nervous at what the doctor will say to this. Perhaps she had told him too much, he really didn’t need to know such intimate details of her life. Good Lord, she had almost brought herself to tears in front of him. 

But it had felt ever so comforting to finally speak of it out loud, to someone who simply listened and didn't interrupt in any way. Someone who just let her talk. 

“May I ask you something, Rey?” he inquires, his deep voice feeling soft and adding to her comfort. 

“Of course doctor.”

“Do you know how old you are now?”

This is a question she has been prepared for, since she knew it was inevitable to come across it.

“I don’t, sir. I mean… I suppose I have a fairly good idea. But I’ll never know exactly. I do not know my date of birth.” 

He doesn’t say anything out loud at this, but she can see the look of sorrow in his eyes that gives her enough of an answer on what he thinks of this information. 

His arm then moves toward her, touching against her back as if he were trying to soothe her.

“You shouldn’t worry about such things, Rey,” he says to her as she gapes up at him, feeling small as his arm curls around her. “You’re a very kind and smart young woman. You’ll find your place one day, and you won’t even remember being afraid of something like that.” 

She smiles up at him warmly, though she seriously doubts his promise. Things like that, good things, just don’t happen for people like her, but she of course wouldn’t expect him to know that.

Still, she appreciates his kind words.

“Thank you.”

It’s rather cold once his hand leaves her body and he straightens up, causing Rey to push away the emotional discussion and go back into the mindset where her walls are up, effectively shutting out her past and her childish fears.

“Rey, I… you know tomorrow evening is the annual ball at the Mayor’s home…”

“Yes, of course,” she quickly nods. “Your attire has been prepared and has been delivered to your room this morning.”

“Yes, I know, but…”

“Did you need me to take care of something while you’re away?”

“No, nothing like that, but I… Rey, I was wondering if, perhaps you would like to accompany me. For the evening.”

She is sure she must have heard him wrong. Or, perhaps with this entire strange encounter they’ve had, she must be dreaming. 

“Me?” she asks, her voice hardly coming out above a whisper. “I’m not… sir, I’m hardly the proper person to be attending any ball.”

She almost wants to laugh at the idea of her sticking out like a patch of dirt while surrounded by a slew of rich and well dressed citizens of D’Qar. At the Mayor’s house of all places. 

“I think you would enjoy the evening,” he insists, a small grin beginning to form on his face, and this time it stays in his eyes. “Besides, I think having along a partner of my own would make it far more bearable for me.” 

Her… at a _ball _…__

__What could she wear, her torn brown dress?_ _

__“Sir, you can’t… I mean, you just can’t bring someone like me to a…”_ _

__“Is there a law saying I can’t?”_ _

__“Of course not, but… wouldn’t people be… I don’t know, offended?”_ _

__He seems rather amused at her assumption._ _

__“Rey, I want to bring you because I think you will enjoy yourself,” he repeats. “And it would bring myself great ease. Whether or not you believe it, I rather enjoy your company.”_ _

__Rey doesn’t even have time to become stricken by this comment when she is too busy worrying about the prospect of going to a ball._ _

__A ball!_ _

__Wringing her hands together, she desperately tries to find more arguments of why this is the worst idea possible._ _

__But is it really?_ _

__She’s never gone anywhere exciting in her life. Unless of course the many worlds in her books counted. Things like parties and festivals and balls were things that only existed in fantasies to her._ _

__Of course she’s always dreamed of going to one, but they have always been completely out of reach._ _

__So why should she want to refuse?_ _

__Realizing the doctor is still waiting for her answer, Rey’s hands drop to her sides and she shrugs helplessly at him._ _

__“What in the world would I even wear?”_ _


	15. Facade

Rey is wide awake far earlier than usual, even though she could hardly sleep throughout the entire night. 

She is leaping out of bed only a little after four am, making Rose grumble in annoyance before she slumps back over and falls asleep, not even bothering to ask why Rey is jumping up and getting ready an hour before they have to. 

It’s actually quite nice being up at this time. There are hardly any other servants up and going at this hour, and the ones who are, Rey doesn’t interact with usually, so they pay her no mind as she goes about her business. 

It’s almost completely dark, the clouds blocking even the slightest glow of the sun slowly rising up over the distant mountains. It’s amazing how different everything feels only an hour before she is usually out here.

Everything is completely silent as she goes about her morning duties, getting them all done quickly, but still with efficiency. 

Dr. Solo had told her he would retrieve her a little over an hour before they would leave for the Mayor’s house, so she is determined to have every bit of her work done before then, not wanting to slack off on her duties for someone else to have to handle. 

By the time everyone else has woken up and has started in on their own chores, Rey has already completed all her morning duties.

She even passes by Hux once or twice throughout the morning and is completely unaffected. Nothing will bring her down from her mood today. 

She does make sure however that she doesn’t act out of the ordinary though, so she continues keeping her head down and her mental walls up, as she always does when working. The last thing she needs today is gossip going around about her running off with the doctor for the evening. 

The minutes seem to tick by slower and slower through the afternoon, even while she takes her short break to eat lunch. She hasn’t seen the doctor at all today, but assumes he’s getting everything ready for tonight, doing whatever he does. 

Rey had made sure to ask if Mr. Ren would also be attending, but the doctor assured her he would be otherwise engaged this evening.

She has to admit, she is quite relieved at that since she isn’t sure she would be able to handle him on top of all of the other worries tonight. 

Once the clock has finally chimed three times, Rey spends her last hour mostly sticking by the tall grandfather clock and waiting for the final hour to tick down, and also childishly telling herself she’ll want to stay in one place for the next hour so that it will be easier for the doctor to find her when he wants her. 

Gratefully, it is at four pm on the dot when he appears at her side and discreetly pulls her away for the rest of the night.

She is taken upstairs to his bedroom where he sits her down in front of a mirror and begins slowly untangling her hair out of the messy three buns she always keeps it in.

“This is quite a curious style,” he muses while he sits behind her gently combing her hair out of its tangled mess. “Why do you wear it like this?”

“I’m not really sure sir,” she answers honestly. “I’ve done it ever since I was a child. I suppose I didn’t want to look like everyone else.” 

“I like it,” he replies after a brief moment of silence while he finishes brushing her hair. For some reason, she feels so… vulnerable with her long hair hanging down freely. “And Rey… I think it might be less awkward if… well, you may call me Ben, if you’d like. I never really did care for that “Dr. Solo” business.” 

“You’ve earned that title,” she reminds him. 

“Yes, but I… I think I would prefer it if you would call me Ben.”

Rey can’t help but feel her stomach flip as she sits here with the man who is supposed to be her employer, the master of the house, doing her hair and asking her to no longer address him with his proper title.

After about half an hour, he has done her hair up in a way that makes it look as if it had been swooped up off her shoulders and into an intricate bun, brown strands of her hair hanging elegantly around her face. 

He had also woven small beads that look like pearls into her hair, creating a beautiful pattern along the elaborate hairstyle.

“Where did you learn to do this?” Rey asks in wonder as she turns her head this way and that, holding the handheld mirror he had given in front of her to see the back of her head in the reflection of the mirror on the table. 

“My mother used to spend hours doing up her hair,” he answers as he smiles and watches her amazement. “I would just sit on the floor and watch her when I was young. I suppose some of it is engraved in my brain by now.”

“You really are a brilliant man,” she says, slightly teasing him as he chuckles. “You ought to share your hidden talents with the world.”

“I think the world has enough of my talents.” 

He eventually leaves her to get changed in the gown he had somehow gotten for her.

It fits her perfectly, made of the finest white silk Rey has ever seen, flowing all the way to her feet where she sports shiny ivory slippers. The sleeves only cover her shoulders, and her arms are soon covered by long satin gloves.

Rey never thought she would ever feel like a princess, yet here she is, gazing into a mirror at a beautiful young woman she hardly recognizes. 

This whole thing feels like a fairytale, as if she had suddenly been transformed into one of the characters in her books. She feels as if this is the part in her story where everything finally starts looking up. Everything is going right, for the first time in her life. She is utterly happy. 

Yet she is still left incredibly conflicted about her feelings for the doctor. 

Ben. Why does he want her to call him that?

She’s tried to ignore it for so long now, but she finally begins thinking about what her feelings truly are towards him. And how he might feel about her.

Was Kylo telling the truth? Has the doctor really wanted her for so long?

Rey remembers always picturing falling in love and marrying a handsome prince when she was a child. 

She wonders amusingly to herself if perhaps Ben Solo is destined to be her Prince Charming, but quickly pushes the silly thought aside. She doesn’t want to assume anything from him, and she certainly doesn’t wish to fall right into Hux’s thoughts of her as a bloodsucking witch who wants to worm her way into the doctor’s arms simply for the comfort of his lifestyle.

Once she steps out into the hallway before the doctor, she sees he has changed into his suit for the evening.

She’s seen him dressed up before, so it isn’t quite a shock to see him as he is now, but something about being so close to him, and seeing him gape at her slightly in awe, makes her heart flutter and her brain register how handsome his face is and warm his eyes are when they look at her like that.

“You look beautiful,” he says, and Rey can’t even try and argue against the compliment because of how intense his gaze suddenly turns once he says it.

She can only blush and hug the warm black cloak she was given closely around her.

“I suppose even I can look beautiful when dressed up in such a way,” she admits as she keeps her eyes down at her slippers bashfully. “Where did you ever find such a beautiful gown?”

“It was my mother’s,” he answers her, causing her to look up at him in wonder. “It must have been one of her first ones… most of her gowns were sold off after she died, but this one managed to slip past everyone, I suppose. I don’t know why I never thought to get rid of it.”

Rey feels the delicate material glide through her gloved fingers as she grins.

“You’ll have to forgive me, but anything I’m knowledgeable in about women’s fashion comes from her.”

“It's quite alright. Your mother had good taste.” 

He’s soon leading her down the stairs and quietly out the back door.

Respecting her wish for privacy, Ben had arranged for the carriage that would take them to the Mayor’s house to be stationed a short distance away from his house so that none of the other servants would see them leave together. He also had them all at work either in the kitchen, dining room, or any place that wasn’t in the center of the house so he and Rey wouldn’t have any snooping eyes on them on their way out. 

Rey already feels lost once they approach the carriage and Ben greets the driver briefly before going to open the door, turning and offering his hand to her.

She takes a deep breath before accepting his hand and tentatively setting her foot down on the small little step that is apparently supposed to help her into the carriage. 

It’s half past five in the evening, so it’s too dark to see the thing properly to start. She’s already thrown off by trying to navigate the ground in shoes she’s never worn before, so attempting to balance on this ridiculous, flimsy little step isn’t a successful endeavor. 

Her foot slips the moment she puts weight on it, causing her leg to get caught in the slot between the carriage and the step.

She opens her mouth in a silent scream and before she can fall, she yanks her hand away from Ben’s so she can grab onto the open door with both hands, but after putting her weight on that, she hears it actually creak as if it’s about to break right off the hinges.

Feeling a pair of large hands on her waist, she lets go of the door before she can break it off, allowing Ben to gently lift her away from her predicament until her foot is free from its entanglement and both her feet are safely back on the ground. 

“I’m off to a promising start,” she mutters, wanting to pull her cloak over her head and hide. 

“That was quite a fall,” he admits, chuckling a bit as his hands slowly fall from her waist. 

“Would you mind very much if you got in first?” she asks. “I think I require visual instruction.” 

He grins at this, before nodding.

“Of course.”

She watches, trying not to be bitter when she sees him step up into the carriage effortlessly.

He leans out a bit to help her up while she makes sure to steady herself and keep her foot centered on the step so she doesn’t slip off again. 

It’s almost heavenly once she is seated safe and sound inside the carriage across from Ben.

“Obviously I’m better at cleaning steps than walking on them.”

“It takes a while to master,” he admits as he grins amusedly at her. 

In just a few seconds, once Ben has signaled the driver, they are off to the Mayor’s house. 

Rey can’t help but stare out the window next to her, feeling a kind of thrill in her stomach as she watches the town pass by as they roll along, feeling the rather comforting shudder of the carriage. 

She’s never traveled like this before. She’d been on a train once to get to D’Qar from Jakku, but that was so long ago, she can hardly recall the details. 

After a few minutes, she notices Ben watching her with fascination as she marvels at the mode of transportation. 

“I feel like royalty,” she says out loud, feeling a bubble of excitement go through her. “I’ve never done anything like this before.”

“I’m glad to see you so happy,” he replies, sounding genuinely touched by her childlike wonder. 

She curls her gloved hands on her lap, staring down at her impossibly beautiful attire. 

“Doctor- I mean, Ben… I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, how I’m supposed to act. I don’t… I’m not going to be like you or anyone else there, I don’t even know how I’m supposed to talk… I don’t even know what you’re supposed to do at a ball.”

“As long as you look the part, you’ll blend right in,” he reassures her. “And you won’t have to worry about speaking to anyone, they’ll probably just ask who you are, and you’ll simply tell them your name and that you arrived with me for the evening. Trust me, I don’t converse much at these things myself.”

“Really?” she grins.

“Hardly at all,” he shakes his head. “Though I unfortunately will certainly have to speak more than you do.” 

She knows that is no doubt true, especially now that he has his mysterious new experiment going on. 

“People will probably talk when we first arrive,” he warns her. “Maybe even throughout the night. But there is no need for you to worry about any of it. I brought you with me tonight to enjoy yourself. And to keep my company so that I might not lose my sanity with these people.”

Rey smiles, starting to blush again.

“I should be most happy to be of service.” 

The rest of the journey to the Mayor’s house is devoid of any more conversation, though Rey finds herself longing to ask if there is any other reason Ben had wanted to bring her with him. 

She figures it might be a bit of an intrusive question. 

Once the carriage pulls up to the large mansion, along with a fairly grand line of carriages, Rey’s heart really begins to race with anxiety. 

There are steps that look miles long across leading up to the Mayor’s mansion, that looks closer to a palace than a house.

It’s keening with golden light pouring from all the hundreds of windows, and there are people scattered all over the place, stepping out of carriages and walking up towards the mansion. 

Things seem to move so fast, she hardly has time to get herself together before someone is pulling the door to their carriage open, and Ben is stepping out onto the ground before turning back and holding his hand out for her.

Her eyes widen at him in terror that she now has to try and get out of this thing with tons of people all around.

But he simply nods his head, his eyes boring into hers with encouragement, silently promising her she can do this.

Setting her jaw, she reaches out and takes his hand, pretending she knows exactly what she’s doing.

She steps out of that carriage as if she’s done it a million times, and doesn’t turn a single head.

Rey has to smile a bit to herself with pride, and Ben returns the expression.

He then turns and extends his arm, a gesture Rey has certainly seen before, but never had to do.

She stares at him for a moment while hesitantly extending her arm to meet his, not entirely sure where or how she is supposed to place it. 

He offers her another soft smile before reaching over with his other hand and gently taking her arm, showing her how to hook it with his. 

Glancing over at other ladies with their respective gentleman around her, Rey holds her gown up away from her shoes in the same way they do once she and Ben begin ascending the miles of steps up to the grand mansion, shaking internally the entire way. 

She has no idea what to expect once they step through those doors, but she knows that, if she has had trouble simply with her form of dress and stepping in and out of a carriage, anything else from here is going to be far from a walk in the park. 

Her palms begin sweating profusely as her gloved hand grips Ben’s arm so tightly, she’s surprised he hasn’t asked her to settle down. 

“See there?” he gestures up toward the open front doors.

Rey peers past the line of people passing through the broad entrance to the manor, seeing them all stop briefly to greet two people, a middle aged gentleman dressed in a fairly exuberant suit with many shining badges, and a woman beside him draped in a gown that looks to be made of glittering gold fabric.

“That is Mayor Pryde and his wife, Emma,” Ben explains, causing Rey to want to dig her feet into the ground and run right back down the stairs they had come up. “All you have to do is smile and shake their hands. I can introduce us if you prefer.” 

She is ever so grateful for his offer, but despite all her nerves, she would feel terribly silly if she were too clumsy to even say her own name.

“I think I can do it,” she tells him quietly as they get to the platform and stand in line to walk past the threshold. Her tone of voice does not make her sound so confident, but Ben doesn’t protest. 

Rey spends the remaining moments they have before walking through the front doors staring down at the tip of her gown trailing over the ground as she prepares to straighten up her posture and pretend as if she had been born a proper and fortunate young lady. 

“Ah, Dr. Solo,” Mayor Pryde greets with a rather impressed smile as the two of them finally approach and the two men shake hands. “I was hoping to see you tonight.”

“Of course Mayor Pryde, it would be quite foolish of me to miss the biggest event of the year,” Ben offers him back a polite grin. 

“And finally with a fine young lady of your own,” the Mayor’s wife speaks up as she immediately eyes Rey latched onto his arm while Ben takes her gloved hand in his and places a kiss on the top of it. 

“Mrs. Pryde,” he greets before turning slightly to give Rey a subtle nod.

She doesn’t hesitate for a moment before putting a delighted smile on her face. 

“Rey Darlington,” she introduces herself, stepping forward and extending her hand assertively. 

“A great pleasure, Miss Darlington,” Mayor Pryde greets, taking her hand and kissing it politely. 

“So lovely to finally see the doctor bring along a friend to the party,” the Mayor’s wife smiles brightly as Rey shakes her hand. 

“I hope you two enjoy yourselves this evening,” the Mayor gives a final nod before the next couple steps up behind them and Rey and Ben are off onto the party after handing their cloaks off to the butler. 

“That was so easy,” Rey muses to herself in disbelief. 

“I’m glad you were able to take charge, Miss Darlington,” Ben grins down at her.

“Oh… a surname of one of the characters I used to read about as a child,” she explains to him. “I always thought it sounded so beautiful and rich. I don’t know, I couldn’t think of anything else.”

“I think Rey Darlington is a splendid name,” he tells her. “Certainly someone I am proud to have by my side tonight.” 

Rey is unable to contain her broad, eager smile.

“Anyway, you’ll fit right in now,” he informs her. “Everyone here might as well have false names, since nothing else about them is real. They may all pretend to be intimidating, but most of them probably have about as much power as any common servant…”

His voice falters toward the end of the sentence, and a frown strikes across his face.

“I’m… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…”

“You needn’t worry about offending me,” she reassures him. “I am well aware of my position and am not easily insulted.”

He smirks, and she grins heartily up at him.

“But it sounds as if I don’t have much to worry about, according to your knowledgeable assessment. In that case… I am well prepared to enjoy the evening, as you suggested.” 

Now that she has fallen into her role, all her nervousness has washed away, and she is alight with excitement as she and Ben venture deeper into the gorgeous home.


	16. Someone Like You

Every inch of the place is lit with bright candles that glow with an almost heavenly light, making the shining polished floors and furniture alight with a luminous golden glow. 

Musicians play joyous music that sends a stream of elation through the air, everyone either chatting and laughing, or dancing merrily in the main ballroom that is lit by the biggest crystal chandelier Rey has ever seen in her life. 

She is amazed and touched by all this happiness and laughter, a truly wondrous sight she has never experienced before. 

She doesn’t quite know what to do with herself, so for now, she would prefer to simply stand off to the side and watch everything happening in front of her, since there is ever so much to take in.

Ben seems as if he isn’t sure what to say to her, so he sits beside her at the small empty table they had found and allows her to take everything in.

Soon after they had sat down, a white haired man in a long tailed coat sweeps by with a tray full of tall glasses filled with light gold liquid.

Ben reaches up and takes two glasses, nodding at the servant in thanks before he saunters off. 

“Have you ever tried champagne before?” Ben asks her as he hands her a glass and she brings it close to her face to inspect the strange looking drink.

“Of course not,” she replies, almost unable to fathom the fancy drink she is holding in her hands. “I’ve only seen you and your guests drinking it at your gatherings.”

He laughs at this while Rey quickly brings the glass to her lips, taking a confident gulp as if she were drinking a simple glass of water.

She nearly sputters the disgusting liquid across the room once it starts burning down her throat and filling her mouth with the most horrid flavor she could ever imagine. 

She coughs as she feels the aroma of it linger straight up into her nose while Ben reaches out awkwardly, unknowing how to help her.

“You’re meant to _sip _,” he corrects her as she shakes her head roughly in an attempt to knock even the memory of the flavor out of her body. Ben is unable to hold back a silent chuckle.__

__“Good Lord,” Rey finally chokes out, touching a hand to her throat. “Why does it taste like acid?”_ _

__“It’s an acquired taste,” he admits as she sits back up properly and he takes a small sip from his own glass before shrugging. “Personally, I’ve always found its reputation to be a bit exaggerated.”_ _

__Rey agrees._ _

__She decides to go back to being endlessly entertained by the sights in front of her, her eyes staying on specific couples through all the dances, awed by the many gorgeous gowns and exotic hairstyles._ _

__Though she still believes her hair looks the prettiest._ _

__“Ben Solo, I just knew you wouldn’t be able to stay away!” a voice suddenly hollers over the music, close enough to them to make Rey startle slightly as she turns her head to see the man coming their way._ _

__“You wouldn’t have let me hear the end of it if I elected to stay at home, even though I have miles of work I should be attending to,” Ben answers._ _

__Rey recognizes the curly haired man as Poe Dameron._ _

__His excitable gaze takes no time at all to land on her, and a broad smile is soon plastered over his face._ _

__“Well well well,” he sighs, shaking his head a bit as he looks at Rey as if she were a treasure in a coal mine. “Are you meaning to tell me, after all these years of being the most isolated man at every party, you’ve finally found yourself a partner?”_ _

__Rey smiles a bit as she looks over to see Ben actually begin to turn red._ _

__“Rey, this is Poe Dameron,” he changes the subject quickly. “Poe, this is Rey.”_ _

__“An absolute pleasure, you have no idea,” Poe greets her before kissing her hand. “My immense joy that our dear doctor finally isn’t sitting alone by himself and watching everyone else with complete jealousy.”_ _

__“I am not jealous,” Ben mutters._ _

__“Good to meet you, Mr. Dameron,” Rey greets him back, wondering if he would recognize her as one of the maids who works in the doctor’s household._ _

__If he does, he gives no indication._ _

__“And where is one of the many young ladies you bring with you every evening?” Ben asks him._ _

__Poe places his hands on his hips, and Rey thinks it amusing to see someone dressed up like a perfect gentleman, but looking so improper. It makes her feel slightly better about her own situation._ _

__“Actually, I’ve brought along three very amusing companions this night,” Poe clarifies as Ben slowly nods his head and raises his eyebrows curiously. “Maisie, Eliza, and Anna, they have all been great fun so far.”_ _

__He suddenly turns back to the floor full of dancing people, scanning quickly before seeming to locate whatever it is he is looking for._ _

__“Care to dance, my dear?” he asks, turning back to face Rey and offering his hand._ _

__Rey looks back over to Ben who has a look on his face she can’t quite read._ _

__“Oh, don’t worry about him, he never dances to any of the happy dances,” Poe insists, reaching out to grab Rey’s hand off of her lap and drag her right out of her seat and sweep her off onto the floor._ _

__She feels as if she had been suddenly shoved in a whirlwind._ _

__Poe pulls her along rapidly through the mass of people dancing some sort of collectively known routine to the beat of the quick paced music._ _

__Rey finds herself holding her breath as she zooms past the dozens of people that seem to rush in at every angle, until she is finally brought to a stop and finds herself standing along with Poe and three other women who all begin to take hands, forming a circle._ _

__One of the women grab onto Rey’s right hand, and Poe takes her left, and soon, they are all moving and skipping around to the music, doing the same dance everyone else seems to know as if they had all come in here before and rehearsed it._ _

__The dance seems to move faster and faster, all of them having to switch places every now and then and twirl around, clapping to certain beats in the music and turning to dance briefly with the person next to them._ _

__Rey is beyond nervous at first, but the feeling only lasts seconds._ _

__Soon, she finds herself completely lost in the music, exhilarated at the upbeat dance, not taking long to catch onto the pattern of the steps._ _

__She laughs giddily along with everyone else as she jumps and claps and twirls with her circle of people, people she doesn’t even know, but it somehow doesn’t matter._ _

__Their circle becomes their own little world, nothing but the music filtering in, all of them laughing and dancing with each other as if they have been friends for years._ _

__It is a feeling of pure euphoria that Rey can feel shooting through every inch of herself._ _

__She wishes it could go on forever._ _

__But eventually, the music hits one final beat, and everyone applauds loudly after the energetic dance._ _

__Rey’s heart is beating madly as the intoxicated smile stays on her face and the music begins to melt into a slow, romantic tune and everyone in the ballroom begins to get into the proper dancing positions with their partners for the waltz._ _

__Two of the three girls scoot off to the side of the room while Poe partners up with one, promising the other two they will all switch off._ _

__Rey backs away slowly to get out of everyone’s way, still coming off her high from the dance before as she watches with amusement while Poe and his three companions all gracefully find a way for the girls to trade spots during the dance._ _

__After a moment or two, she feels a hand on her waist._ _

__She jumps slightly when she turns around to see Ben standing behind her, his eyes looking cautious, as if he doesn’t know how to ask what he wants to ask, but Rey can understand him anyway._ _

__She of course is too unsure to say anything herself, so the two simply have a silent agreement._ _

__He leads her out onto the floor, keeping one hand on her waist, the other he uses to hold her right hand._ _

__After taking a quick glance at the other couples, Rey places her free hand on Ben’s shoulder, biting her lip a bit in fear as she has no idea when they are supposed to jump in and start dancing, scared that she will immediately get knocked over somehow if he steps forward too fast._ _

__But he moves slowly at first, giving her enough time to catch up with him and match her steps with his._ _

__She keeps her eyes directly on the ground for the first minute, unable to determine what direction they will be moving unless she can see where his feet are going next._ _

__But it’s not long before he takes his hand off her waist and touches her chin with his fingers, lifting her head up to face him again._ _

__Once there, she is held captivated by his stare as he returns his hand to her hip and they begin moving more on beat with the strings of the music, sweeping across the floor as everyone else is._ _

__Again, she is lost in a completely separate world than everyone else, but this time is so different. It feels as if there is a silent, firm grip on her heart, making her breath quicken as she is locked in Ben’s arms, in his stare._ _

__His face looks so much less exhausted and sad than it has the past few times she’s seen him._ _

__The way he looks at her now sends a thrill down her spine, her heart swelling as his eyes seem to bore into her, welcoming her into him and asking to be welcomed into her._ _

__She wants him. She wants to forever be lost in this feeling she shares with him, a feeling only the two of them experience amidst this room with so many happy people._ _

__Has she been so in love with him all this time? How is she only noticing now?_ _

__Does he feel the same way?_ _

__She wants to believe he does as she looks at him now while he’s leading her across the ballroom, nothing but the music filling their ears and seeing nothing but each other._ _

__The dance ends far too soon, even though it probably went on for minutes._ _

__Even after everyone has begun to disperse and someone comes in to announce the commencement of dinner, Rey and Ben stand still, their hands still locked onto each other, as if waiting for the music to start again._ _

__

__The dining room is every bit as brilliant as the rest of the manor. The table stretches all along the entire hall, which feels miles long in order to seat all of the guests._ _

__The Mayor and his wife of course are at the head of the table, and everyone seems to take their place around and down the table based on importance, Rey guesses._ _

__She has to let Ben lead her to their place, since she isn’t in on the seating arrangement._ _

__Dinner turns out to be the most delicious meal Rey has ever tasted._ _

__Steaming corn, potatoes and the most delectable meat in existence. There is also fruit and milk, which Rey is happy to take over the champagne._ _

__She really tries not to swallow all of the food down in just a couple of bites, but she suddenly feels as if she’s been starving all her life and she’s finally begun to eat real food for the first time ever._ _

__It reminds her of when she ate her first hot meal during her first job serving a house in D’Qar after eating nothing but cold mush all throughout her childhood._ _

__There is tons of chatter around the table, but Rey mostly ignores it all since she really doesn’t understand any of it and it doesn’t concern her anyway._ _

__Ben also seems to not join in on any of the conversation, until his name is suddenly called out by one of the haughty looking men sitting near the Mayor who has looked incredibly self important all evening._ _

__“Well Dr. Solo,” he begins, causing Ben to, rather reluctantly, turn up toward the smug looking man._ _

__Rey looks up as well._ _

__“I seem to recall you going on about some new little study you were all excited about,” he continues as others around the table begin to listen in. “No one has heard much from you since, are you… working on something in particular?”_ _

__Rey can see Ben stiffen a bit, as if he would rather talk about anything else with anyone else._ _

__“I am continuing with the idea I previously presented to you and your colleagues,” he replies._ _

__This answer seems to be quite a hoot to the snobbish man, but the rest of the table slowly grows into a cold silence, as if Ben’s answer had struck something with everyone across the table, something that Rey isn’t in on._ _

__“And how did you ever manage to secure funding for such an experiment?” another man speaks up from across Rey and Ben, his eyes looking filled with confusion and fear as they look upon the doctor._ _

__“I was able to find support from several smaller businesses,” he answers vaguely, and after seeing his face, Rey wishes she could do something to direct this conversation away from him, even though she too is curious about his mysterious research._ _

__There’s still a hum of disturbed silence throughout the table, though people begin murmuring to each other in disapproval._ _

__“I think it’s a rather brilliant idea,” Poe suddenly speaks out from the far end of the table where he’s sitting with his three lady friends._ _

__Everyone looks over to him now, but he doesn’t seem bothered by the attention._ _

__“I mean, it may not be a traditional idea,” Poe goes on once he gains the recognition from everyone at the table, “but since when has our great doctor come up with any of his fantastic solutions without thinking outside the box? Finding a way of… isolating and repressing the evil in human beings would make the world a better place to live in, would it not?”_ _

__If there was a disturbed murmur going through the guests before, it certainly grows now._ _

__“It is a fantasy!” one of the men speaks out, sounding much more outraged than anyone else seems to care to admit. “There is no possible way to achieve such a thing, and to try is a foolish waste of resources.”_ _

__“I assure you, I have gotten quite far in my research,” Ben mutters as his eyes narrow at the man. “I’ve spent years on the experiment, and I’m closer than I ever have been before…”_ _

__“You only wish to play God,” another protests. “Separating good and evil… how disgusting of you to presume such a preposterous idea.”_ _

__“It is simply unnatural,” another man speaks up, a disgusted look plastered on his face. “It’s a dangerous, and ungodly thing to be playing around with. Good and evil in men, hmph.”_ _

__Rey can hardly bear to hear anymore. Half of her is shocked about finally finding out what the subject of the doctor’s study is after Poe so openly threw it out into the air, and she’s glad no one here is curious in asking her opinions of it, because she honestly doesn’t know._ _

__But she can hardly focus on anything else besides this entire table of people suddenly turning against this doctor who has done nothing but good in all his career._ _

__She finds herself wanting to stand up and give everyone a piece of her mind. Maybe even throw a plate at some of these pompous looking fools._ _

__“And why should I give a damn what any of you think?!” Ben suddenly snaps, his entire aura changing from meek and embarrassed, to angered and enraged, his palm slamming against the table, shaking the glasses and silverware. “I’ve been doing this research by myself for months now, and without any help from any of you!”_ _

__The entire room is dead silent now._ _

__Thankfully, the Mayor decides to change the subject, quickly beginning to talk about something related to business overseas. Since he’s the Mayor, no one questions the shift in conversation, and everyone slowly begins to awkwardly take their focus off of the doctor._ _

__Rey doesn’t know what to think. She is afraid to even steal a glance at Ben, nor does she really want to look at anyone else, or for anyone here to look at her, since she no doubt looks like a ghost at this point._ _

__She feels suddenly sickened by the horrid turn the evening has taken, and wishes nothing more than to go back into that private moment she and Ben had shared while dancing, wishing everything else to simply be nothing but a nightmare._ _


	17. Streak of Madness

It’s quiet on the rickety carriage ride back to the doctor’s house. Ben hasn’t spoken a word since dinner and Rey hasn’t wanted to bother him. She’s afraid he’ll snap at her as well, but she also realizes he probably won’t benefit much from anything she has to say. 

But it’s so horrid for it to be so silent throughout the entire ride, Rey can hardly stand it. 

She still hasn’t been brave enough to look at him, but after several prolonged moments of dead quiet, she takes a chance and allows her voice to break through the cold silence ringing through the carriage. 

“Why did you bring me here tonight?” she asks, still looking out the window. “It can’t have been just because you wanted me to have a night out of the house.”

He doesn’t answer for a while, and Rey starts to think he is just going to simply remain quiet, so she goes back to focusing her attention on the sound the wheels make on the cobblestone streets. 

“I suppose I’m just tired of always being alone.”

Now she turns to look at him after hearing him speak, though he is still looking blankly out the window, pale as a ghost. 

He doesn’t continue, so she tries to think of something to say to that, but she’s always been the absolute worst at comforting people. She can hardly comfort herself.

“I think your idea is a good one,” she offers, feeling as if things are a little better as long as she keeps speaking, whether he likes it or not. “I mean… it’s certainly a strange idea of course, but… I think it could do a lot of good. Just like all of your studies.” 

He finally slowly turns his head toward her, and she’s happy to see his expression not look so sick as it did before, but his eyes are back to looking impossibly sad and tired, any of the hope and happiness that had briefly glinted through them tonight, only a memory.

The carriage stops in the same place they had boarded it, so there is a bit of a walk back to the house. Silent again, but more of a tired silence than an angered one.

But once they have snuck through the back door, they find the state of the house is anything but quiet.

Everyone seems to be in a flurry, running all over the place and whispering to each other, when it’s far too late for them all to still be up and about.

Rey is just barely able to sprint off into the hallway leading to Ben’s office, keeping herself hidden away in the shadows while she tries listening to what is going on.

“Doctor!” she hears the butler call out as Ben is dragged from her line of sight. “You must come quick…”

“Where have you been?” Hux’s irritable voice rings out, making Rey grit her teeth in annoyance. “There are investigators waiting to speak with you.”

“Mr. Hux, would you be willing to explain to me what has happened?” Ben asks, any events from earlier this evening hidden under a tone of concern as he sees his staff in hysterics. 

“Ms. Holdo was found murdered this evening,” Hux tells him, sending a wave of shock and horror through Rey. “The investigators would like to talk with you about the last time you saw her, since she came by to visit that day…”

Rey doesn’t have to look at Ben’s face to know what his reaction is to this news.

It’s of course not quite clear, but if there are detectives here wanting to question him at this hour of the night so soon after the murder, they must be suspicious of him.

When she knows the real person they should be questioning. 

Any affection or passion that had so horridly come over her for that dreadful man is swept away when she feels a sudden swim of anger towards Kylo Ren, almost as if she’s certain he is the one who has caused all of this trouble, even though there is little proof of it. It’s just a feeling, a sensation that he brings along wherever he goes, like he wants to start trouble and disaster. Like he wants to hurt something.

Rey is unable to move from her spot for a while since the staff continues to mill about the hallway. She’ll have to go down to get to the stairs to the servant’s quarters, so she stays huddled up in the dark, praying no one will happen down this small corridor. 

She nearly stumbles over herself trying to hide behind one of the locked doors once she hears someone come stomping down towards the hallway, but everything seems to be locked, even though she swears they’re all broom closets. 

Luckily, it’s only Ben.

He bounds down the hallway, looking almost sinister as his silhouette covers any light coming from the rest of the house. 

She stands still as he moves past her, going to the door of his office and throwing it open before marching inside.

He doesn’t close the door behind him, so Rey hesitantly follows in behind him. 

As she closes the door, she sees Ben pacing around the center of the office, his movements going at strange speeds, fast one moment, then slow the next. 

“Did the detectives question you?” she asks him when he doesn’t say anything to her for a while.

“I convinced them I could come in and answer their questions tomorrow morning,” he answers, his voice sounding heavy and disturbed, as if he were having trouble breathing. 

“Well… do you know what happened?”

“They found her at her brothel in one of the rooms,” he speaks, his hands wringing together so hard, she swears he is trying to break his fingers. “There was blood everywhere… she was stabbed, and… and beheaded.”

Rey’s hands go to her mouth, a jolt of horror trembling through her at the gruesome news. 

“Who would do such a thing?” she whispers so quietly, she thinks Ben won’t hear her. 

“There were… she didn’t exactly have many friends-”

“But who could hate her enough to do something so monstrous?”

Rey keeps pushing, because she already knows. And she can see it in Ben’s eyes, now, as if she can read his mind. 

“Ben?”

“I can’t,” he begins muttering, his pacing slowing down again, his hands wringing together. “I can’t…”

“It’s Kylo Ren who’s doing this, isn’t it?” she asks as she walks closer to him. 

He doesn’t look up from the ground, his eyes filled with a look so horrific, Rey doesn’t want to ever picture whatever it is he’s thinking.

“He’s grown out of control,” he says, his voice sinking to a whisper. “I can’t control him anymore…”

Rey carefully places her hand on his back, trying to get him to come out of whatever frenzied state he’s entered. 

“Then why didn’t you tell the detectives?” she asks. “Why don’t you turn him into the police?”

Ben doesn’t answer and still doesn’t look up at her. He just shakes his head, his eyes narrowing in desperation. 

“Ben, he’s… he’s a murderer. He may have killed people who weren’t exactly stand up citizens, but… he still needs to be locked up. Because now they’re going to blame you.”

She prays she is somehow getting through to him, placing her hand on top of his to get him to stop twisting his fingers. 

He finally lifts his eyes from the ground, looking at her with so much pain and distress.

“I can’t,” he repeats to her, looking as if he hates admitting it to her. 

“Why not?” she demands, desperate to understand what it is that has this awful control over him. 

“I don’t have any authority over him, Rey,” he tells her, his eyes begging her to somehow understand. 

Before she can answer, Ben falls to his knees.

Everything about him looks truly lost and broken as Rey stands above, looking down upon him. 

She kneels down beside him as he stares helplessly at his hands, as if he were somehow looking for an answer to something.

His head slowly rises up, his eyes staring into something across the room, his eyes alight with a deep horror that makes Rey’s insides curl.

She follows his gaze to see him looking into his own reflection coming from the glass window just a few feet away from where they now kneel.

“Have you ever wondered… what lives inside your mind?” he asks her, speaking more as if he weren’t really talking to her at all. 

His hand suddenly raises up, touching against his cheek, as if he didn’t believe in the reflection he was seeing, though in Rey’s eyes, he looks just as he always has. 

“Do you ever wonder if you’re even… if you’re really the person you think you are?” he questions further, a tear running down along his face. “Rey… I feel I’m being torn apart. I feel my heart isn’t even my own anymore, I… I can’t control myself.”

Something about his words makes Rey wonder if there is something else wrong with him. Maybe to others he sounds raving, a hysterical fool. But there is a sadness that perhaps reaches deep into his heart, maybe somewhere she can’t reach. 

“You’re a good man, Ben,” she speaks gently, amazed how he could question himself like this. “You are not responsible for the actions of others. And to think you have the power to influence every little thing… it will surely drive you mad.” 

He still doesn’t look away from the window, and it frightens her. How scared, how defeated he feels. She can feel it too. 

Rey wonders when this all became so horrible as she reaches out to gently wrap her arms around his shaking form. 

To her surprise, he leans into her, his head coming to rest against her chest. 

Her hand slowly raises up to his hair, brushing through it while she holds her breath, listening to hear if he is crying. She wouldn’t know what to do if he starts crying. She’s not really sure what to do now. But holding him like this seems to be fine by him. 

So she stays like this with him, not willing to move an inch until she is sure he will be alright.


	18. Once Upon a Dream

The next morning is so somber compared to what joy Rey had in her heart the last morning she had awoken. No one seems to talk much, no doubt disturbed by the second grisly murder that had happened just within the past week. 

Rey just feels angry. She can’t decide if she is simply angry at Kylo Ren, angry that Ben seems to be so beside himself with no clear solution, or angry at becoming involved in the entire situation. 

All night while she was supposed to be sleeping, she racked her mind to try to think of some way to help Ben with all of this, to get him to open up to her. But the more she learns of this mess, the more she begins to fear there is no way for her to help, no way to get him to reveal what is truly wrong. 

All she wants to do is try and relieve him of whatever pain he seems to be in. But she feels even further away from him now, despite how close they seem to have grown. 

She has gone about the day going through her chores as if in a trance, her consciousness feeling as if it is miles away from here.

So when she catches sight of Kylo Ren standing at the top of the stairs she is climbing to get to the attic, she nearly falls backwards in shock, thinking herself completely alone in her own little world by this point in the day. 

She takes one glance at his venomous expression leering down at her from above, like a black crow ready to descend upon its meal, and turns away, not wanting to stare at the horrendous man another moment.

The sound of his footsteps clamoring down the rickety stairs after her sends her heart racing madly in her chest. She drops the bucket of supplies she had been intending to bring up here, hearing them tumble down a couple stairs as she tries to leap away as fast as she can while also trying not to trip on the old wooden steps. 

She feels him getting closer and closer, somehow flying down the crooked steps after her as she shakes with fear, feeling as she does in her nightmares when she’s running in slow motion, unable to get away from whatever malicious force is chasing after her. 

Rey knows even before feeling the arm around her waist that he has caught her.

Unable to contain her shriek of terror, she claws at the strong arm that has grabbed her, kicking her feet as Kylo’s other arm wraps around her hips, lifting her right up off her feet as if she weighed nothing. 

Her back presses up against his chest as he carries her right back up the stairs until they reach a small platform where he then sets her down roughly before spinning her around to face him.

She shoves her palms against his chest, not caring at the moment if she sends him tumbling all the way down the stairs, but he doesn’t budge, instead catching her wrists in his hands, as if he were swatting away a bothersome fly.

In a second, he has gathered her wrists in one hand, pinning her arms up above her head, and pushing his other hand against her hip, his body resting almost completely on top of hers, trapping her against the wall. 

He sighs as he looks upon her, shaking his head as if in disappointment.

“You always seem to be running from me, my lovely Rey,” he scolds. “Pity. I thought we had been making such progress with each other.” 

“If you don’t let go of me, I’ll scream,” she hisses at him, glaring daggers right back into his cold black eyes. 

“And why would you ever want to do that?” he questions, a smile creeping over his lips, his expression feigning innocence. 

“You’re a murderer,” she accuses, no longer caring about her lack of evidence or confirmation. “You killed them. You killed those two people in cold blood.”

He smiles playfully, as if this were all an amusing game to him.

“Just two? Wait until they find the bodies of those uppity, foul mouthed councilmen and lawyers… I’d like to see them ever try to deny the doctor again after what I’ve done to them.”

Rey shudders in horror as she glares at him with disgust, terrified by his touch. 

“How can you be so cruel?” 

He cocks his head at her, but not in confusion. More as if he hadn’t expected her to say what she had said.

“Tell me something, my dear,” he speaks as he shifts his position so that the hand on her hip moves up to her face, brushing a wisp of her loose hair behind her ear. “Do you think someone like Snoke deserves to live?”

She narrows her eyes as his gloved fingers begin tracing patterns along the side of her face, his touch so delicate for a psychotic murderer.

“Someone who did what he did to you, who no doubt would have done much worse if you hadn’t gotten away? Do you know how many beaten and broken women he has left in his path? How much money he has stolen for himself from vulnerable men desperate for his help? Imagine how much he would have stolen from our poor little doctor had he lived long enough.”

Rey doesn’t answer, only able to stare at him in horror and disbelief.

“Or should someone like Holdo be allowed to go on, allowed to continue forcing hundreds of lost young girls to live unspeakable lives until they’re eventually raped and beaten to death?”

“Stop…”

Rey attempts to block out his horrid words, but he continues.

“She was a bloodsucking, scheming wench who has ruined countless lives, and would have continued to ruin countless more. So how, I wonder, are you feeling so remorseful for such disgusting excuses for human beings?”

“That’s not your judgement to make,” she tells him, refusing to allow his words to change her mind about him, though she can’t help but be repulsed by the descriptions he had just given her. “You can’t just… decide someone deserves to die…” 

He frowns, his eyes trailing down to her lips as he seems to be trying to determine something. 

“You have much to learn about the world, my dear.”

“I don’t want any part of it if it’s as evil as you make it seem.”

He chuckles at this, the hand on her face dragging down to cup around the back of her neck, his thumb running back and forth along her throat. 

“You have nothing to fear, little Rey,” he tells her, his voice beginning to melt into her, reaching deep down into her soul with that strange magic-like power he has. The power that somehow worked its way into her dreams. “I may enjoy taunting you, but no harm will ever befall you under my watch.”

She finds her body relaxing against him as his hand moves down along her body, burning through her clothes. 

“I know you feel something for me, Rey,” he tells her, his fingers gripping her tattered skirts and pulling them up her leg while her eyes close. “You can’t keep running away from me, love.”

All of the sudden, his touch feels gentler, as if he is trying to calm her. His palm runs along her thigh, stroking her skin comfortingly as she begins to completely forget about where they are and who he is and how much she had hated him just moments ago. 

“Look at me.”

Her eyes open at his request, staring into his frighteningly intense gaze, her heart beat feeling as if it is resounding throughout her entire body. 

She finds herself unable to blink as he looks deeply into her eyes, as if he were discovering something that simply amazes him. 

“You do something to me, Rey,” he whispers, his lips brushing against the side of her face. She gasps when she feels his hand suddenly reach all the way up her skirt to press between her legs. “You make me feel more rageful than I’ve ever felt before, and yet…”

He chuckles with wonder, giving a slight shake of his head as his eyes crawl down her body.

“Yet something in me yearns to be kind to you all the same.” 

She doesn’t know what to say to him, and even if she did, she feels as if her mouth has gone numb. 

There is nowhere to dodge away when his lips collide with hers, his hand still grinding between her legs, the hand holding her wrists now moving to grab her face.

Her hands drop down, resting uncertainly on his shoulders as his mouth moves violently against hers, as if he is savoring something he has been craving for some time.

Her fingers curl against his clothes as she opens her mouth, letting his tongue push past her lips.

She doesn’t know what to do, so she allows herself ease against him, letting him do what he pleases.

Rey can hardly think as he touches her, acting as if he wants to consume every inch of her. 

“Do you know who I am?” he asks, breaking away from the kiss, but still stroking his lips along her face as she breathes heavily against his neck. 

No… it can’t be… 

“I’m confused,” she pants, closing her eyes again and shaking her head.

He smiles, his lips kissing against the side of her head, through her hair.

“You know the truth,” he insists. 

He leans away from her, both of his hands wrapping around her arms as he stares into her eyes again.

“Rey…”

“Please,” she shakes her head, her heart racing, every inch of her wanting to refuse what she knows he is trying to tell her. “I don’t want to know…”

He eventually leads her down the stairs, and she feels as if she is in a dream, being led away by something she can’t see.

_I want you, Rey _, she hears his voice echoing inside her head._ All I want is you… ___

__The next thing she knows, she is opening her eyes to find Kylo bringing her out of the stairwell to the attic and across the house, to the main staircase._ _

__There’s no one around, and Rey begins to consider that perhaps she is dreaming._ _

__They go to the doctor’s bedroom, Kylo opening the door and waltzing in as if it were his own, dragging Rey behind him._ _

__He slams the door closed, grabbing her around the waist and tossing her down onto the bed, making her snap out of her daze with surprise as he crawls on top of her._ _

__She is lost in a sea of pleasure, much like how she was in the dream she had a few nights ago._ _

__Her hands clutch against the sheets of the bed as Kylo’s hands crawl over her body, tearing at her clothes until his gloved hands touch against her bare skin._ _

__Rey ignores everything her instincts tell her. How wrong this is, how dirty and traitorous it is. All she can feel is him, and something deep inside her that yearns for him to hold her, ravish her like this, to hear the words he showers upon her._ _

__“What have you done to me?” she wonders aloud as he moves down her body._ _

__She writhes against the bed as he pulls her legs apart, one hand lifting her leg up to kiss hungrily against her thigh while his other hand plays against her breast, under her bodice. His gloves have somehow been removed and it’s the heat of his skin she feels against herself now._ _

__“You know, Rey,” he murmurs against her as his mouth moves along her thigh. “You know why you feel this way about me…”_ _

__“I don’t,” she denies, though her voice is weak._ _

__He leans up away from her, making her groan in distress._ _

__“I never lied to you, Rey. And I always assumed you would know the truth, despite how much the doctor wishes to hide it from you.”_ _

__She keeps her eyes closed, shaking her head until he reaches out to grab her chin, forcing her to look up at him._ _

__“He wanted to find a way to cure evil itself,” Kylo begins, leaning down closer until his body is covering hers completely. “Snuff it out and eliminate it completely. But to do that, he had to find a way to isolate it, to bring it forth so that he could kill it.”_ _

__Rey feels helpless as she lays beneath him, her legs awkwardly spread open, and her mind unable to deny the truth any longer._ _

__“In order for him to find a way to bring the most evil part of someone forward, he needed to experiment on himself.”_ _

__Her breathing quickens as she feels an overwhelming sense of sadness, knowing what Kylo is really telling her._ _

__His hand reaches up to curl tightly through her hair as a tear falls down her face, rolling down onto his skin._ _

__“That is what brought me here,” Kylo finishes, a grin crawling onto his lips as his thumb reaches across her face to roughly brush away her tears. “His little experiment finally unleashed me. Brought me to you…”_ _

__Rey can’t even begin to try and understand this horrible truth that somehow isn’t a surprise to her. Things like this aren’t possible._ _

__But Dr. Solo has always found a way to do impossible things._ _

__“He thought he could keep me under control,” Kylo continues, keeping his grip on Rey’s hair as he seems to gleam with excitement, “until he finally found a way to destroy me for good.”_ _

__He laughs softly, the sound sending a chill through Rey’s soul as she doesn’t dare speak, now hanging onto his every word._ _

__“But I’m far more powerful than he ever predicted. I’ve found a way to slowly shift the tide, Rey. More and more until I became the master of us both. I’m stronger than ever now, my dear. I can decide when I want to come forth and when I want the doctor to resume control.”_ _

__“It’s all been for you, my love,” he continues when she does nothing but stare up at him, her eyes filled with an assortment of amazement and horror. “The doctor’s tender feelings toward you became magnified in me. As soon as I saw you the night you came running outside, following the scream you heard from that silly woman I frightened, I knew I would do everything I could to have you for myself.”_ _

__She tries to speak, but her throat feels paralyzed. She’s horrified, yet her heart swells, as if her body naturally wants to respond to anything Kylo says or does to her._ _

__“Soon I will take over completely,” he tells her, his hand moving from her hair to cup around her face. “And then you and I will go somewhere far from here where we will answer to no one.”_ _

__Something in Rey’s mind is calmed at this thought._ _

__Is this what she wants? To run away with Kylo Ren? To love and be loved by him for the rest of her days? To finally be free?_ _

__She slips back into the blissful trance she feels with him as he kisses her again, his body moving against hers in a way that makes her squirm against the bed._ _

__“I’d do anything for you, Rey,” he whispers, sounding as breathless and passionate as she feels. “I’d kill for you… I would kill to be with you…”_ _

__“_ Kylo _,” is all she can say back, welcoming the warm feeling his words and touches bring. They tug at a piece of her heart that yearns to be careless, free, and feral like he is.__

__But she can’t forget about the other half of her heart, even as she lies here heatedly in Kylo’s demanding embrace, that cries with protectiveness of her love for Ben Solo._ _


	19. No One Must Ever Know

Rey thinks she might have fallen asleep once she opens her eyes after lying on the doctor’s bed for what had felt like numerous pleasurable hours in Kylo’s arms.

He’s gone when she sits up and looks around now, and she quickly leaps up from the bed, reaching down to put herself together as much as she can before rushing out of the room. 

She sprints down the stairs, an awful feeling washing over her, the feeling she gets when she’s sick and she’s not sure what time of day it is. 

She’s hardly even concerned with anyone seeing her until Hux is suddenly right in front of her at the bottom of the stairs, as if he had simply appeared from thin air, causing her to collide right into him, nearly sending both of them crashing to the ground. 

“What in God’s name are you doing?!” he exclaims, as if she had just slapped him across the face. 

Rey quickly regains her balance as Hux straightens his coat with a violent yank, running a shaking hand back along his hair, looking enraged that a strand of it might be out of place now. 

“I’m… I’m sorry,” she clumsily apologizes, the fear of Hux’s wrath far from the first thing on her mind, even now as he’s looking as if he wants to strangle the life out of her. 

“You look absolutely horrid,” he informs her, looking her up and down in disgust. 

She really can’t argue with him. Her clothes are all out of sorts, her hair has half fallen out of the buns she had it in, and her face is positively flushed, much to her embarrassment. 

“I’m sure there’s no need to ask where you’ve been,” he continues, his nose turned up in the air. 

Something in her flares up in anger, fed up with Hux’s persistent condescending attitude towards her so much that she forgets her place entirely.

“I just came from Dr. Solo’s room,” she tells him in a venomous tone. “He’s ill and is not to be disturbed for the rest of the evening.” 

She swears she can see the devil in Hux’s eyes as he glares at her now. She knows there is no taking back what she just did, and it’s no longer an option to deny what he has been wanting to accuse her of for some time now. 

But all she does is stare right back at him now, no longer cowering under his reign of terror that she’s allowed to control her for so long. 

“ _You _,” he begins, sounding as if he’s about to give out an order of execution that he’s only too glad to bestow. “You will come to my office_ this instant _, and I am going to personally see to it that-”__

__“Mr. Hux!”_ _

__Rey and Hux both startle at the booming voice that echoes across the room, both of them turning quickly to find someone suddenly emerging from the hallway across from the stairs._ _

__It is revealed to be an incredibly disheveled and wild eyed Ben Solo, who looks as if he just got into a scuffle in the streets._ _

__His hair is the messiest she has ever seen it, as if he had come in after walking through a tornado, and his clothes don’t look much better, wrinkled and out of place in some spots, and completely torn in others._ _

__“Doctor,” Hux stutters, no doubt at a loss at trying not to marvel at the doctor’s state. “I… I was told you were ill, in your room-”_ _

__“I need you to go to the apothecary in town and speak with Miss Jessika Pava,” he orders, brushing past Rey and handing Hux a small piece of paper. “Tell her you are there to retrieve this set of vials, they contain a solution that I am in need of.”_ _

__Rey and Hux can only stare wide eyed at the doctor in shock._ _

__“Sir, I… I can’t leave the-”_ _

__“You will do as I say immediately,” Ben clarifies to him, making Hux shrink back slightly. “If you don’t wish to obey my orders, I would be more than happy to discuss consequences with you in my office.”_ _

__This gets him to straighten up, acting as if he had never questioned the doctor in the first place._ _

__“Right away, doctor,” he nods, turning on his heel, heading straight for the door as if he were in some kind of race. “I will be back within the hour.”_ _

__Rey would laugh at the ridiculous sight if she wasn’t so dumbfounded at seeing Ben standing here before her._ _

__She’s nervous once the front door slams closed behind Hux and the house is left silent, with just her and Ben standing at the bottom of the staircase._ _

__“That seems like a job that was meant for me,” Rey offers in a sort of awkward attempt at lightening the dire atmosphere._ _

__“Come with me,” he speaks before suddenly heading off around the side of the stairs, towards the back of the house._ _

__She follows behind him, matching his quick pace and ignoring the stares they get from the occasional servant cleaning in the house as the two make their way towards the door leading out to the yard in the back._ _

__They are alone once they’re outside, and Ben leads her over towards her garden, the little square of life and color in the otherwise grey stoned yard. He finally turns to face her._ _

__His eyes look guilty and ashamed as she stands before him, both of them unable to find the proper way to begin._ _

__“Why didn’t you suspect it before?” he asks her after they have stood in silence for a time. “That… he and I were the same?”_ _

__It’s so strange to hear him say it out loud, to hear him admit something so unbelievable and impossible._ _

__“I didn’t think it was true because you aren’t the same man,” she tells him, her heart yearning to comfort Ben, to get him to tell her all that is wrong, why he started all of this in the first place. What is making him so desperate?_ _

__“I know it’s difficult to understand,” he sighs, his hands on his hips as he gazes at the ground. “But he… he and I are one. I don’t have any way to make you believe me, but-”_ _

__“You aren’t the same man,” she repeats, walking closer, wanting to find some way to reassure him. “You can’t be, you…”_ _

__She takes a deep breath, unsure at first about saying this out loud, but knowing now that he needs to hear it._ _

__“You’re gentle and kind. You’re caring, you want nothing else but to help those around you. Kylo… he’s selfish and vulgar.”_ _

__He nods, raising his eyes up towards hers again._ _

__“He’s all the worst parts of me,” he tells her, shame riddled in his tone. “He’s the darkest part of my soul. A part I wanted to kill as soon as it came forth.”_ _

__“Then why would you bring him out in the first place?” she asks him desperately. “Why try to kill off a part of human nature?”_ _

__He shakes his head in distress._ _

__“Of course I realize now it was a horrible mistake. And it’s… it’s something I will have to take responsibility for, which I plan to do…”_ _

__Something in the tone of his voice makes Rey want to recoil in fear._ _

__“What do you mean by that?”_ _

__“He has killed so many… the body of Henry Jarods was found just now, murdered on the streets outside his home,” Ben tells her, his hands shaking as they run over his hair. “He was one of the men at the table at the Mayor’s house if you’ll remember…”_ _

__Rey nods in understanding and terror._ _

__“Anyone who I’ve ever been even slightly bothered by is in danger,” he sighs, his voice trembling as much as his hands._ _

__“There’s more,” Rey speaks, recalling the words Kylo had spoken to her. “You told… he told me there were more men that he killed, men they haven’t found yet…”_ _

__She stops before she can continue down this path that she can see now is rather unhelpful._ _

“Do you remember?” she asks, her heart aching for the horrors Ben must endure through all of this. “When you’re… _him _, don’t you remember anything at all?”__

______“I get flashes,” he explains. “Like remembering a nightmare. Once Kylo has taken control, it’s as if I have slipped into a state of unconsciousness. He has complete power, more and more each time I… transition.”_ _ _ _ _ _

____The way he says the word makes Rey’s chest ring with pain at whatever unspoken horrors Ben must go through during such an intense transformation into a completely different human being._ _ _ _

____“I am slipping further and further. I’m no fool, Rey. I know he will take over completely one day. But just as I am trapped when he is in control, he is trapped once I have taken over.” He says this with a bit more of a spark of hope. “I may not be above the surface as much as I used to be, but I’ve… I’ve managed to find a way to destroy him.”_ _ _ _

____Rey is overcome with confusion when she feels something inside her want to immediately cry out in refusal at hearing this, while another part of her breathes a sigh of relief at the promise of Ben’s freedom from this unbearable curse._ _ _ _

____“How?”_ _ _ _

____His eyes stare into hers, the same eyes that had looked lovingly into hers the other night at the ball. The eyes of the man she loves._ _ _ _

____Or a man only half of her loves?_ _ _ _

____“I was able to come up with a solution… a poison, without his knowledge. It should destroy him for good, if my calculations are correct. They always have been.”_ _ _ _

____Rey has never felt so lost or torn in her life. She doesn’t know what she is supposed to feel. She doesn’t want to say anything and make this all worse for Ben._ _ _ _

____Slowly, she reaches her hand out, her fingers grasping around his._ _ _ _

____She waits tensely to see if he will pull away, and he doesn’t._ _ _ _

____“Ben… how did this happen?”_ _ _ _

____She doesn’t expect him to answer, and he doesn’t at first. But eventually he sighs as he grasps her hand tightly in his, as if he wants to ask her the same question._ _ _ _

____“I think I finally overestimated myself,” he replies numbly. “I thought I could… I thought this would be something so incredible… that I would’ve been celebrated for years and years…”_ _ _ _

____His eyes look shielded and his voice is emotionless, as if he’s trying to hide something, but Rey doesn’t want to push him anymore. She only wants to help him._ _ _ _

____It’s quiet again for a few moments. A peaceful silence, with nothing but the quiet wind filling the air, fluttering lightly through Ben’s hair as he stands still before her, looking like a man who’s finally become truly and impossibly broken._ _ _ _

____“Do you love him?” he asks her._ _ _ _

____There is something heated, angry in his voice that almost makes her think he could be jealous of something._ _ _ _

____“Somewhere… a part of me has to,” she tells him truthfully. “I cannot deny the feelings I have for him. The way he makes me feel…”_ _ _ _

_But I am as conflicted as you, my love._

________“What can I do?” she begs of him. “How can I help?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_How can I save you from this?_

__________“You mustn’t do anything now,” he explains to her seriously, his hands now placed on her arms gently, as if pleading with her. “You must carry on exactly as you have with him… or else he’ll suspect something. If he does, he’ll… well, he’s no doubt told you of his plans.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Rey is almost ashamed of herself to feel her heart flutter when she remembers Kylo’s promise to her, that he will take her away somewhere they can be together peacefully once he has fully taken control._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Lost at what else to say, Rey is about to tell him how sorry she is. Sorry that he’s been alone in this for so long. Sorry for betraying him in such a truly wretched way._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________But he beats her to it, looking up into her eyes with all the sorrow and regret in the world._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I’m so sorry, Rey. I’m sorry that I… you never should have been brought into any of this. But I promise you, Kylo Ren will be destroyed. He will never hurt you or anyone else again.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Before she can tell him that Kylo has never harmed her, Ben has released her hand and begins away from the garden, back towards the house, leaving her standing before her small pond of flowers, feeling as helpless and lost as he is._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Ben!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He stops at the sound of her voice, just before he reaches the door, and slowly turns to face her again, waiting for her request._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Will you… the poison… will it harm you as well?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She looks closely for his reaction to this, eager to catch him lying. But once again, his eyes are guarded, shielding his feelings as he stares blankly back at her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“My mind will be at peace,” is all he says._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________With that, Rey is left alone again, with not even the sound of a breeze to fill the disturbing silence any longer._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	20. In His Eyes

The first couple of days after the ghastly revelation was made to her, Rey almost feels like some sort of secret agent, forced to stay on guard, constantly thinking of what she is going to say to Kylo should he happen upon her between now and the time Ben is able to kill him off… 

Just the thought of it makes her sick, even though she should be pleased. After Kylo is gone, Ben will be free and can finally start acting like himself again. 

She’s not sure what that will mean for her. It’s been all but confirmed he has feelings for her, just as she feels for him. Yet she can’t help but fear that maybe his passion for her was merely another side effect from the experiment that had brought forth Kylo Ren. Perhaps, once he really is himself again, his feelings for her will die along with Kylo. 

Deep down, she knows worrying over this is ridiculous. She has no business worrying about whether or not the doctor will continue to admire her or not in the middle of all of this. The only thing that matters is Ben finding an opportune time to execute his plan of killing off Kylo for good. 

But Rey can’t help her selfishness. She wants Ben Solo to continue admiring her. She wants to run away with Kylo Ren.

With all her worrying, when she feels two arms grab around her waist out of nowhere while she’s cleaning the same spot on the banister she’s been at for twenty minutes, she’s half sure she is about to be snatched away by the devil. 

Her startlement only lasts for a brief second, but when she does realize who it is, it turns out she hadn’t been too far off.

“I’m going to have to relieve you of your chores for a while,” Kylo utters to her, his lips gently nibbling against her ear. 

The rag in her hands drops to the ground as her hands curl against his. She leans back against him, closing her eyes in ecstasy as her head lays back against his shoulder, his mouth traveling down her exposed neck.

She jumps as his foot juts out to slam against the bucket where she was cleaning, kicking it over and sending a river of soapy water across the fine tile floor. 

Rey gapes in frustration while Kylo moves his hands up to her chest, grabbing at it roughly as his lips continue to attack her neck.

“I’ll get in trouble for that!” she protests, trying to struggle away from him to lean down and clean up the mess. 

“Blame it on me,” he tells her before heaving her up off her feet and carrying her up the stairs.

They end up in the doctor’s room once again, on the bed as they were before. This time most of Rey’s clothes end up getting tossed aside immediately. 

“Oh, Rey,” Kylo hums contentedly, the back of his hand playfully stroking down her side as he kisses her forehead. 

He’s been on top of her for a while now, so long his body feels as if it was meant to fit so perfectly with hers. 

She smiles up at him, her body glowing, her mind in a peaceful daze as his hand moves to her hair, beginning to pull it loose from the three buns. 

Something about having her hair down in front of him feels even more intimate than having half her clothes off. She can’t remember a time when she let anyone see her with her hair down, not even when she was a little girl. It feels strange. 

“Has no one ever told you how beautiful you are?” he asks, his fingers brushing through her hair, pulling it forward so that it lays over her shoulders. 

“Why would anyone tell me that?” she asks him back. 

“You should be told that everyday. And you should be worshipped every day.”

He leans down again, kissing along her chest. 

“I promise you I will make you feel like this every moment I can, once we’re together,” he tells her, his mouth moving along her skin as she gently places her hands in his hair.

“Where are we going?” she asks as she mindlessly strokes her fingers through his long hair, marveling at how soft it feels. 

“I have something planned,” is all he says in response after staying silent for a few seconds. 

He leans back up, placing his hand on the side of her face, looking down into her eyes with a small grin.

“Rey, my love,” he praises, his thumb moving to circle around her lips. “You and the doctor wouldn’t be planning on getting rid of me, would you?” 

The question might have made Rey startle earlier, before she was tangled up in his arms on this bed, but she has had time to relax into her role, her mind at ease and prepared with her answer.

“You know even if I wanted to, I couldn’t,” she tells him, relishing the feeling of his skin caressing hers. “You awakened something in me that frightened me at first, but… Kylo, all I can think about is being with you, and going away with you. It’s all I want.”

It isn’t all a lie.

His hand jumps down to her neck, his fingers applying pressure to the sides of her neck, not enough to hurt, but enough to get her attention. 

“I am certain you would never do anything against me, my love. But I wonder if he’s told you something of his little efforts to kill me off…”

“I love you, Kylo,” she says unflinchingly. “I’ve been alone my whole life. You are the only one who has ever shown me they wanted me at all… that means more to me than you could ever know.”

This also isn’t a lie. It’s true, the feelings she has for Kylo are strong enough so that she truly believes she could never do anything to hurt him. She knows Ben is planning on getting rid of him. She will keep her silence, but she will take no active part in it. 

He kisses her, his hand still wrapped around her throat as his tongue meets with hers.

Rey still can hardly believe what she’s doing, things she always thought were so obscene and improper, things not even someone of her status should ever be caught doing in her life. 

Yet here she is, and she’s never felt better in her life. 

Except perhaps that night she danced with Ben.

“Kylo… surely you needn’t ask me about what the doctor is planning. You share the same mind.”

Her heart skips for one horrid moment when Kylo freezes above her, and she’s sure she just gave herself away.

But she’s able to keep her eyes innocent enough as Kylo looks back down at her, and his smile looks more prideful than evil.

“We are two very different parts of one mind,” he explains, his hand stroking back down her face. “He can hide things from me just as I can hide things from him. Not everything but… I suppose when we try hard enough, we are able to almost live as two completely separate people.” 

Rey doesn’t want to question him any further on this matter, fearing she will reveal that she does indeed know of Ben's plans. For now, she wants to pretend she doesn’t.

“Why do you care for me?” she asks him now. “I know your feelings are an extension of the doctor’s, but… you must know something of why he should like me, of all people.”

“I have feelings of my own,” Kylo protests, his eyes becoming violent, possessive. “The doctor knows nothing of my passion for you. I want you because you’re not like all of these small minded, stuck up imbeciles that roam about this infernal household. You’re strong, even behind this meek little facade you like to put on for everyone. You have anger and darkness inside you.”

He smiles, his thumb running across her lips before pushing into her mouth where he strokes along her tongue, her teeth.

“You’re like me.”

She closes her lips around his thumb, shutting her eyes as she gently sucks on it, feeling Kylo’s waist press against hers, his hips moving in a way that takes the breath from her chest. 

She curls her hand around his wrist as she runs her tongue along his thumb, touching her other hand to his bare chest, running her fingers along the muscles on his stomach. 

He drags his finger away from her mouth, trailing his hand down her chin, between her breasts. 

“I know,” she whispers, wrapping her arms around his neck and bringing him down to her again. “I like it…”

They lose themselves for hours, every inch of their bodies connected until the sun has gone down and the room begins to fill with darkness. 

But Rey feels safe in a strange way. She welcomes the darkness, wanting to wrap herself in it, as she feels wrapped in Kylo Ren, hidden away from the rest of the world. 

She revels in it, being free and careless, wishing everything else on the Earth would drop away while she and Kylo remain here forever, undisturbed by anyone.


	21. Confrontation

Rey knows she had fallen asleep again when she opens her eyes to blackness, feeling herself still laying half naked on the doctor’s bed. She knows Kylo has left. Perhaps he is attending to their plans of running away, or maybe he felt the doctor returning. 

She sits up, disoriented by the darkness and feeling a sense of deja vu as she scrambles about to find her clothes in the darkness.

Once she has clothed herself, she pins her hair back up, though it is a useless attempt, seeing as she can’t see a thing and she doesn’t quite have the wherewithal to properly put her hair up at this moment in time. 

She stumbles out of the bedroom, her eyes squinting against the light from the lamps on the wall lighting the hallway once she opens the door. 

It’s obviously far past midnight, and the lights up here aren’t out yet because it was her job to put them out tonight. 

Knowing everyone else is in bed, Rey makes no attempt at subterfuge when heading down the stairs, figuring she’ll just go off to the servant’s quarters, go to bed, and get up early tomorrow to put the lights out in the house. They all look a bit dim anyway, filling the house with a dull orange glow that makes her all the more sleepy and feeling as if she is in a dream. Maybe some of them will just go out on their own during the night.

Her eyes stay on the ground, watching her feet as they step along the wooden floor, past the living room, towards the hallway to the stairs that go to the servant’s quarters. 

“It doesn’t surprise me that we have a greedy little whore in our midst.”

The voice that creeps out from a corner of the living room Rey hadn’t been looking at makes her halt in her tracks, her heart freezing in her chest.

She turns slowly, reluctant to see Hux standing like a statue in the dim light of the living room. 

He steps forward, his eyes ringing with sick excitement, as if he has been waiting years to catch her sneaking around like this and is now aching to lay into her.

Rey feels even more like she is in a dream now, since she’s fairly sure she’s had a nightmare exactly like this before. 

“I’m sorry, sir,” she speaks, already knowing there’s no point in trying to defend herself now. “I was just going to start putting out the lights-”

“Shut your mouth,” he snaps, and she doesn’t argue another second. “Do you actually think you are in any place to defend yourself? Slinking out of the doctor’s bedroom at this hour, looking like a cheap prostitute that belongs down in a dirt poor brothel.”

Rey feels anger at his words naturally, but she is even more enraged at the fact that everything he is accusing her of doing is mostly true. 

“You’ve wanted your jealous little hands all over the doctor’s fortune since the day you came here, haven’t you, you disgusting harlot.” 

“Mr. Hux, I… I know what you must think of me, but I can assure you there is more to all of this than you underst-”

Her head is whipped to the side once Hux’s hand flies up out of nowhere, slapping her across the face so hard, she feels it down her neck.

“Get out of this house,” he orders, trembling with rage while Rey feels the entire left side of her face sting. “If you aren’t cleared out in the next five minutes, I’ll have you arrested. You’re lucky I don’t have you thrown in jail for all you’ve done already, you conniving little minx.” 

“Were you not the one who demanded me to go into his chambers in the first place?!” Rey shouts, her frustration bubbling over, her hands curling into fists as her chest rings heavily with fury as she glares up at the man. “When his bed needed to be made, when his room was half destroyed-”

“He demanded you be the one to take on those ever so daunting tasks you silly fool,” Hux replies, his voice rising above hers. “You’ve had your slimy hooks in him since day one, and you know it. If it’s my job to have to cut the ties, then I will do just that. I will not have filth like you strutting about this house ruining the reputation of those who are better than you.”

Rey hardly hears the rest of his sentence. Her shock lingers on his first words.

Ben had wanted her to clean his room. All those weeks ago… when she was sure he didn’t even know her name…

He had wanted her around since then? 

“You’re nothing but a jealous little rat,” Hux continues when she simply stands before him dumbly. 

Rey turns back to look into his hateful eyes, feeling tired, stunned, and overwhelmed. 

“Now do as I said and get out of this house before I have you removed. And after you’ve been locked up in jail, then I can assure you, you really will have nothing left. I will see to it personally anyone you ever contact again will know of your shameful behavior, and you will never be welcomed into another home in this country. So leave now while I’m still feeling merciful.” 

She wants to scream at him, she wants to leap onto him and claw his face off for striking her, for saying such disgraceful things about her, but all she can do is turn and run for the stairs leading up to her room, sensing a horrid feeling tearing through her chest. 

Tears fill her eyes as she runs up the cramped stairwell, tearing the door open to her small bedroom.

Rose startles when Rey bursts in, her hands reaching up to rub her eyes sleepily.

“What’s going on?” she mutters tiredly as Rey chokes back a sob, falling to her knees beside the bed and reaching her hand under the mattress to retrieve her small bundle of books she keeps tucked away there. 

“Nothing,” she answers, ducking away before Rose can see her face. 

“Well what are you doing?” she mumbles, starting to sit up. 

“I’m leaving,” Rey whispers back through her teeth, scooping up her few clothes and shoving them in the same frayed brown sack she had come here with all those years ago. 

Rose probably thinks she’s having a strange dream, but Rey doesn’t have time or the energy to sit and try to explain it all to her. 

So she leaves her sitting there in bed, running back down the stairs, half blinded by the tears now streaming down her face. 

She’s crying in anger and pain, her head a mess of millions of thoughts. 

She thinks of going to find Ben, or Kylo, whoever is here at the moment, thinking maybe they could help her. 

Right now, she’s feeling like she would go along with Kylo Ren in an instant if he asked her to run away with him right now. And what would Ben say if she came to him now? Would he do something to help her? Would he care?

Tomorrow. Tomorrow she will come back and find one of them. One of them will help her. But tonight, she just wants to get the hell out of here. 

She hears someone talking somewhere nearby as she charges through the house, dead set on getting to the front door, but her brain can’t even put itself together enough to question who else would be down here talking at this hour. All she can think about is getting out of here, getting away from all of this. 

She doesn’t even care where she will be sleeping tonight, or if she’ll be sleeping at all. 

As she passes the dining room, she finds the voices seem to be coming from inside there, and she suddenly slows to a stop when she hears Hux’ unmistakable voice shout out at something in anger. 

Is he really chewing someone else out this late?

_Just keep going… God, Rey just keep going… ___

__“I don’t know who you think you are!” Hux is bellowing from inside the dining room. “But if you don’t return to your quarters this instant, I will-”_ _

__“I’ve been watching you,” a dark voice growls out, making a wave of ice shock through Rey’s skin._ _

__The voice isn’t human. It is an animal, or demon of some sort. Nothing about it remotely resembles anything with a soul or remorse._ _

__Which is why Rey begins to think she really might just be in a horrible dream._ _

__“I’ve seen how you speak to her,” the voice continues, a voice that seems to rumble through the very core of the entire house. “I’ve always seen how you treat her…. And now, you have put your hands on her.”_ _

_Move, Rey… Just keep moving and get. The hell. Out._

______“You should have been the first one to go.”_ _ _ _ _ _

____Rey finally is about to take her own advice and leave all of this drama behind her, ignore the strange callings that seem to be demanding her attention._ _ _ _

____But when she hears a crash and a horrifying screech of pain, she is compelled to move back towards the dining room, not hesitating, perhaps in a haze of adrenaline, when opening the door and stepping inside._ _ _ _

____The first thing her eyes fall open is a tall dark figure standing near the small fireplace, standing over someone lying on the ground._ _ _ _

____She can’t move at first as she slowly takes in the scene before her._ _ _ _

____Hux lying bloodied on the ground. The figure above him slowly rising a glinting object into the air, above his head, before repeatedly slamming the object into him. Something long, a cane like object with a shiny pointed end that is dyed a bright red with Hux’s blood._ _ _ _

____Hux’s screams of pain echo off the walls and through her head as blood splashes from him every time the object breaks his skin or snaps his bones. He thrashes and grapples on the ground, his face becoming lost behind a grisly mask of black and red blood, his howling growing strangled as his movements start to slow._ _ _ _

____Rey feels as if her body has petrified as she stands watching the gruesome scene, her mouth hanging slightly open as her blood turns to ice in her veins._ _ _ _

____Her eyes go wide as she gazes at the terrifying figure murdering Hux. She feels she is in a nightmare, knowing she is about to be killed but can’t do a thing about it._ _ _ _

____Why did she ever come here? Is she really going to die here, tonight, murdered by this madman…_ _ _ _

____The figure slowly stands straighter after he finishes his attack on Hux’s now dead body and Rey’s heart pounds madly, something horrible shivering through her skin as she watches this phantom, shadowy man begin to turn towards her._ _ _ _

____Some dreadful part of her isn’t surprised to see Kylo’s face, his skin showered with bits of blood from the man he just killed. The look in his eyes is something she’s only seen in her worst nightmares, something she expected the devil to look like._ _ _ _

____He’s shaking, sweating, his mouth twisted into a grimace of pain and anger. Something is wrong with him._ _ _ _

____Finally, Rey feels her body come back to life slowly but surely, and she is able to back out of the room as Kylo slowly stalks forward, his demon-like eyes locked on her._ _ _ _

____She runs, even though she knows by now that he will always catch her. She hears him chasing behind her, screaming her name in anger as her heart races in fear. She doesn’t know what has happened, why he is chasing her like a mad dog, looking intent on tearing her apart, but all she knows is that she has to keep running._ _ _ _

____Rey eventually finds herself outside in the freezing night air. Her belongings were dropped to the ground somewhere along the way._ _ _ _

____Not knowing where else to go, she runs to the laboratory, knowing she will have less luck out in the dark streets that are like a maze to her at this time of night, and a better chance at finding some kind of weapon to defend herself._ _ _ _

____She’s surprised to find a few dim lamps on once she tears her way through the wooden door into the large room, but her focus is limited to scrambling around trying to find a club or scalpel or something._ _ _ _

____Her spine curls in horror when she hears Kylo burst in after her, not taking a second to stop as he races straight toward her._ _ _ _

____She lets out a small scream as he grabs for her and she dodges away, jumping over one of the tables and grabbing a glass vial on her way, unable to find anything more effective._ _ _ _

____Kylo reaches out, grabbing a hold of the table and throwing it out of the way, sending the hundreds of items resting on top of it all crashing and shattering to the floor, making Rey cringe in horror._ _ _ _

____Rey tries leaping around another table, but feels her apron catch on the edge, sending her tumbling to the ground as Kylo marches right behind her, tossing that table out of the way as well._ _ _ _

____She hopes that someone in the house is hearing all this commotion and comes down to help her, but she doubts if anyone would rush down fast enough._ _ _ _

____He grabs her by her shirt, yanking her up onto her feet, but before he can do anything, she throws the glass vial right at his head._ _ _ _

____The thing breaks in two, making him flinch a bit, but otherwise only seeming to make him more angry._ _ _ _

____Her hands push and claw at his chest in a last effort to escape from him even though she knows she has lost._ _ _ _

____Grabbing her shirt with both hands, he shoves her against the wall, growling in anger._ _ _ _

____“You betrayed me!” he bellows, his voice ringing against the stone walls as Rey cowers against the wall in horror. “I offered you everything, you deceitful devil…”_ _ _ _

____Her eyes grow wide as she looks at him closely, seeing the veins turning a dark black color in his face and neck, pulsing through his skin. His eyes have turned red, looking as if they’re ready to burst from his skull._ _ _ _

____He’s been poisoned._ _ _ _

____“Kylo… I don’t… I’m sorry…”_ _ _ _

____“Damn you!” he snarls, slamming her against the wall again, though with much less impact this time._ _ _ _

____He reaches out toward something she can’t see, and before she knows it, he is holding a long pointed knife._ _ _ _

____To her surprise, she doesn’t scream or try to struggle away. She doesn’t even freeze in horror._ _ _ _

____She simply looks into his eyes as she would any other time they were together._ _ _ _

____“I love you,” she tells him. “I’m so sorry.”_ _ _ _

____The moment seems to last hours, all the sound dropped away as Kylo holds the knife above her chest, his hand shaking, his eyes swimming with rage, hate, betrayal, until they slowly melt into hurt. Sadness._ _ _ _

____His hand still gripping her shirt tightens momentarily before his palm moves to her neck, up the side of her face._ _ _ _

____Rey’s eyes close, her mind rushing to accept death as Kylo’s hand readies the knife before her chest, seconds away from bringing it down._ _ _ _

“ _No! _”__

________A desperate cry, the voice of Ben Solo tears from Kylo’s throat as he seems to throw himself back away from her, bringing the knife down into his own side._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______Kylo screams in rage and pain, ripping the knife out of his side, throwing it across the room._ _ _ _ _ _

______His eyes stare into nothing, swimming with sick glee._ _ _ _ _ _

“You can’t save her,” Kylo warns, speaking to the man fighting within him, cackling with hysteria. “She’s _mine! _”__

__________Another scream rings through the air, either Kylo’s or Ben’s. He raises his hands to his head as he writhes in pain._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“You will fade away, you weak fool,” Kylo speaks again, as his hands claw at his hair, his nails digging into his scalp as Rey watches on with horror. “And I will remain here long after you have gone. Ben Solo is _dead! _”__

__________“Stop!” Rey cries, running forward and grabbing Kylo’s wrists, wrenching his hands away from his now bloodied hair._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Kylo growls again with rage as he looks ready to attack her again, his hands ripping at her clothes, tearing them from her chest as he throws her back against the wall once more._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Then, something changes in him. Something that has him looking up at her with sadness, not hate. A horrified realization of what he is doing._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________An infuriated sob escapes his throat as he sinks to his knees, his hands still grabbing desperately at Rey, as if trying with all his might to hold on to life._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She shakily pulls her torn dress back over herself as she watches him, feeling his torment in her own heart, as if they were connected as one._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I loved you,” he hisses as she kneels down in front of him. She sees tears forming in his eyes, and she can’t tell if they are from anger or sadness or both._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She wraps her arms around him as he gasps and chokes, the poison killing off his cells, his lungs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I only wanted you,” he tells her, his eyes gazing at her, begging for help._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Rey feels as if he might as well have brought that knife down into her chest. The pain in her heart feels as unbearable as Kylo’s looks as he writhes and screams, his body and soul withering away as he begins to completely fade from existence._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________But she knows this is the only way. As much as she cares for him, Kylo Ren is a monster. The darkest part of Ben Solo’s heart and mind. Something that has festered into an uncontrollable murderer._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He jerks and screams as his bones start cracking, and Rey does everything she can to comfort him, staying by his side and holding him as much as she can._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________His fingers claw at the ground as his body contorts into impossible shapes, and Rey realizes this grotesque scene is Kylo Ren morphing back into Ben Solo._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Kylo clings to life as best he can, but it’s a useless struggle. Rey comforts him as much as she can, running her hand along his forehead and the side of his face. His hand reaches up to grab around her wrist, holding her again as if she were his lifeline, his last connection to Earth._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Rey’s tears fall down onto his face as his own weeping eyes stare into hers once final time._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“All I wanted was you…”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________His head is snapped to the side, the transformation reaching its final stage. Killing Kylo Ren for good._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________His features change, as the rest of his body had changed, and Rey crawls away, her tear-filled eyes staring helplessly as Kylo’s body finishes forming into Ben’s body._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________It is him she is gazing upon now, unconscious on the ground, still covered in sweat and blood. But his face is softer, peaceful, and not covered by a mess of long black hair._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She moves slowly toward him, reaching a hand out to gently run the tips of her fingers down along his face as she hears the commotion of people rushing out of the house and towards the laboratory._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	22. No One Knows Who I Am

After Hux’s body was found in the dining room of the Solo house, the staff that had awoken due to the disturbance coming from the laboratory, had believed Rey’s story that the murderer had been struggling with the doctor when she had found them and had subdued him before running off into the night. 

Ben had been taken back into the house, looked over briefly and proclaimed ill and exhausted, needing immense rest. 

Rey could tell that nobody knew exactly what was wrong with him, even the doctors that were called in. She was afraid she knew exactly what was wrong. 

Unable to sleep, she simply sits outside his room for the rest of the night, probably looking much like a zombie, her eyes staring into nothing. 

The doctors running in and out of his bedroom all night don’t bother her. 

In a few hours, light eventually starts to break through, filling the house with a dull morning hum of light that is able to fall in past the grey clouds and through the windows. 

It feels like such a long time before all the doctors finally leave, all the staff members stop coming up to see if they can go in and check on him. But now, in the early hours of the morning, everyone else has finally gone downstairs, no doubt all gossiping about what is going to come next.

Rey stands from her spot against the wall she had taken through the night and walks into the bedroom, closing the door behind her. 

Ben is laying on the bed looking more ill than Rey has ever seen someone look. His face is drained of color, his skin is covered with a sheen of sweat. He’s no longer wearing Kylo’s clothes of course, instead just an undershirt with the covers of the bed carelessly tossed around him, as if he couldn’t decide if he wanted them on or not. 

There is a bloody patch of bandages on the side of his ribs covering his knife wound. 

She moves slowly toward his unmoving form, not sure if he is conscious or not. 

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, she reaches out to touch her fingers against his face, brushing some of his hair out of his face, remembering the time she had come here to comfort him after his nightmare. Thinking how delirious she thought he must be when he had asked her to stay with him. 

He seems to sigh suddenly, and Rey draws her hand back, thinking she had accidentally awoken him. 

“You can’t imagine how nice it is to wake up to you, Rey,” his voice mumbles out, sounding so weak.

Her hand slowly moves down to grasp his, and his fingers interlace with her tightly as she does. 

He turns his head, opening his eyes to look at her as she stares down at him warmly, but with a bit of anger in her heart.

“Why?” she asks, unable to stop the tears that fall from her eyes and onto his hand. 

“It was the only way,” he answers, tears beginning to form in his eyes as well, but he attempts to shield the pain in his voice. “I couldn’t kill Kylo off for good without poisoning us both. Our… bond, if you will, doesn’t allow one of us to live without the other existing as well.” 

Rey wants to argue that there must have been another way, but she knows it’s pointless now. What’s done is done, and if a doctor as brilliant as Ben Solo couldn’t come up with a better solution, then there truly is no hope.

“How long do you have?” she asks, gripping his hand tightly, as if she could somehow transfer some of her life to him, if only to have him for just one more day. One more day to finally be with him as she’s always wanted. 

“A little while longer. Ten or so minutes, by my guess. The poison was designed to directly attack the cells that gave Kylo life. That’s why he had to be the one to ingest it, not me. It will have a much slower effect on the rest of my body.” 

He seems resigned to his fate, but Rey doesn’t want to be. She doesn’t want him to. She wants him to fight, to come up with some miracle, something she can help him with. 

But it’s too late. All she can do now is stay with him for as long as she can.

“Why was he so angry with me?” she asks, wiping away some of her tears, unwilling to spend these moments blubbering all over him. “Did he know that I… knew what you had done?”

Ben’s eyes suddenly look slightly unsure, as if he’s been anxious to tell her whatever it is he’s going to say, but isn’t sure what her reaction will be. 

“He always suspected you knew I was up to something,” he tells her. “He was angry because you were the poison.”

Rey doesn’t know if she is supposed to know what this means, so she stares down at their interlocked hands in confusion.

“What do you mean by that?” 

“Do you remember the serum I came up with that assisted with women’s distress after they lost children?” he questions. 

“Of course.”

It had been one of the first magnificent feats she had ever heard of about the famous Dr. Solo. 

“When creating the poison, I was able to take some of the solutions I used to create that serum. The result was that the poison is not able to affect any female cells. They are protected against it, much in the way the previous serum I made protected women from feeling overwhelming sensations of depression and guilt.” 

Rey’s heart nearly stops in her chest as she begins to understand. 

“I slipped some of it into your breakfast yesterday morning,” he reveals to her. “You were completely protected from it. But the moment Kylo kissed your lips yesterday, it was transferred to him.” 

Rey’s mind isn’t sure how it wants to react to this. Should she feel betrayed? Happy that she was able to assist Ben in killing off this monstrous part of himself?

“I’m sorry, Rey,” he pleads. “It was the only way. There wasn’t any way for me to trick him into drinking it himself, he suspected what I was up to. You… you were the only one he trusted.”

“And I betrayed him.”

Rey sits in stunned silence, knowing she shouldn’t feel such pained remorse for a murderous fiend. 

“He loved you, Rey. As… abominable as he was, he cared for you. And he did intend to go away with you.”

Something flickers through his expression, something angry. Protective.

“But I couldn’t let him continue to exist, killing all those people. He put you and everyone else in danger. I had to set you free, you didn’t deserve to be caught up in any of it.”

“I don’t blame you,” she feels the need to reassure him, placing her other hand on top of their linked ones. “For killing him, for creating him… I don’t blame you for any of it.” 

He offers her a small smile, but it doesn’t reach his saddened eyes. 

“I couldn’t help falling for Kylo the way I did,” she confesses. “He was a part of you.”

Ben’s lips turn up into an unamused smile.

“I almost felt pity for him sometimes,” he admits. “He enjoyed life so much, cruel as he was. And he was every bit as enchanted by you as I am.”

He turns his head to look up at her.

“I never wanted to hurt anyone, Rey. I only… I just wanted a world where evil didn’t exist. And all I did was make the world even darker.”

“That’s not true,” she denies, leaning closer to him. “You saved me, you saved everyone. You destroyed him.”

She bites her lip, trying not to sob, but the pain in her chest is excruciating. 

“But Ben… you don’t deserve this…”

He offers a small, hopeful smile that glows through his eyes.

“I’m so glad you’re here with me,” he tells her as her fingers squeeze around his hand. “I’ve been so alone in all of this…”

She sees his body suddenly tense in pain, his face contorting into a grimace as the poison settles deeper into his body. 

“Rey… tell me something… tell me about your childhood.”

Rey is positive that any other tale would be better to recount than this one. But she also knows this may very well be the only other person on this Earth she would ever want to share such sorrows with. 

Taking a deep breath, Rey moves up next to Ben, laying herself on the bed next to him, keeping ahold of his hand. 

“I never talked about it because I wanted to pretend it didn’t exist, I suppose. And there… there was never really anyone to tell.”

“You can tell me.”

She smiles to herself, but her body still trembles slightly, as if she were having a physical reaction to finally doing this.

“It was quite hopeless,” she begins. “I never had any parents. They left me at the doorstep of an orphanage with nothing but a first name. No one even knew how old I was. Eventually, in a couple years, they sent me off to a man who had connections with the agency, I guess. He was… well, he was the one who gave me the brand that you saw.”

Ben’s eyes flicker down to her arm, where the horrific scar is hidden under her sleeve. 

“I was beaten and locked up and starved more times than I can count. It was awful, but it gave me motivation to start looking for work as soon as possible. I was able to work as a maid for a couple small families at first. I guess I eventually got lucky, because I landed a job with a family that had good enough connections to recommend me to your household.” 

She sees a flicker of a smile on Ben’s lips. 

“I always thought my life was so useless. Even after I left Unkar Plutt, my spirit had died. And then I came here, and it was… it was beautiful and exciting.”

She smiles, a true smile that fills her with a joyous feeling in the pit of her stomach. 

“It gave me hope again.” 

“I remember the first time I saw you,” Ben tells her, his face matching the same smile she now wears on her face. “I hadn’t really noticed you before I guess when you were first introduced… I guess I was probably a bit distracted.”

Rey nods in agreement.

“But I remember falling in love with you the first day I saw you out in the yard.”

At this, Rey feels a shock ripple through her body that makes her go rigid for a moment, wondering if perhaps he misspoke, or maybe she heard him incorrectly. 

“I don’t know if you realize, but I have a fairly clear view of the yard from my office. And a perfectly good view of the front steps from here.”

Rey almost feels embarrassed at this revelation. But something about it also makes her heart swell.

“I watched you clean those steps every morning. Then I’d watch you spending all those hours working in your garden, or reading. Just watching you, all that time… it gave me such inspiration.”

“I hadn’t realized,” Rey speaks, feeling overrun with pleased surprise. 

Ben’s expression suddenly sinks, the light going from his eyes once more.

“I suppose it wasn’t always good that came from it though,” he relays. “Watching you all that time, wondering about you… I wondered if anything evil could ever exist in someone so kind, so gentle. It made me hate the evil I know existed in myself. So I wondered… if there was perhaps a way one could kill that evil off.” 

Rey feels her heart settle heavily in her chest. 

“Ben,” she whispers, unable to find the right words to comfort him. 

“Rey,” he speaks, shifting uncomfortably, and she quickly turns onto her side to look at him, her hand going to touch the side of his face. “I’ve made certain… arrangements, for when I’m gone.”

“Ben, please,” Rey shakes her head, painful tears beginning to stream down her face again.

“When I am gone, everything here will belong to you,” he goes on, ignoring her plea. “You are to inherit everything. I have no other family to give it to. And if things could have continued the way they should have… everything would have been yours anyway.” 

Rey can’t even calm her mind enough to properly register what exactly he is telling her. 

“You will be the mistress of the house. You will have complete ownership and control over my entire savings. I assure you, it is enough to keep you living comfortably. And enough to allow you to start a life of your own.” 

Rey’s heart is nearly beating out of her chest as she tries to take all of this in.

“I… how could you give me all of this?” she asks helplessly. 

He stares into her eyes, the exact way he looked into them when they danced at the ball.

“I love you,” is his answer.

Rey half cries, half laughs, slightly hysterical as her hand goes to her mouth, unbelieving that he would do this for her. 

“Poe Dameron has been told everything,” Ben goes on. “He will be able to help you with all of it, you can trust him. He will make sure everything remains rightfully in your hands, as others will no doubt try to keep you from it.”

He turns away, looking over towards the table beside him, and Rey rises from her spot laying next to him to look over and see a bundle of papers lying there.

“Those are all the necessary contracts. I’ve signed everything, and all you have to do is sign a few things next to my name that will give you the inheritance. Take everything to Poe and have him help you after… when you leave here today.”

He turns back to look at her, and she can see it’s getting harder and harder for him to move properly.

“And Rey… there’s a country house that I own in Alderaan. I haven’t been there in years, but… I remember it being quite beautiful. I’ve noticed how dull you find it here, and I think you might find it much happier there, if you desire.”

“I’ve seen pictures of Alderaan,” Rey recalls, imagining the stunning images she has seen in various books of the magnificent country, books she had snuck only glances at from the library she’d be able to sneak into every once in a while. “It’s lovely.”

“Finn Storm, a friend I’ve known since childhood, oversees the house now. He will help you to obtain it. Poe can put you into contact with him.”

Rey has no words to describe her emotions. Her gratitude. Her amazement. The opportunity to live independently, to have the freedom to live a life completely on her own terms, never having to answer or cower under anyone again… 

It is a bit mind-boggling, to say the least. 

“This is very overwhelming,” she expresses, her hand still clinging onto his, the sensation more than natural by now. “I don’t… I don’t know what to say. This is… it’s everything I could ever dream of having.”

Ben’s head turns slightly in concern when he sees her hopeless expression.

“But it could never be enough without you,” she sighs despairingly, feeling her heart sink lower as she says it out loud. “How am I supposed to continue going on with all of this, and no one to share it with?” 

His eyes glimmer with seriousness as he looks at her, as if trying to touch a deep part of her soul. 

“I’ll always be with you, Rey,” he promises, with such confidence that it seems as if he’s surely looked into her future. 

Unwilling to waste a second more, Rey leans forward and presses her lips to his, her hand going to rest against his face as they lock into a passionate, if remorseful kiss.

It’s different than kissing Kylo. It’s deeper, simpler. It feels as if something has suddenly connected, and everything is as it should be. 

Had it been under happier circumstances, she probably would have butterflies in her stomach and a deep blush on her face.

Even once their lips disconnect, she keeps her face close, touching her forehead against his as his arm circles around her waist, his other hand reaching up to brush through her hair. 

“I’m sorry for being such a coward,” he whispers, his voice sounding so strained now. “I should have told you of my feelings before… all of this could have happened.”

“It’s ok,” she offers him a small, reassuring smile, caressing her hand along his face. “Perhaps I shouldn’t have been so cowardly myself. I love you, Ben Solo.”

She is overjoyed to see how happy he looks at this. The smile he gives her looks almost amazed, as if he’s just achieved the greatest feat imaginable.

“If everything had gone along the way it was supposed to… I would have asked you to be my wife.”

His smile fades, but the loving look in his eyes remains as he stares up at her.

“To spend my life with you would have been truly wondrous.”

Rey laughs in agreement, even as she feels a stinging weight in her chest when she thinks of how things could have gone so much better between them.

“I would have happily married you,” she promises him. “I would have been more than delighted to spend the rest of our days together.” 

He smiles, and they kiss once again. 

They spend the next few moments simply embracing one another, desperately seeking comfort from each other for as long as they possibly can. 

As much as the reality hurts, Rey finds herself wrapped in a warm, consoling kind of sensation, lying here with him. It may not be able to make up for all the time lost, or all the time they could have had together, but for now, it’s perfect. 

She ends up lying beside him, holding his hand with both of hers now, and he looks into her eyes, the both of them silently telling each other everything they wish they could have before. 

It takes just a couple more minutes before Ben’s eyes finally close for the final time, and he passes on peacefully, Rey silently weeping and grasping his hand, even long after he is gone. 

She stays beside him, her eyes closed as well as she continues holding him, pretending for a while that he is still here, merely asleep and will awaken with her soon so that they may begin their life together. 

The day has long begun when Rey finally hears a knock at the door, and she is forced to remove herself from her numb fantasy. 

Opening her eyes, her heart is at least relieved to see Ben looking as peaceful as ever, forever free of his troubles and the evil that was the darkest part of his soul.

She leans forward, placing one last kiss against his lips, a silent goodbye, before she moves a bit closer, her lips caressing against his face as she whispers to him, the last of her tears touching against his cheek as well as her own. 

“Farewell, my love.”

Rising from the bed, she finally releases his hand, leaving it resting against the blankets as she stands, moving towards the other side of the bed, to the table where the bundle of papers sits. The papers that hold Ben’s final gift to her. 

The knock on the door comes again as she scoops the papers up in her arms, her expression now solemn, devoid of her heartbreak that she carefully puts away, to the back of her mind until the moment where she can revisit it properly. 

Gathering every bit of her strength that she has garnered through all of this terror and heartache, and from the horrors that have plagued her life long before all of this, Rey walks forward towards the door, without looking back, and reaches for the handle, prepared to step out of this room, and into a new chapter of her life.


End file.
